We all make mistakes and you learn from mistakes. Depending on the attitude we adopt towards mistakes, they can become obstacles or be experienced as opportunities. Admitting and learning from our mistakes allows us to enter a growth spiral.
On this occasion, Enric Corbera explains that when a situation makes us feel uneasy, we can reject it, experience it as a victim or accept it. When we accept what happens, every mistake becomes an opportunity to learn and improve.
In this video, Enric Corbera exposes the benefits of learning to forgive ourselves when we feel that we have made a mistake. Forgiveness is key to transcending the difficulties we experience and to learning from mistakes.
What do you think about yourself, about yourself, when you’re wrong? Are you embarrassed when other people see you fail? What is the true nature of the error and what happens in our mind when we perceive it?
You learn from mistakes and the feelings that come with it
Shame is usually defined as a “feeling of loss of dignity caused by a mistake committed or by a humiliation or insult received”. Also, we can describe it as a social emotionsince it is something we feel in relation to other people.
“Shame is the recognition that we are the object of an Other who looks at us and judges”
Jean Paul Sartre
To understand the true nature of this feeling, we must understand that it is not others who make us feel observed and judged or recognized and accepted, but shame is a feeling related to perception that each person has from the gaze of the other.
It is the look of others that activates shame, as a defense attempt, but the origin is within us. At some point we have learned that staying still, making ourselves small and invisible, is better than exposing ourselves.
Sure enough, this Defense mechanism It has a lot to do with our history:
How have you been educated about the mistake?
How important was your opinion?
How was mistake handled in your home?
What looks did you receive?
How did the adults react when a mistake was made?
The difference between having a fragile ego and a well-structured ego is in the looks received in childhood: It is the difference between a look that accepts, calms and welcomes another that judges, humiliates and rejects.
A fragile ego can prevent us from learning from mistakes
We could not understand shame without understanding and to what extent we live trapped by it. A simple resource to calculate how long we live from the ego is to observe how much shame, our own or that of others, we habitually experience.
A feeling of excessive shame, denotes a fragile ego that perceives mistakes as threats. For these people, the error has a negative connotation that was burned into their minds during their first years of life.
For people with a strong and well-structured egoOn the contrary, the error does not represent a danger from which they need to defend themselves, but rather they perceive it as something inevitable that always offers a possibility of improvement. This people they also feel ashamed, but they know how to handle it in a way that is empowering.
Unlearning allows us to transform mistakes into learning
Regardless of what happened in our childhood, of our life experiences and learning, as adults we can make changes at a deep level.
Understanding the origin of our way of understanding our experiences and, little by little, “undoing” these beliefs, allows us to transform what we considered mistakes into new learning. We call this .
“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”
James Joyce
From mistakes you learn thanks to feelings
We all have some memory that even today makes us blush when we bring it to our present; some situation that still makes us feel uncomfortable and embarrassed no matter how long it has been since it happened.
This sensation is inherent in the human condition and, like everything we are and experience, It is an opportunity for new .
Mistakes are both instruments and obstacles. Admit that you learn from mistakes It allows us to enhance our growth process.
Understanding that you learn from mistakes, as the saying goes, makes us human, makes us real and honest.
There are many authors who, as a habit of life, recommend always be the worst at something. That is, when you think you’ve mastered everything you do, start doing something you’ve never done before.
Be the newest student of something, whatever. All your life and Keep making mistakes, keep acknowledging your humanity.
“Whoever does not make mistakes is a being who does not know how to live, he is a being stagnant in life. Only those who try to be better, live better and learn more, make mistakes. From each error a positive lesson is drawn, each error is a lesson that allows us to move forward”.
Norman Vincent Peale
Learn to be tolerant with your mistake and you will start to be tolerant of the mistakes of others. There are few more helpful guidelines for .
No mistake is sterile, all offer an opportunity for growth
Wanting to avoid mistakes makes us travel a path full of limits where the fear of failure can paralyze our progress. Jung said that “knowledge rests not only on truth but also on error”.
We don’t know what form the lessons we need will take, who our greatest allies will be, or what situations will make us discover our gifts.
Life expresses itself far beyond our expectations. Instead of reducing the entire universe to the size of our psyche, let’s try to adapt our psyche to discover the infinite reality that is spread out before us.
Serendipity: when a mistake becomes a great discovery
The great teachers are the ones who know take risks and try different ways of being wrong until you achieve excellence.
It is this attitude that made it possible for the Swiss Georges de Mestral came back from a hiking trail with his pants full of stuck seeds and created the velcroand that Spencer Silver failed in his attempt to create a powerful glue and ended up inventing the post it.
The microwave, Teflon, fireworks, sweeteners, and the best known of all, Fleming and the discovery of penicillin, are excellent examples of serendipity: findings produced thanks to the ability to learn from mistakes.
In reality they are not “children of error”, They are not the result of mistakes. These circumstances alone would not have led to these discoveries without the proper attitude.
They are the result of the work of people whose conscience allowed them to egoicflexible minds that knew understand their mistakes as another way of learning.
This ability is available to everyone. Think about the “mistakes” you have made in your life, discover the learning, the true value of what you think was uselessand begin to integrate the teachings of what until now you did not know how to take advantage of for your .
You learn from mistakes and Bioneuroemoción®
Bioneuroemotion proposes learn to unlearn through thanks to all the information that we can observe in the situations in which we consider that we have made a mistake and that cause us shame or discomfort.
What drives our growth and promotes our well-being is not everything we know, but our
Life is generous, it continually offers us learning at every step we take. What causes us to delay our development is not the lack of opportunities, but our resistance to admit our mistakes.
Every justification, every excuse we make, every shame we feed, are that, whether we recognize it or not, we need to continue growing and maturing emotionally.
“Luck only favors prepared minds.”
louis pasteur
Welcome your mistake, make decisions, calm your judgment and realize that our path is determined by the steps we have left to takenot the ones we have given so far.
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