In general, lusting after another person while in a committed relationship is common and can happen. Attraction and sexual desire are natural aspects of the human experience and do not always disappear completely when we are in a stable relationship. In this situation it is normal to wonder, if I have a partner but he thinks about another person, am I doing something wrong?
If you already have a partner and are attracted to someone else, you are in the right place to find out and respond like this It is normal to desire another person when you have a partner. In this Psychology-Online article, we will give you all the information you need to know about whether it is normal to think about another person having a partner.
What does it mean when one person desires another?
When a person desires another, it generally means that they feel sexual or romantic attraction to that person. Desire can manifest itself in different ways, such as feeling a strong physical attraction, sexual fantasies, or a deep interest in establishing an intimate and emotional relationship.
Desire can be influenced by a combination of factors, such as physical appearance, personality, emotional chemistry, and other aspects that vary by individual. It is important to keep in mind that desire is not limited only to physical attraction, but also It can also include emotional and psychological aspects.
It is natural for people to experience desires toward other individuals throughout their lives, even if they are in a committed relationship. However, it is essential to take into account the limits and commitments established in the existing relationship, as well as respect the feelings and needs of all parties involved.
In simple terms, wishing and wanting are not the same. Desiring is more similar to an impulse, something primitive, an intense attraction towards something or someone, while wanting is similar to what is known as a feeling and, therefore, lasts over time. In the following article you will find more information about .
Is it normal to think about another person having a partner?
It is normal for people to have thoughts and fantasies about other people, even if they have a stable partner. Thoughts can be product of physical or emotional attractions towards someone else, or they can simply arise from human imagination and curiosity.
Monogamy doesn’t mean you stop finding other people attractive or having thoughts about them. have thoughts does not necessarily imply a lack of commitment or love towards your current partner.
Having fantasies about other people is normal, but the most important thing is how you handle those thoughts and how you behave in your relationship. Emotional and physical fidelity to your partner and mutual respect are essential aspects of maintaining a healthy relationship.
Can you love two people at the same time?
it’s possible have feelings of love towards two people at the same time. Love is a complex, multifaceted emotion, and human relationships can be equally complex. Every relationship has its own unique dynamic and connection, and it is conceivable that a person can experience deep, genuine love for more than one person at the same time.
However, it is important to keep in mind that loving two people at the same time can pose emotional challenges and dilemmas. The , where it is established and consented to have romantic and/or sexual relationships with multiple people, are a valid option for some people, as long as all the parties involved agree and the established limits and agreements are respected.
Sternberg triangle theory
Robert J. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a psychological model that describes three basic components of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. According to this theory, the combination and balance of these three components determines the differences we experience.
- Privacy: refers to the emotional connection, closeness and deep emotional bond that is established with another person. It involves sharing feelings, thoughts, dreams and intimate concerns.
- Passion: refers to the desire, sexual attraction and physical arousal that one feels towards another person. This dimension includes sexual attraction and romantic energy.
- Commitment: refers to the conscious, long-term decision to maintain a relationship. It involves a commitment to invest time, effort, and resources in the relationship, as well as a willingness to overcome obstacles and face challenges that may arise.
According to Sternberg’s theory, different types of love are formed from the combination and balance of these three basic components. For example:
- Romantic love: implies high intimacy and passion, but low commitment.
- Love friend: implies high intimacy and commitment, but low passion.
- Passionate love: implies high passion and intense sexual attraction, but low intimacy and commitment.
- consummate love: implies a balanced combination of intimacy, passion and commitment.
It is important to note that Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a way of conceptualizing love, and not all models or theories of love coincide in the same classification or structure. Besides, love relationships can change over time and experiment with different combinations of these components as they evolve.
What to do when another person appears in a relationship
When a third person appears or someone enters the relationship, the participation or reach of this third party will depend largely on the openness that is offered. Remember that when talking about instability in relationships, not only fidelity is considered, but also the degree of trust, physical attraction, and the common goals of the relationship, among other factors.
What can you do if you are attracted to, like, or have fallen in love with another person while having a partner? Before making a decision, we recommend you do the following:
- Go to the psychologist to work on your emotional well-being.
- Recognize your emotions and feelings and be aware of them.
- Identify what attracts you to the other person to know what you are looking for.
- Avoid comparing that attraction with your relationshipbecause remember that relationships go through stages, and it is possible that you feel nostalgic for the stage of falling in love.
- Avoid making important decisions without having evaluated the circumstances and addressing your concerns.
- Remember your values and act accordingly.
- Be guided by sincerityrespect and honesty so as not to harm others.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Goleman, Daniel. (1998). The practice of emotional intelligence. Spain. Kairos SA
- Sternberg, R.J. (1988). The love triangle. Intimacy, passion and commitment. Paidós. Iberian.