All of us have fallen into the traps and entanglements of manipulative people at some point. And, to be honest, who hasn’t been pissed off by this situation? The feeling of feeling cheated and defrauded can be one of the worst anyone can ever know.
Therefore, in Psychology-Online, we explain how to recognize a manipulative person, what are the characteristics that will help you detect them and how to unmask a manipulative person with simple techniques.
What is a manipulative person: characteristics
In psychology, the manipulative person is known as someone who has a Machiavellian personality. These people are usually characterized by having cynical, unprincipled behavior and a tendency to believe that manipulation is the key to success in life.
Manipulative people generally possess a lack of morality and concern for the feelings of others, so they have no remorse about taking advantage of those around them. You could say that a simple way that they are not able to empathize with the rest of society.
As seen in some studies, such as the one carried out by psychologist Jones (2011), these people are not impulsive at all, but rather tend to reflect on the way in which they are going to act, which is usually very prudent to, in In this way, obtain the maximum personal benefit.
These people are strongly linked to lies and purposeful deceptionThat is, they will not lie for no reason, but all their deceptions will have a final goal. Usually, they have the ability to detect those people with weak personalities, of whom it will be easier for them to take advantage. To do this, they look for the weaknesses of other individuals and make them believe that with their help they will be able to overcome them, thus creating a feeling of gratitude and the need to return the favor in the person. This is when the harmful relationship begins, as a bond is created between the two that the manipulative person will do everything possible to not break.
What is a manipulative person like in a relationship?
I am completely sure that we all know a couple in which one of the two people who make it up is manipulative and, therefore, exercises a certain amount of control over the other. This is nothing strange or new in our world, on the contrary, it is becoming more and more common to see it.
Manipulative people, as we have said, take advantage of the weaknesses and emotional shortcomings of the other person to exert their influence over them and be able to obtain almost total control over their actions and even over their personality.
These people need to feel superior to the rest, so they will have no problem humiliating their partner and discrediting them if this is going to lead to an increase in their own self-esteem.
According to psychology, manipulative people tend to choose different types of Strategies to exercise your “power”:
- They make you believe that they are victims of society and that everything around them is against them, making it almost impossible to refuse their demands.
- The dependent manipulator. His goal is to make you believe that you are the superior in your relationship so that you can somehow do everything that he “isn’t capable of doing.”
- They act in a provocative and challenging way. In this way, they get you to do what he wants to avoid a dispute between the two of you.
- The discrediter will believe himself to be the best of all, the only one capable of doing anything and will try by all means to highlight the defects of the rest. The only way for them to give you their attention is by performing favors for them.
How to disarm a manipulative person: 11 strategies or tricks
Below, we present a series of guidelines that can help you disarm a manipulative person and avoid falling into their entanglements:
- Be conscious. We all have a series of unavoidable rights and if at any time in your relationship you feel that any of them may be violated, consider the possibility of being manipulated.
- Ask him if his demand is reasonable.. There are times when the manipulative person is not able to realize that what he is asking for is unreasonable, since his only objective is to satisfy his immediate needs. Therefore, if you get the person to reconsider the request, it is possible that he will withdraw the demand that he has requested from you.
- Identify your behavior with different people. Manipulative people tend to act differently with different people, since they have to use different relationship strategies in order to achieve their objectives.
- keep your distance. I add this point here because if you have managed to see that a person acts very differently depending on the rest of the individuals around him, I recommend that you keep a safe distance from him and avoid interacting directly with him unless it is necessary.
- Take your time to reflect. Although we have previously commented that manipulative people are not impulsive when it comes to acting, they are very impatient to know the answer to a request they have made, because they know that the longer the other person thinks, the less likely it will be. that they say yes to your demand.
- Say NO. Don’t be afraid to refuse a request made by them. Many times, we agree to perform certain favors because we feel that we owe them something, however, this is not the case. Be firm in your beliefs and refuse to do what you do not feel comfortable or agree with. In the following article, we explain.
- Don’t feel guilty. Refusing to do a favor is not synonymous with being a bad person or being to blame for what happens around you. Make decisions thinking about your well-being.
- Be firm in your decisions. Manipulative people are able to recognize vulnerability and hesitation, so if they have the slightest suspicion that your denial has even the slightest possibility of it being a yes in the end, they will try to take advantage of it at all costs.
- . If they see that you lose your temper, they will use this to their advantage, as they will tend to make you feel guilty so that you accept their demands.
- Accept your personality. These people are not going to change the way they act, so it will be almost impossible to get them to change their behavior. We recommend that if you are not able to deal with this type of behavior in a way that does not manipulate you, the best thing you can do is distance yourself.
- Everything in writing. If you have the impression that someone is trying to manipulate you and take advantage of you, never make a verbal deal, as they will always use this act for their own benefit.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to unmask a manipulative personwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- JoyBell, C. The importance of finishing what you start.
- Moraga, FRG (2015). The dark triad of personality: Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy. An evolutionary look. Crime, 57(2), 253-265.
- Nacho Ibañez. Personality. Jaume I University. 2015