Death is part of the life cycle of every living being, however, it continues to remain a taboo subject in our society, becoming one of the events that most frightens the vast majority of people. Feeling a certain fear of death is natural, death implies finitude and our entire life is reduced to finding a meaning in our life, a meaning in our existence.
However, when this fear invades your life and produces high feelings of anxiety, it is possible that we are facing a death-phobic disorder, thanatophobia, which affects 2% of the population.
Talking about death generates a feeling of discomfort and that is why it has become a social taboo, but if you want to transcend this cultural connotation, continue reading this article from where we will talk about how to overcome the fear of death.
Why am I afraid of death?
The human being is the only living being that has the capacity for abstraction, that is, he has the capacity to become aware that throughout the life cycle a timeline is established that has a beginning and an end. This temporality releases a set of emotions, directed at fear of an uncertain future, which can end up triggering a phobic disorder: thanatophobia. The self-awareness of the human being allows him to formulate questions that mark his existence, such as: what is the meaning of my life; Where do I come from; where am I going…? Which are born in the face of the awareness that life has an end. This purpose is unknown and we do not have control over it, which generates a high .
Faced with these fears that arise from the idea of ceasing to exist, Western culture has developed an image of death as something to be afraid of, difficult to accept and, therefore, something to be avoided. The consequence of this taboo has been the non-acceptance of death and this avoidance causes people to become increasingly vulnerable to this event.
The emotions that death arouses, as well as the thoughts associated with it, are different based on different factors, one of them: age. Young people or young adults perceive the end of their existence as a distant event and therefore, they understand that they do not have the need to face it and therefore they do not reflect on it. In old age, an increase in acceptance is seen, which makes it become less of a threat to the person, generating less anxiety. Therefore, they tend to be young and middle-aged adults, who, when faced with the denial of this reality and the social taboo who it has become, are the ones who have the most problems accepting the end of the life cycle.
Therefore, the lack of acceptance of death that has arisen as a consequence of being a social taboo, produces anxious feelings and thoughts which translate into fear of dying or thanatophobia.
Thanatophobia
Being afraid of dying is a natural fact caused by the factors mentioned previously and very common in our culture, however when this fear invades a person’s life and generates high anxiety, which can lead to the appearance of panic attacks, we are speaking of the, the phobia of death.
What is thanatophobia? Thanatophobia is the fear of dying. It is described as an irrational and persistent fear of death and everything that may surround it and with which it may be related (funerals, hospitals, coffins,…).
Thanatophobia: symptoms
This irrational fear can trigger a set of symptoms, which also appear in other phobic disorders, such as:
- Anxiety
- Obsessive thoughts about one’s own death
- avoidance behaviors
- Anxious or depressed mood
- Distress
- Panic crisis or
- Insomnia
This fear can have great consequences for the person’s life, limiting your daily life and in the most drastic cases, it prevents the person from stopping their daily activities and staying at home for fear of facing the possibility of dying.
How to overcome the fear of death
Below are 4 strategies to overcome the fear of death:
1. Acceptance of death
The first essential factor to get rid of the fear of dying is acceptance that all life has an end. We live immersed in a culture that eagerly seeks to delay the inevitable, thereby turning death into an abnormal factor, a misfortune. We live closing our eyes to death, as if our life were eternal and this attitude is related to the consciousness we have in the face of death, an empty consciousness. We must accept the inevitable and with its acceptance we will stop being afraid of the unknown, we must stop seeking control over it, since it is inevitable and with this we will reduce the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty that the fear of dying generates in us.
2. Live fully
Acceptance of death helps us enjoy our journey through life more, helps us appreciate what we have. It is for this reason that people live searching for meaning, it is the same goal that leads us to search for meaning in our lives, to think about what we want to leave about ourselves in this world and savor every day As if it were the last, this is how we should live.
3. Acceptance of your life
When the time comes, many people fear ceasing to exist, because when they look back they see that their life was not as they had expected. We cannot live anchored in the mistakes made in the past or in what we would have liked to be different. Your life is all your achievements and all your mistakes and all of this has led you to be who you are, do not waste your life thinking about how you could have done it differently, accept any vital circumstance that arises, accept your life experience because it is yours, so the first step to be able to overcome the fear of death is to accept it as such and accept your life.
4. Triggers
It may be that the fear of death has been revealed due to one or more triggers, such as some traumatic event, like the death of a loved one. If the fear of death is the result of a cause, overcoming this fear must focus on recovering from said event. If you find the trigger for your fear, it will be easier to face the fear of death.
Thanatophobia: treatment
When we talk about death phobia, the treatment is different. To overcome thanatophobia, as in any phobic disorder, treatment of a therapeutic nature and, if appropriate, psychopharmacological treatment is required.
For this, the treatment that has been most effective is . This therapy focuses on a set of techniques:
- Restructuring of thoughts: This technique aims to convert those thoughts associated with the fear of death that are negative, irrational and harmful, into thoughts that are more realistic and healthy.
- Relaxation techniques: they allow the person to lower the high levels of anxiety and stress generated by the fear of dying.
- Exposure: The exposure technique can be complex in the face of thanatophobia, its objective should be to accustom the person to their fear, in this case, the fear of death.
How to overcome the fear of the death of a family member
- Normalize. On many occasions the fear of death is not focused on oneself, but on the death of a loved one, an attachment figure. Being afraid of losing a loved one It is normalHowever, when this thought appears constantly, it can cause a high emotional burden and the appearance of many anxiety symptoms.
- Validate. It is important validate these feelings. It is normal to feel a certain fear at the possibility of losing a loved one, but what is not healthy is letting these feelings invade your life.
- Accept. Just as accepting one’s own death is important for overcoming the death of a loved one, acceptance is the most important element. With the acceptance of loss, it becomes easier to face it and show greater courage in the face of it. It is important to understand that it is part of the life cycle and the course of life and that it is a fact that we will all have to face one day.
- Work on self-esteem. On the other hand, it is important increase your self-esteem and independenceIt is normal to suffer when a loved one is lost, but to think that without that person your life would no longer have meaning or that you will not be able to live the same way without that person, magnifies the fear that this person may leave. Dependence on an attachment figure triggers greater vulnerability to its loss, which is why it is important to promote self-esteem and independence to cope.
- Manage emotions. Finally, it should be noted that we should not focus on those elements that we cannot control. We cannot control that the death of that loved person does not come, but we can decide how we want to spend our life with that person. Focus on what you can do, how you can help him today and how you want to spend time with that dear person. You can also control how you want to experience this situation, focus your attention on deal with fear and sadness in a healthy wayin learning to calm down and reduce anxiety and in knowing the loved ones around you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Borda, M., Pérez, A & Avargues, M. (2011). Cognitive-behavioral treatment in a case of death phobia. Behavior Analysis and Modification, 37, 91-114.
- Christoph, J. (2015). Don’t be afraid of dying: how to overcome the fear of death. New York: Plow Publishing House.
- Martí, C. (2014). Fear of dying: experimental study of the repercussions of anxiety about death in a young population; applications in end-of-life processes (Doctoral Thesis). University of Granada, Granada.
- Sanchís, L. (2017). Coping with fear of death (Doctoral Thesis). Complutense University of Madrid, Madrid.