Your ex-partner has been an important person in your life, you have both decided to put an end to your love relationship. However, you feel that the other person is trying to recover some type of bond with you, you detect that despite not being a couple anymore, they want you to be part of their life with another role. Many people wonder if that is possible and the truth is that it always depends on each particular case.
Does my ex no longer see me as a couple? Do you want a sincere friendship or are you looking to be my friend to try to get me back? In many cases, it is necessary to evaluate the reasons that may lead one or both of us to seek friendship in the ex-partner. In this Psychology-Online article we want to explain some of the reasons why your ex wants to be your friend according to psychology.
Signs that your ex wants to be your friend
Your ex-partner may be looking for a friendship with you if you detect the following behaviors:
He tells you openly
After the time of mourning has passed, and after , your ex-partner may contact you to tell you that he or she wants to continue maintaining contact as friends and ask you if you agree.
He talks to you to find out how you are
He cares about you but at the same time lets you know that he is okay with the current situation. She explains to you that, even though singleness is what she wanted, she wants to keep contact and good vibes with you, since you have been someone important in his life.
It manifests itself through social networks
The most discreet tactic of all, but which can be a cause of confusion (and a bit like the dog in the manger, who neither eats nor lets eat), is to drop a like or respond to an Instagram story to see if you start a conversation.
Tells you to meet but avoids intimate places
He wants to meet you, that’s how he tells you, but he avoids places that could encourage more intimate encounters. You always meet in a bar and the conversations are fluid, without any intention behind more than just staying in contact with each other.
Why your ex wants to be your friend according to psychology
There are different options why your ex could want to be your friend, we are going to see them below:
Relevance in your life
Very strong bonds are established in a couple. This can lead to the fact that, even though you have made the decision to separate as a couple, the bond created important enough to want to maintain it in another way, that is, as friendship. In this case, your ex may no longer see you as a couple and is looking for a sincere friendship with you.
Culpability
Perhaps the person who made the decision to separate you is your ex-partner, he has seen that you have had a bad time and wants repair the damage created. This leads him to approach you as a friend, with the intention of healing what he has hurt and having a clearer conscience.
Fear to loneliness
Perhaps you and your ex-partner were part of the same environment, the fact that he or she made the decision to break up can affect your relationship with the rest of the group. Before him fear of the emptiness of the rest of the friends and friends try to establish friendship with you so as not to lose the rest either or not have to divide the group.
Hope
Another reason why your ex-partner may want to be your friend is to try to get you back. Perhaps the easiest way to approach you is through the phrase “we can be friends and I don’t want to lose you” but really what he wants is recover the link that he or she had with you before – as a partner – and believes that, if he or she is your friend first and you detect that you can count on him or her for different things in your daily life, you will be able to return. Here we show you and, to help you identify what your situation is.
Is it possible to be friends after a relationship?
Your ex-partner has probably been an important figure in your life, you have probably shared many moments together and losing each other has been a source of pain. Maybe being friends with your ex-partner right after you have left him or her is quite unfeasible, first you have to grieve the separation and if your partner is still by your side with another role it can be complicated.
Despite this fact, after a while of having followed different paths, they can cross paths again in the form of friendship; in the end, your ex-partner is still a person who knows you very well and with which if there is no resentment some, since you both made the decision that you thought you should make and you don’t regret it, you can be good friends.
Is being friends with your ex good?
Everyone’s perception of this question may vary. Be friends with your ex-partner It is good if you have overcome the breakup and are clear on both sides, that the role you occupy now is different. To do this, it is important when faced with this question to ask yourself other questions such as:
- How do I feel about him or her?
- If he told me that he was with someone else, how would that affect me?
- Are there hidden intentions behind this new role?
- Do I regret the decision we made?
- Does your friendship bring me?
If the answers go in the direction of wanting your ex-partner back as a partner, being friends with him or her is not a good idea, if on the contrary you really value the person in your life and that does not prevent you from taking any steps, but it also helps you do so and you can talk about whatever the topic is, having your ex-partner be your friend can be a great success.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Boss, P. (2001). Ambiguous loss: how to learn to live with unfinished grief. Barcelona: gedisa.
- Poch Avellan, C. (2013). Losses and pains. Barcelona: Octadero.
- Riso, W. (2003). To love or depend?: how to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Publisher: Norma.