In most cases we cannot choose who we fall in love with and what characteristics that person has. Why do we fall in love with men older than us? That have mature men How much do we like it? An older man usually has that point of maturity that can attract us a lot, they have more experience and stability, both economically and emotionally (at least, at first glance).
If you are starting a relationship with a man 10, 15 or 20 years older than you, you need to learn a series of tricks to be able to have a good relationship. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to give you all the keys to know how to date an older man.
The first question that comes to mind when we fall in love with a man a few years older than us is “why do I feel so attracted to him?” This question can be resolved from psychology based on different theories. However, it is important to remember that each individual is different and their characteristics can vary greatly regardless of age.
Why am I in love with a man 20 years older than me?
Carl Gustav Jung defined this phenomenon as “” According to this theory, when we are younger we develop a strong emotional bond with our father figure, this being the reason for our happiness. However, if we do not practice detachment and the necessary social skills are not developed, the electra complex can continue into adulthood causing two very curious effects:
- Rivalry with mother
- Unconscious attraction to older men
Today, this theory is quite implausible, and there is no study in psychology that can prove it. What we do know is that dating an older man has its advantages and that is why we are more attracted to the idea of dating them.
Advantages of dating an older man
These are the reasons that current psychology proposes:
- They are people who have had more experiences and they know what they want
- They provide us with a idea of stability (real or not, we must remember that each person is unique and being older does not directly mean being a stable person)
- They may have already had a stable relationship before and know what steps to take to be able to have one. healthy relationship
- They are self-confident people and they know
Although dating someone more mature has its advantages, it is important to keep in mind that these types of relationships are challenging and we must take note of these. 10 tips for knowing how to date an older man and prevent the relationship from taking on a negative dynamic.
1. Be patient
At the same time, it is normal for there to be differences in tastes, hobbies and ideas. This case is more accentuated when there is an age difference of 10 or more years. Therefore, you are going to have to be patient during the first months of your relationship.
2. Avoid power roles
In an unconscious and barely perceptible way, power roles are usually established between women and men. They usually treat us in a more paternalistic way, as if they had a superior role. If you want to date an older man, it is important that you avoid these roles in the relationship dynamic.
3. He can also learn from you
An older man usually thinks that it is his duty to teach you everything he has learned in life. Prove him wrong and teach him everything you’ve learned despite the age difference.
4. Take the initiative
In relation to the previous section, it is important that you also make important decisions in the relationship. You have the right to learn and follow your own path.
5. Make plans adapted to both ages
One of the most visible disadvantages in a relationship of this type is the difference in hobbies. For that same reason, it is important that you use empathy and active listening to be able to choose activities that suit your tastes and theirs.
6. Show him what you like
A relationship of this type is a magnificent opportunity to share your motivations with the person you love. That is why you can reserve a day to share one of your favorite hobbies with your partner.
7. Get out of your routine often
One of the risks we run when dating an older man is that he may be less motivated to do new activities. For that same reason, it is recommended that you be the one who decides to get out of the routine with getaways, games, surprises…
8. Listen to their concerns
Your partner also has concerns despite having had many experiences. A good trick to knowing how to date an older man is knowing how to listen and understand what’s going on in his head.
9. Help him get out of the comfort zone
It is important that your partner does not establish himself in the role of the “older” person either since that is a risk for his motivations. Help him make risky decisions and offer him that blow of fresh air that maybe you need.
10. Practice communication every day
Finally, a good one should not be missing. Whatever your relationship, it is important that you dedicate part of the day to listening and communicating your concerns to your partner.
Have you taken note of all the tricks to know how to date an older man? Now you can put them into practice and see how it can improve your relationship.