The term “attachment” is extremely popular and tends to be related to interpersonal relationships, but what is it really about? Given that the term is certainly related to interpersonal ties and socio-affective behaviors in daily life, Psicologia-Online shares with you everything related to attachment, its meaning, types, causes and consequences. There are 4 types of attachment, secure attachment, insecure or avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment and ambivalent attachment. On this occasion, emphasizing what is ambivalent attachmentalso known as anxious attachment.
What is attachment
There is a lot to learn about , starting with the fact that it is usually related to being something negative when in reality it is some kind of bond that people develop when they are involved in a relationship. Especially when it comes to emotionally close and long-lasting relationships. This tendency to relate attachment with a negative and even pathological attitude may have its origin in confusion due to the inadequate interpretation of the word “dependency”, which in effect describes harmful attitudes both for those who present it and for those who are the object. of dependency.
Based on the theory of psychoanalytic influences proposed by John Bowlbyattachment is considered a kind of affective pattern that human beings develop from birth, and this is directed towards their mother and/or primary caregivers. In fact, it is believed that the greater the number of attachment relationships, the less the child will suffer, since during the first months of life, suffering is present in them when they have to face separation from their mother or caregivers, for example. any reason. It should be noted that, on the part of the child, the attachment arises from the need for protection and affectionwhich explains the experience of this suffering that arises before the first year of life, since in that period of time babies have not yet developed cognitive tools that allow them to understand that a physical separation can be momentary and therefore their figure of attachment (mom, dad or caregiver) will return.
Types of attachment
There are four, all give way to different emotions and each one is determined by the form of communication and the dynamics with which the mother responds to the child’s demand, at the same time that the infant experiences emotions in response to said interaction.
- secure attachment: developed from a relationship of reciprocity between mother and child where the mother remains attentive to the child’s needs and responds to them optimally. The child feels able to explore her environment thanks to the security provided by her attachment figure. People who achieve this attachment style tend to demonstrate self-acceptance, baseline trust, and stable interpersonal relationships.
- : In this attachment style, the child generally tends to behave in an elusive, cold or withdrawn manner, which can reinforce similar behavior in parents or primary caregivers. They demonstrate similar anxiety traits both towards attachment figures and towards strangers. In adulthood they usually act from self-efficacy with executive personality characteristics.
- disorganized attachment: This type of attachment is characterized by chaotic behavior in which there is no one person who stands out from the others in terms of emotional ties, but rather an attachment figure is sought according to the circumstances that surround them and what motivates the attachment. search is to avoid unpleasant emotions.
- ambivalent attachment: a type of attachment characterized by insecurity and anxiety, caused by the learning that comes from an intermittent attachment figure.
What is ambivalent or anxious attachment?
For its part, ambivalent attachment, also called anxious attachment or anxious-ambivalent attachment, owes its name to the fact that The established attachment style has an unstable base and lability between one feeling and anotherbetween love/hate, security/insecurity.
Taking into account that the attachment figure(s) are responsible for providing that feeling of security in the minor, when found in the care of a caregiver who does not respond to their demands constantly, the child ends up feeling anxiety and instability. This ambivalence of knowing that you are in charge of a caregiver, but without the certainty that the caregiver is available to care for you when necessary, creates this anxiety and limits their exploratory capacity.
How is ambivalent attachment reflected in adults? In this order of ideas, we understand how there are adults who seem to feel insecure or anxious in their relationships, they deeply fear abandonment and develop or, on the contrary, resort to the constant threat of “leaving” as a passive/aggressive instrument towards another person.
Examples of ambivalent attachment
Let’s look at some examples to identify a child with ambivalent attachment and also some examples to understand what an adult with an ambivalent or anxious attachment to their partner, family or friends is like:
- As a child, they cry and are distressed if they don’t see their mother or caregiver nearby.
- They reject the attachment figure and they look for him almost immediately in an affectionate way.
- They want to stay with the person and for them to continue the relationship, while at the same time express displeasure.
- Oscillation between search and rejection.
Causes of ambivalent attachment
Children condition their possibilities of exploring the world according to the attachment pattern they are developing. There is even research that proves that the type of attachment established with parents or primary caregivers during childhood significantly influences the way people relate during adulthood; whether it is a couple or friendly relationship. Consequently, certain particular attitudes that we do not understand or find incoherent in people are probably influenced by the attachment style that they tend to establish.
In general terms, attachment arises through the child’s need for protection since feeling safe will be the basis for daring to explore the surrounding world. There is also the affective factor that represents another priority need in human beings and, in attachment, is forged through interaction.
Specifically, regarding the construction of ambivalent or anxious attachment, the root is found in the unavailability or delayed response of the mother or caregiver to the needs and demands (physical and emotional) of the childsuch as not being present while they were injecting (absence at a time of imminent fear).
Consequences of ambivalent attachment
Understanding that in all cases some type of attachment will develop, the ideal is for secure attachment to flow, however, and despite the fact that the majority of the population (around 55%) develops this style, the other types of attachment They also exist and significantly impact the mental health and social development of the individual.
Therefore, a person formed under the characteristics of ambivalent or anxious attachment and who does not enjoy psychological-emotional support will be more likely to become involved in unstable interpersonal relationships and emotional conflicts due to the duality that living in emotional ambivalence represents.
If you want to overcome ambivalent attachment, we recommend this article on .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bowlby, J. (1998). Attachment: Attachment and loss. Barcelona. Paidós.
- Moneta, M. (2014). Attachment and loss: rediscovering John Bowlby. Chilean Journal of Pediatrics. Vol. 85. (3). 265-267.
- Gago, J. (2014). Attachment theory. The link. Basque Navarra School of Family Therapy.