He school rejection It causes a lot of suffering not only for those affected, but also for the parents. If your child goes through a situation of this type, he tries to remain calm so as not to increase alarmism about the situation. Friendship is a vital ingredient of child and adolescent development. However, at this stage of life, social groups are also vulnerable to sudden changes in the attitude of gang or class members. Maybe your child has asked you on some occasion: “Why doesn’t anyone talk to me at school?“. At Psychology-Online we help you face the situation with a positive perspective without falling into alarmism.
Reasons why no one talks to you at school
In a situation of this type, different factors intervene, which we will analyze below:
- The attitude of the aggressor and the silence of the environment that gives him strength. The aggressor’s own behavior usually shows a superiority complex, however, to understand the aggressor’s attitude it is also important to delve deeper into his own family environment, which very often refers to an unstructured system.
- Size of the school center. The larger an academic center is, the more likely it is that a case of this type will occur.
- Lack of authority of teachers. Something that can not only be motivated by the teacher’s own pedagogical experience, but also by the current social context in which the figure of the teacher does not have the recognition it deserves. This lack of authority leads to the problem not being solved from the first warning signs.
- Lack of selfesteem. Although it may seem contradictory, whoever initiates the situation of indifference and isolation undervalues the victim in front of others based on his own self-concept. This is one of the reasons why to prevent situations of this type it is essential to train children in emotional intelligence.
- Jealousy and envy. Feelings that lead to rejection when children observe in others something that they would like to have themselves.
- Underestimate the situation In its initial phase it leads to its worsening. What could have been an isolated event becomes a larger problem.
How to act when no one talks to your child at school
- Listen to your child, without downplaying what happens to him. Understand your pain and your concern about what you are going through. However, don’t fall into alarmism either. Listen to him and show him your understanding.
- try to find out what’s going on in the school environment. In addition to listening to the child, it is also recommended that you talk to his guardian. And, also, if you trust other parents of other children in the class, talk to them about the topic in person. Trust those parents with whom you have a good relationship so far and who inspire confidence in you.
- Use pedagogical resources. For example, select books and movies that deal with bullying as useful vehicles to convey an empathetic message to the child.
- Share your experiences children with your child. Remember and share with him a similar anecdote from the past that you yourself experienced, since in this way, he will feel closer to you.
- Promotes the social ties outside of school. If the child has difficulties in personal relationships with other children his age, encourage social encounters in other environments, for example, music school, sports classes, crafts workshop… In these spaces, the child will meet others companions.
- make notes of those situations or anecdotes that he describes (don’t do it in his presence). In this way, you avoid forgetting important details that may be especially significant when you share this information with a child psychologist if, finally, the situation requires it. Furthermore, given the emotional impact of the moment, you may forget some details. For this reason, these notes can help you gain objectivity in the situation.
Analyze the situation without the perspective of guilt
A child may wonder why no one talks to him at school. This is a question that is asked in a logical and natural way by those who suffer from this situation, as it is often connected with the feeling of guilt. When a person experiences a situation of group indifference, they indirectly experience a damage to your self-esteem which leads her to doubt herself. Especially when it comes to a stage of development and evolution like childhood or adolescence.
The situation becomes significant when this indifference is frequent, that is, when the student perceives this isolation in a recurring way. Since this stage of life is also defined by the position of anger that leads to indifference but lasts a short time and is accompanied by a subsequent reunion.
Nothing justifies that no one talks to a person at school. This is one of the reasons why it is advisable to change the question “why” to “what to do from now on”. If you are a student who suffers from this situation, tell someone you trust. Talk to a teacher or your parents. It is important that you communicate this fact to an adult because they will help you. And if you are a father or mother who suffers from this situation, talk to the guardian. If the conversation with the tutor does not offer results, talk to the head of studies or the director of the center.
Why is it important to have these conversations? Because through this interaction, it is possible to better understand the context of the situation since there are many variables that have generated this panorama of indifference. Thus, the question: “Why doesn’t anyone talk to me at school?” It acquires greater meaning when appealing to third parties.
How to solve a case of personal isolation at school
The school is a system. What happens inside that system affects all members of the group. For this reason, when a person suffers indifference from others, the solution to the conflict involves involving all members of the group in a change of attitude. And parents and teachers can generate a great positive influence.
For this reason, it is recommended that schools have an action protocol to respond to these types of situations, without waiting until they occur. That is, it is advisable to adopt a proactive and not a reactive attitude. At the same time, it is advisable to train students in prevention of bullying, for example, it is advisable give talks on this topic.
It is advisable to avoid positioning the person affected by this situation in the role of victim so that, with the necessary support, they can regain confidence in themselves as a protagonist.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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