Have you ever wondered why you repeat experiences or patterns of failure with your couples? From discomforts, discussions and conflicts? Sometimes it has been so much that you have even come to believe that you have bad luck, that the ideal person for you does not exist or that you have to put up with what you do not like to be happy. It is there when it becomes vitally important to realize that we attract these painful relationships because of not knowing how to relate to ourselves in a healthy and coherent way. Only when we take responsibility for our own emotions, instead of blaming the other, is when we can reverse the projection that we make in the couple to heal in me what I have not been able to see and that hurts and makes me suffer.
Relationships have their reason for being. The couple is the mirror that reflects to us everything that we cannot see about ourselves; with the aim that we become aware of what we cannot see that is in us, in order to contemplate and accept ourselves without shame or guilt. To relate, we choose the people with whom we complement ourselves. The couple is your great teacher of self-knowledge. Always ask yourself who do I want to be in this shared experience with my partner?
In appearance the couple may be the opposite of me, but in reality we complement each other. We “marry” the person who has the aspects we have refused to develop. In most cases, the person we love has the features of our shadow, of what we have not been able to see in ourselves. We fall in love for what we are not aware of as much as for what we are aware of. Therefore, the couple’s relationship is a great means for self-knowledge and self-learning; to heal all those aspects that I don’t like about myself (which are in the unconscious) and that my partner is the perfect mirror where I can see them reflected.
In order to have and maintain a healthy, wise, coherent and full relationship, we must get rid of guilt and fear. Put aside the belief that without the other “I am not or I do not have” and that the great catastrophe is abandonment. Fear seeks relationships where fear itself is the link and thus we remain united more than by love, by the belief of need and scarcity that we live and attract.
Ask yourself: What annoys you the most about your partner or the partners you’ve had? You will be surprised to realize that very often the victim is united with the victimizer, the messy with the orderly, the introvert with the extrovert, the controller with the carefree…
Jung said: “the universe does not judge us; it only provides us with consequences, lessons and opportunities to balance and learn through the law of cause and effect». Compassion is born from the recognition that each of us is doing as well as he can, within the limits of our beliefs and abilities. As we think, so we will perceive. Let’s stop being beggars of love, heal our relationships and become sources of compassionate, authentic and abundant love for ourselves and for others.
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sterility – infertility