The phenomenon of ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without explanation or communication, has gained popularity in recent years. However, another related term, zombieinghas emerged to describe an even more disconcerting situation: when someone who made you ghosting decides to return unexpectedly to your life.
In this Psychology-Online article we will address the delicate and complex situation of what to do when someone made you ghosting and then comes back to contact you, what are the reasons why they do ghosting and they come back and advice on how to react when they make you ghosting and they come back.
What is zombieing?
He “zombieing” is a term that has emerged in the relationship field to describe particularly disconcerting and frustrating behavior. It refers to when someone who previously ghosted youthat is, he abruptly disappeared from your life without giving any explanation, suddenly reappears after a period of time without contact.
The concept of zombieing It resembles the image of a zombie from horror movies: someone who seemed dead and out of your life suddenly comes back to life without warning. This behavior can generate a mix of confusing and contradictory emotions on the person who was ghosted.
When someone does zombieing, you may text, call, or even physically appear after being missing for weeks or months. This reappearance can be very shocking and can generate a series of questions in the person who was ghosted: Why have they returned now? What do you want from me? Should I give it a second chance?
It is important to recognize that the zombieing It can be harmful to the person experiencing it. It can generate feelings of confusion, frustration and mistrustsince the individual who made ghosting He previously provided no explanation or apology for his sudden disappearance. This can make the person feel manipulated or used.
Why are there people who ghost and come back?
There are several reasons why there are people who do ghosting and they come back. Next, we present the causes of ghosting and zombieing most common:
- Fear of commitment: some people do ghosting and they return because they feel overwhelmed by the level of intimacy and commitment that a relationship entails. Do ghosting It can be a way to escape those emotional responsibilities. However, over time, they may reconsider their decision and feel the need to return to try to restart the relationship.
- Emotional insecurity: People with low self-esteem or emotional insecurities may have difficulty maintaining stable, committed relationships. Ghosting can be a reflection of yourself or being hurt. However, upon realizing that they miss the other person or feel remorse, they may try to reestablish contact.
- Changes in circumstances: when they make you ghosting and they return may be due to external situations they are experiencing, such as family, work or health problems. When these circumstances are resolved or improved, they may feel the need to reconnect with the person they left behind.
- Regret and maturity: some people may become aware of the damage they caused by doing ghosting and experience personal growth that prompts them to amend their actions. They may come back wanting to apologize, try to make things right, and look for a second chance. Find out if in this article.
- Curiosity or ego: sometimes the motivation to return after doing ghosting It can be more superficial. Some people may return simply to see if they still have influence or power over the other person, or out of curiosity to find out what has happened in their absence.
How to react when they ghost you and they come back
When you are ghosted and they reappear in your life it can be overwhelming and trigger a series of emotions and questions that are difficult to handle. To deal with this situation in a healthy way, we offer you some tips on how to respond to the zombieing:
- Reflect on your own feelings: Before taking any action, take some time to explore your own emotions. Are you still interested in that person? Do you feel prepared to open the door to a possible reconciliation? Reflecting on your feelings will help you make decisions and avoid acting impulsively when they do. zombieing.
- Set limits: It is important to define your limits and communicate them clearly and assertively. Consider what type of relationship you want to have with this person, if any. You can express your expectations and needs sincerely, ensuring that they are respected.
- Communicate openly: If you decide to give the person who did ghosting, it is essential to maintain open and honest communication. Express your concerns, questions and expectations clearly, and encourage an open dialogue where you can both share your thoughts and feelings.
- Assess their sincerity and remorse: See if the person shows real regret for their behavior. Pay attention to his actions and words to determine if he has reflected on the impact of his ghosting and if you are committed to changing and doing things differently.
- Observe their behavior: Consider if there are problematic patterns of behavior that repeat themselves in the relationship. Evaluate whether this person has demonstrated a real and consistent change in their way of relating to you. He ghosting It can be an indicator of lack of emotional maturity or difficulties in dealing with conflicts. See if you have worked on yourself to address these issues.
- Take care of yourself: and mentally during this process. Practice activities and routines that make you feel good and help you maintain a balanced perspective. Seek support from friends, family, or even a mental health professional if you consider it necessary.
- Don’t rush into making decisions: taking the time to evaluate the situation is crucial. Don’t feel pressured to make quick decisions. The process of rebuilding trust takes time and it is important to ensure that you are making decisions based on your needs and wants. In this article, we tell you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Beres, M.A., Pearman-Beres, L.J., & Johns, P. (2020). YOUTH HEALTHY AND SAFE RELATIONSHIPS: A LITERATURE REVIEW. University of OTAGO. https://ourarchive.otago.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10523/10531/Beres%20et%20al%20YHSR%20Report%20Final.pdf?sequence=1
- García, I., & Bove, KP (2022). Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, Catfishing: A Corpus Analysis of English Borrowings in the Spanish Speaking World. Languages, 7(2), 119. https://doi.org/10.3390/languages7020119
- Vara, LG (2023). Zombieing, ghosting 2.0 and what to do when your ex reappears. vanitatis.elconfidencial.com. https://www.vanitatis.elconfidencial.com/vida-saludable/2023-05-22/zombiening-ghosting-que-zando-when-reaprece-tu-ex_3632000/