Love songs and romantic movies show us a misconception of what a romantic relationship is. Give everything for the other, leave our goals in the background to put our partner first and even come to think that our life without the other would be nothing.
These ideas are far from a healthy relationship, since they are based on dependency, jealousy and possession. Quite the opposite of what it should actually be. Therefore, in this Psychology-Online article, we want to show the characteristics of healthy love and how to have a healthy relationship.
How to identify a healthy relationship? For a relationship to be healthy and beneficial for both members, it must meet the following requirements:
- Affection and admiration that the members of the couple profess.
- The members of the couple They do not leave their happiness in the hands of the other.
- The trust that they have in each other.
- They know each other good.
- Shows always respect.
- They dialogue about the problems and look for solutions that take both members into account.
- Have their own spaceyour goals and dreams.
- Each one has his own way of being and to think and respect each other.
- They enjoy a good communication.
- They support when they need it.
A healthy relationship is built on these pillars:
love and admiration
We start from the basis that without love there is no relationship to talk about. But also, when we observe a couple who have a healthy relationship, we realize the admiration they profess for each other. Love is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. Passion appears and disappears but love and affection they continue. And admiration is essential. If we don’t admire anything about the other person we will lose interest. That’s why superficial relationships often fail.
Respect
In a healthy relationship, and in life in general, respect for others is essential. It is not necessary to agree with someone on everything to respect them, respect their ideas and choices. This does not mean that we cannot get angry or argue, but we must not lose respect for others, but rather dialogue.
The dialogue
To have a healthy relationship, it is necessary talk about problems that arise in the relationship. As we will see later, the attitude in these conversations is essential, the way in which the message is transmitted and the way of receiving it from the other.
The trust
Trust improves knowledge of others, improves dialogue and gives us security. If there is no trust, jealousy, fear and distance may appear. In the following article you can see.
Freedom and independence
The members of the couple are free and should feel that way. They are to choose to be in the relationship and to make their own decisions. Dependence on a partner or having to ask for permission and approval eliminates freedom and prevents us from being who we are. We must preserve our own spaceour goals, our dreams and our opinions.
How to have a healthy relationship? Below we list 12 keys for a good relationship:
1. Establish some limits
Nowadays there are many types of couples. There are open couples who have relationships with other people outside the couple, there are exclusive ones, there are others who at a certain point in the relationship are willing to make changes, others talk about… Everything is fine if the two members agree and make their decisions. decisions freely. At the beginning of the relationship, you must establish the limits that you are not willing to cross so that the other knows them and takes them into account. And throughout the relationship they can be reviewed and adapted to new stages.
2. Get to know your partner
Know what their character is like, what their concerns are, their goals, etc. Know what you like and what you don’t. What has his childhood been like, what relationship does he have with his family and friends. How you usually react to problems. The more a couple knows each other, the better the communication and relationship in general will be.
3. Common space and own space
In a relationship there must be 3 differentiated spaces: a personal space for each member of the couple, to do what we like or be with other people such as friends or family. It is not necessary to do all things together. And then there must be a common space in which they develop as a couple, spending time together, doing common hobbies and everything that entails the day to day life and life of the couple as such.
4. Freedom
Our couple does not belong to us. It is not an object that we can possess. He is a completely free person who has chosen to be with us and that is how it should be. It is not about making prohibitions but about making every day, of all the people around, choose us.
5. Good communication
The way you communicate is essential. When we want to express something or disagree, it is advisable to use messages me. This is talking about how we feel about the topic at hand. We should not use accusatory messages (“you made me”, “you said”), or put labels (“you are such a guy”), or the words “always” and “never” because it is not usually true. Here you can read more information about .
6. Life projects
It is important to be clear about the couple’s position on issues such as marriage, having children and other important decisions. The members of the couple must walk in the same direction so as not to limit the other’s desires. In case these types of disagreements exist, we recommend you read this article:
7. Jealousy
You have to keep them at bay. Jealousy breaks relationships, it makes us and our partner feel bad. If you have jealousy problems, go to a psychologist because it can be treated. They tend to be product of insecurity and/or low self-esteem.
8. Cultivate your relationship
Relationships must be taken care of. They require time and dedication and a little ingenuity when they become monotonous. Get out of the routine with new ideas. Don’t forget to make your partner feel good, show love and affection, listen to him and support him. Both members of the couple must do this, both of you must give and receive.
9. Ask for forgiveness and forgive
We are not perfect and we make mistakes. Asking for forgiveness is not easy but it is necessary. Just like knowing how to forgive. If you’re struggling, try these.
10. Couples therapy or group therapy
We are used to going to therapy only when things go wrong, but it is interesting to go from time to time to put on the table some problems that may have arisen. Or just to work on some aspect of the relationship. In group couples therapy you learn a lot from other couples and practice activities that strengthen the relationship.
11. Teamwork
A healthy couple works as a team. When one of the members is more down, the other encourages him and lifts him up.
12. Sex
The importance that each couple gives to sex is different. But whether it is more or less important to you, talking about sex naturally and confidently will give you a greater connection and a better understanding. In this article you will find more information about .