In this article we will see what is behind the fear of commitment in a relationship, how to identify its symptoms and the importance of recognizing the linked to this concept that prevent manifesting a healthy.
In this episode of Enric Más Cerca we reflect on the reasons why not finding a partner is experienced as a conflict and how we can free ourselves from this limitation to create healthy romantic relationships.
In this direct David Corbera explains what causes the fear of committing to a romantic relationship, as well as the benefits of learning to build a lasting bond.
If you want to know more about the la method and how to apply it in your life to increase your emotional well-being, follow our social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Youtube.
How to identify the symptoms of fear of commitment
Do you enjoy your current relationship but you are terrified of creating long-term plans because you are not sure that it is “”? Do you want to manifest a healthy relationship but are afraid of losing your autonomy by committing to a partner? Do you feel the need to flee every time you go through a conflict with the person you are meeting? Or do you maintain a , “no title” And do you accept things that you don’t like just for fear of losing it?
The fear of commitment It has many faces, however they all have something in common: the avoid taking responsibility for the other for fear of suffering.
This fear is the result of our internal state, not external circumstances. and, therefore, we can experience it whether we are alone or as a couple.
Romantic love and the fear of committed relationships
In an individualistic society, where the immediate, disposable and volatile prevail, human ties lose strength and are characterized by a low level of affective involvement.
Romantic love in postmodern society was defined by Bauman (1999) as “liquid”, alluding to the fragility that characterizes love. impersonal bonds that are built on superficialities and appearances. is usually the most classical way of defining the no compromise.
But, what is commitment? In order to understand why – or for what – we fear commitment, it is first necessary review what is meant by such.
Commitment in the couple: definition
From unity consciousness we say that commitment is an abstract concept that means nothing in itself.
behind this word each one has built a story with which they give meaning to the term; story that will be founded on past experiencesconscious and unconscious, own, and the social collective.
“There is no fear of the unknown. What we fear is only change. The cessation of the known”
Krishnamurti
So, each person understands and experiences commitment in a unique way. Thus, women and men who do not want commitment perceive it, consciously or unconsciously, as something that harms them in some way. That is, they house which make them perceive this state as undesirable.
culture and commitment
The human being is a social animal. needs interaction to develop. And the way in which he relates to his peers has evolved over time.
Commitment: the origin of a concept
The need for was from the beginning a matter of survival and evolution of the species.
Over time, it became an obligation imposed by the social environment based on absolute assumptions created by dominant dogmas (mainly religions).
Says the Bible:
“Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one body. So it’s not two anymore, it’s just one. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”, Matthew 19:4-6.
At some point in history, the concept of commitment became synonymous with monogamy, sexual exclusivity, the total giving of “oneself” to another(in other words, the loss of individuality) and the obligation to have to keep it forever.
The mutation of the bond in a couple, the leap to the opposite polarity
“You can take away a man’s gods, but only to give him others in exchange”,
Carl Jung.
That was what happened at the end of the last century during the heyday of the capitalist system, when mercantilist value displaced and replaced all religious narratives, conquering and resignifying each sphere of human reality.
Consequently, being in a relationship was a matter of convenience. Something that is sought, found, owned, used and, when it is no longer useful, is discarded.
«We are in the middle of the packaging culture. The marriage contract matters more than love, the funeral more than the dead, the clothes more than the body, and the mass more than God.»
Eduardo Galeano
Fear of commitment in relationships: the crisis as a solution
The previous eras laid the foundations of the way in which commitment as a couple is conceived today: the demand for the abandonment of individuality, the risk of losing freedom and a threat to suffer the eternal.
Women and men afraid of commitment today
to that one – or the parents of our parents – we have seen it fail, we have seen it break, we have seen it hurt.
Partly, that is why today there is this fear and there are so many people who do not want commitment. This explains why we often run away from it by inventing hundreds of excuses so complex that they even make sense to us.
At least if we become aware of the fear that commitment causes us, we will have the certainty that we are on the right path. Why fear is always the way A call for the need for change.
The concept of commitment is in crisis, and fortunately,
Unlearn to grow as a couple, the path to love
Changing perception to transcend fear of relationships
The crisis are abrupt breaks, climax points where what it was It already bothers us too much to continue supporting it, and this makes us .
From the consciousness of unity, we understand that crises give us the opportunity to remember that what we call “reality” is nothing more than the own interpretation of what happens in our life.
So the way we perceive what happens to us It’s just one of a thousand ways of seeing the world.
If we are able to understand the , we will understand that we have the responsibility to stop rejecting the commitment as a couple as it has been understood up to now, in order to be able to encourage us to experience it through one, form and essence.
Each of us individually and all of us as a collective have not only the possibility, but also any concept that is linked to an experience of pain, since the only purpose of life should be to create and live from and for love.
Overcoming the fear of commitment in the couple through the Bioneuroemotion method
Self-inquiry and questioning of our It is the starting point for personal transformation that allows us to establish healthy and beneficial relationships.
Questioning our “truths” understanding their origin is liberating because it allows us to understand that we are the cause and not the result of our circumstances. Doubt enables awareness and this allows the change that leads to evolution.
Resignify what has been learned It is not an easy task, but the live avoiding the blessing of being able to grow up with someone for fear of repeating stories ours or our ancestors, will not free us from condemnation.
The only real liberation is to transcend the fear of commitment.
By opening yourself up to the possibility of experiencing a committed relationship, you will not only bring into your life the gratification of having overcome a fearbut through this
We know that this is not an easy path, but it is the only one that leads to the . The method of offers the tools and guidance you need to move forward with confidence and security.
And you, will you continue to use fear as an excuse or will you turn it into motivation to create a better version of yourself?
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