Becoming aware is being able to see what was hidden from our information. In this video, Enric Corbera will explain to us through practical examples what it means to become aware, what it implies and why do it.
What have we been looking for since time immemorial? Happiness, love, peace, well-being and freedom. However, usually, we carry out this search towards the outside, which is useless because this is implicitly contained within oneself. That is, we look outside for what is already in us.
In this article we explain what it is, why it is essential for our personal growth and how to practice introspection through Bioneuroemotion to increase our self-knowledge through our interpersonal relationships.
In this Conference, Enric and David Corbera explain what the self-inquiry process consists of, what its implications are and how we can apply it to begin to be the creators of our lives.
What is introspection? Meaning and purpose
The word introspection comes from Latin and its definition is “the action of looking within”. It’s about a reflective act of our mind that allows us to be aware of our own emotional states, feelings, thoughts and beliefs, that is, allows us to know our internal state.
The purpose of training introspection is to be able to observe what happens in our mind and investigate our psyche, to make conscious information that was kept at an unconscious level. In this way, we get to know ourselves more and more.
To deepen who we are is to broaden our consciousness about ourselves and it is the most efficient way to boost our .
Introspection as part of self-knowledge
We all want to continue growing, developing our abilities and improving in different aspects of our lives. Knowing ourselves internally, knowing how we work, is an essential step to manifest our potential.
But, at the same time, we have learned to fear what we can find within ourselves. We have so to look at it takes some courage.
Idries Shah’s Sufi tale explains this idea clearly. He says like this:
Very late at night Nasrudin is found circling a lamppost, looking down. He passes by a neighbor.
– What are you doing Nasruddin, have you lost anything?– The question.
– Yes, I’m looking for my key.
The neighbor stays with him to help him search. After a while, a neighbor walks by.
-What are you doing? – heit is a question.
– We are looking for the key of Nasrudín.
She also wants to help them and starts looking. Then another neighbor joins them. Together they search and search and search. Having searched for a long time, they end up getting tired. A neighbor asked:
-Nasrudín, we have been looking for your key for a long time, are you sure you lost it in this place? -.
-Not– says Nasrudin.
-Where did you lose it, then?-.
–There, in my house-.
–So why are we looking for her here?–
-Well, because here there is more light and my house is very dark-.
In the same way, we put the focus where it is easier for us to seenot where we really have to.
Precisely the things we justify ourselves in a loop are the ones we don’t want to see and, therefore, the ones that are most difficult for us to modify, because we do not put light or awareness on them.
Introspection accelerates self-awareness
Usually, in the most difficult moments is when the need to connect with ourselves. However, most of us have not been taught how to introspect and, on the contrary, we have learned to fear what we can find within ourselves.
Many times, we cannot change the circumstances, but we can observe how we are living them in order to change our perception. This will help us change how we feel and how we respond to what happens to us.
Therefore, the first step is to ask ourselves what we are feeling and thinking in a concrete situation of difficulty, and also observe how we respond to what is happening.
And the second step is based on the unity consciousnesswhich allows us to recognize that what we see outside is a reflection of our internal state.
Paradoxically, the best way to know oneself, and discover what is inside us, is to look outside recognizing ourselves in everything we perceive.
However, due to the fear of which we have spoken, in the face of a self-reflexive process we will try, unconsciously, to avoid coming into contact with aspects of our own that we have rejected and with pain.
As Seneca stated, “If we deceive ourselves in our self-knowledge, we will be the ones who will provide ourselves with our own labyrinth and always with no way out.”
Not to introspect is to give up our power
If we do not attend to what we really are, through introspection, by definition it will be the look of the other that condemns us or exalts us.
We have grown up in a culture where it seems to be more important to “appear” than “to be”. Without introspection and self-awareness, we give others the power to direct our lives.
We live in the belief that everything good comes from outside, and so does the bad. During our growth we learn many things, but we have not been educated to understand and live our emotions in a healthy way, nor to know and accept ourselves.
We have not learned to self-observe our thoughts and beliefs, in order to reinforce or question them depending on the circumstances. The education we have received does not encourage introspection and does not instill the importance of “knowing yourself”, therefore it is understandable that we avoid something that we do not know, but in this movement what we are running from is ourselves and our greatness.
“Our greatest fear is not that we are not adequate.
Our fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light and not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”
But really, who are you not to be?
–Marianne Williamson
A) Yes, resistance to self-discovery delays our personal development, perpetuates our problems and prevents us from finding the treasures that remain latent in .
Introspection and Bioneuroemotion
Bioneuroemotion offers techniques and tools aimed at overcoming these barriers in order to know oneself and through a process of self-inquiry that allows one to observe one’s own life with objectivity, honesty and critical spirit.
as we go putting light where before there was darknessthat is, by making conscious all those behaviors, reactions and thought tendencies that we carried out automatically, as in a state of hypnosis, we can freely decide who to be and how to act.
In other words, let’s go Y exercising our freedom to choose how to live.
“No man is free if he is not master of himself.”
– Epictetus
Introspection in relationships: examples
The person who focuses on knowing himself stops pointing fingers at others As responsible for what happens to her, she stops looking for justifications and explanations outside of herself.
That is to say, moves from a dual approach to a performing an act of observation through which you can really understand that what is in front of you works like a mirror.
How to start increasing our self-awareness
When we are in a situation that causes us conflict, there will be things that we see in others that annoy us, that upset us and that, in reality, speak of us. Accepting this is one of the main challenges we encounter when we set out to increase our self-awareness.
Carrying out a self-inquiry requires a lot of honestysince we must assume our own responsibility for what happens to us, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for us.
To begin, in any interpersonal conflict, observe what part of you you may be perceiving in the other person in a specific stress scene. To identify what you see reflected in, you can ask yourself:
- What action is this person doing that I would like to do and don’t allow myself?
- In what aspect of my life do I do the same and judge myself for it?
- What own characteristic can I be perceiving in the other person?
- What can I learn from her?
Example of introspection in the couple
Imagine that a person is bothered that his Go hiking with your parents every Saturday instead of eating at your in-laws. At the time that stop accusing the other and she makes an inquiry, she realizes which parts of her are influencing her way of perceiving and her way of feeling about what causes her stress.
You discover that what bothers you the most is that your partner choose to do what you want over what your environment demands of you. He understands that she doesn’t allow herself to prioritize what he wants to do and usually ends up doing what is expected of her. Furthermore, she realizes that this pattern of behavior she has learned from her mother.
In this way, thanks to his partner, he can see that his behavior comes from his childhood learning, and that now you can choose to do what you want, and not what others impose on him.
Example of introspection with parents
Now consider a man who complains that his she calls him every day to complain and to ask him to do this or that for her. when she decides stop blaming her and take your share of responsibilityinvestigates and realizes that he also lives in the complaint and continues to do things that he does not want for his mother, hoping that she will recognize him for his efforts.
What annoys him the most is that she asks him for what she needs without worrying about how he is. So she can see that he is not attending to his own needs to satisfy those of others, in this case those of his mother. His learning goes through observing what he really wants and starting to act accordingly.
In this way, takes responsibility for their own well-being, freeing his mother from this burden and allowing her to do the same. Thus, she reciprocates and gives way to a more balanced and healthy relationship.
Example of introspection at work
Let’s look at the case of a person who feels annoyed because they think their partner is irresponsible and they have to take on more than their fair share of tasks. What bothers him the most is that when he finishes his day, she leaves the office, even though he hasn’t finished the task he was working on.
When you look closely at what is bothering you, and stop judging others, you can see that she always prioritizes her work over her leisure. She even takes work home, which is already affecting her relationship as well.
Learning involves being a little more like your partner, allowing yourself to set limits to your work activity in order to enjoy other dimensions of your life. Thus, thanks to what bothered him, he discovers how he can improve his life.
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