In a world where kindness and compassion are both highly prized and rare virtues, good people sometimes encounter situations in which they are mistreated by others. Why do we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we are treated poorly despite our efforts to be kind? The reality is that the treatment you receive does not always reflect your goodness, as the actions of others are influenced by their own experiences and perspectives, which may not be related to your character.
Why am I a good person and they treat me badly? In this Psychology-Online article, we will explain why people who consider themselves good can experience negative treatment, the consequences of this and how to address these situations.
Why am I such a good person and they treat me badly?
First of all, it is important to understand that the perception of a person being good or bad is subjective, so it will vary from person to person. In other words, what one person considers a kind act, another might interpret differently due to their beliefs and values. Other reasons for receiving this treatment include:
- Envy and jealousy: Additionally, envy and jealousy can play an important role in negative treatment of good people. Those people who stand out for being kind can awaken feelings of insecurity and lack of self-esteem in others, which in turn can manifest in poor treatment of them, responding negatively as a way of protecting themselves.
- These are isolated situations: Sometimes, negative treatment can be due to isolated circumstances or moments of tension. People may react more aggressively or unfavorably in times of stress, even if they generally like someone because of the feelings they are experiencing at the time.
- Unrealistic expectations: Likewise, people may have unrealistic expectations about someone’s goodness and feel disappointed if their expectations are not met. This can lead to negative treatment as a reaction to the perceived unkindness.
Lastly, the previous relationship experiences that have been painful can influence how people interact in future relationships. If someone has experienced betrayal in the past, he may be more likely to treat someone badly who shows kindness.
This distrust can lead the person to be more likely to misinterpret someone’s actions as a sign of betrayal, even when it is not. Therefore, if someone has been in relationships where he was treated continuously or have witnessed others treating each other badly, they may learn to replicate those patterns in future relationships, even if deep down they want to be kind.
What happens when a person treats you badly?
When a person treats you badly, whether occasionally or continuously, the consequences can be significant both emotionally and psychologically. Below we explain some of the consequences that can arise as a result of receiving negative treatment from someone.
- Lack of self-esteem: Negative treatment can bring down a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Constant criticism or belittling can cause someone to begin to doubt their worth and feel inadequate.
- Stress and anxiety: Living in an environment where you are treated negatively can generate a high level of stress and anxiety. Constant tension and the anticipation of more negative treatment can have a detrimental impact on mental health.
- Depression: Continued negative treatment can contribute to the development of depression. People who constantly feel belittled or devalued may experience symptoms of sadness and despair.
- Isolation: People who face negative treatment often feel isolated or marginalized. They may avoid social situations or hide and avoid other relationships out of fear of rejection or the pain they feel when treated badly.
- Problematic Relationships: Experiencing negative treatment in a relationship can lead to dysfunctional patterns in future relationships. Some people may have difficulty setting healthy boundaries or trusting others.
- Self-destructive reactions: In some cases, people may respond to negative treatment by blaming themselves and trying to see themselves in a negative light, which can lead to self-destructive behaviors.
- Communication problems: People who have experienced negative treatment may have difficulty expressing their emotions and suppressing their feelings or have difficulty communicating with others.
How to treat people who treat you badly
Treating people who treat you badly can be a difficult situation to deal with. In these situations, staying calm is essential. Although you may feel hurt or angry, letting yourself get carried away with anger and reacting with hostility by putting yourself on their level generally makes the situation worse and harms your emotional well-being.
Set limits
An effective strategy is to set limits. Firmly and respectfully communicate your personal limits It is essential for your well-being. You must make it clear that you will not tolerate disrespectful or abusive treatment from that person, regardless of who he or she is.
You can express your feelings assertively without being aggressive or blaming the other. Sometimes simply saying “I feel bad when you say things like that” is enough to make the other person aware of her actions and that way she doesn’t feel attacked. In the following article we explain to you.
Listen to their reasons
Another important aspect is to listen to the reasons why the other person treats you badly. Try to understand the reasons behind her behavior.
Sometimes people who behave badly towards others They may be going through difficult personal situations and expressing your pain inappropriately with people who don’t deserve it.
Set distance
If, despite having communicated, they continue to treat you poorly, consider the possibility of stay away from that person. In these types of situations you can lean on the people who love you, your family or even a therapist to help you manage stress and know how to cope with these types of situations in the future.
Seek help
If the person who treats you badly is willing to change, consider seek help together, such as couples therapy or counseling. However, the desire to change must come from the other person and not from you, since we cannot save someone who does not want to be saved.
Remember that someone’s mistreatment of you is not your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated, and it is essential to recognize your own value and dignity. You are priority, and you must take steps to protect it in all your relationships.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why am I a good person and they treat me badly?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- De Rivera, J.L. (2005). Psychological abuse. https://altariaeditorial.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/978-84-938752-9-9_maltratopsicologico.pdf
- De Terreros, MG (2006). Psychological abuse. sky. https://scielo.isciii.es/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1135-76062006000100008&lang=es
- Vera, A. (2023). Misattribution theory: Examples and experiment. Crane Psychology and Nutrition. https://grullapsicologiaynutricion.com/blog/teoria-atribucion-erronea