Sometimes you meet someone, but this person is in another relationship. Even so, you think it’s worth trying something with that person, you notice feelings and you think: hey, why not? You get to know each other and finally you end up hooking up. But, suddenly, things change, he or she gets tired and she no longer looks for you like before, you feel like you have tried to get closer but you have been rejected on different occasions.
In this Psychology-Online article, we explain because a married person walks away from his lover. We will see what a married person thinks of his lover and when a loving relationship ends.
You have different expectations
A marriage can entail different expectations, you focus your life on something more serious with a different perspective, perhaps you have already planned to start a family and He believes that the stage of having a lover is over.
has no interest
Another option that we can find when a married person distances himself from his or her lover is because the lover It has become another routine and it no longer arouses that interest that it previously generated. It may be that the encounters with that lover have become somewhat more routine and that the married person has lost interest in his or her lover. It may be that you no longer like that person, that the encounters have become boring, or that their tastes and preferences have changed.
Sons and daughters
This is one of the most important reasons why a married person may distance himself from his lover: the fact of having a son or daughter. This great event in a person’s life can lead him to acquire more responsibilities and respect for your partner and your family, as well as becoming more afraid of losing everything you have created.
Fear of divorce
The married person may have changed their mind and is afraid of losing their partner. For this reason, he distances himself from his lover to focus on her marriage. The person with a lover, perhaps, has realized that she does not want to risk losing him for an adventure that does not provide this stability, but more adrenaline.
Changes
Maybe you have changed cities or jobs, maybe their routines and schedules are different and that it is difficult for you to find moments to meet with your lover. Perhaps, among her priorities, she is not her lover and, therefore, when she has less time, it is the first thing she stops doing.
Relationship Maturity
Another reason that can lead someone to distance themselves from their lover is the maturity of the relationship, they may have seen that the person next to them has everything they wanted and looked for in a partner, that has led them to give this step further and establish a more mature relationship.
Balance of relationships
It may happen that the person has taken stock of both relationships and has finally decided to bet on the one they already had and not risk anything else. Throughout the history of a couple, several balances are made in the relationships, it may happen that in one of these balances they decide that perhaps it would have been better to choose you and try again to regain contact with you.
He has fallen in love and is afraid
There are many types of relationships with lovers, but they tend to be a little more superficial than those with a couple. The level of intimacy is usually more associated with sex than with expressing emotions and sometimes that can cause you to know each other, but not as much as the partner knows you. Therefore, leaving your partner for you is a risk, despite the clear attraction in every sense that you can both notice and even begin to awaken loving feelings towards the lover. When someone feels this, It may be that he or she is afraid of those feelings that are awakening within him or her. and decide to get away from the lover before she can’t remedy what she feels. If this is the case, it may happen that she keeps thinking about you and that in moments of confusion she tries to contact you. What are the signs that a married person is in love with his lover? In this article you can see.
Your partner has realized
It may also happen that the couple has realized the situation and, before leaving the relationship, decides to make an ultimatum to it “either you stop seeing X person or I am leaving home”, then that is when the person He realizes he has something to lose and walks away from his lover.. When the decision has not been made by the individual, it may happen that I have not stopped thinking about the lover, but rather that contact has actually been stopped more out of obligation than out of “wanting.”
Comfort
It may be that at first you found your relationship with your lover comfortable and fun, while as time has passed, the relationship has become more personal. It is possible if the relationship is now more intense, it also requires more effort to maintain it, an effort that perhaps you are not willing or able to make. This can be another reason why a married person distances himself from his lover.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Riso, W. (2003). To love or depend?: how to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Publisher: Norma.