Hi, I’m a teenager who turned 14 a few days ago, so I may still have the mentality of a 13-year-old.
I don’t trust anyone but I don’t really know why, sometimes I tell myself that since other people have friends I will be a problem or sometimes when I have a problem I don’t have enough confidence to be able to vent, even in a serious situation like the time I My father tried to kick me out of the house and I wanted to vent to someone. I was very lucky to be able to ask a person where they would go to live if their parents kicked them out of the house (At that time I was around 12 years old so I don’t know how I would react. today)
Most of my conversations with people are more about listening and I can notice a lack of interest if they talk about me (I don’t do this a lot, maybe once every 20 times? hehe) and in the only person I I trusted, I realized that I was more childish than I thought and I couldn’t be his shoulder either. How should I put it? She only listened to me but she was also uninterested and she couldn’t give me advice or even be a support for me either, you know? Maybe a shoulder? and I couldn’t support her either, I even told her that if she wanted she could write in notes and then delete it in case she didn’t want anyone to find out, she made a lot of excuses for me, she even said that that was for faggots, so that’s it! When I thought about it! and I realized that I couldn’t trust her because she wasn’t what I idealized, we weren’t really friends, she was just someone who listened to me and well about that it was really easy for me to move on to the next page, I say the same day I told her that I didn’t want to be his friend, I didn’t give the matter any more thought and I stopped thinking about this person completely. But hey! Doesn’t it serve as a life lesson for me? It was my fault for idealizing so much that I couldn’t see who he really was.
I think I’ve lived alone for so long that I got used to dealing with my problems alone but sometimes I want to trust people. I say for me a friend is someone who will not betray you (talk bad behind your back, see you as an option instead of seeing you as a person, etc.), whom you trust, someone who can listen to you and advise you (not in the same way). that generates dependency, but in the way that shows you what you really want to do and realize how stupid some things you want to do can be (by this I mean things that can harm yourself) and your You can support and advise him too. I also want to have a friend who is positive not negative, who helps me improve day by day.
But who would think it? Currently I don’t trust anyone and I continue with my regular lifestyle. If I have a problem I deal with it alone and I vent through different types of life diaries, I don’t know. I am already 14 years old and it is incredible that the only friendship I can say I have had was a toxic one (This person is a totally different person from the one previously mentioned). I really feel that I have a trust problem but even with the above said I cannot determine why it really is.
I know it may have been a little annoying to hear a 14-year-old girl whine? years, I really feel that I still cannot consider that my mentality is that of someone who is 14 years old when just a few days ago I turned them, I think it is more like that of someone who is 13 years old.