Each situation has its own characteristics, for this reason, it is recommended that you enhance your own introspection to find your own answer. What factors can influence this emotional perception?
personal insecurity
In many cases, this feeling of shame does not refer to possible deficiencies in the family environment but to the own insecurity of those who project their own fear of not receiving social acceptance around them. In this way, a person who worries excessively about what others think usually gives excessive importance to the opinion that others may have about their own family.
The protagonist may feel insecure when attending a social event with his family because he is distressed by the first impression his family may make on others.
In this type of situation, when the feeling of shame arises from one’s own insecurity, the person also suffers a constant internal struggle between an ideal concept of family built in his mind, and reality itself. The protagonist may idealize the family environment of someone close to him and compare his own family from a position of inferiority in relation to some qualities.
Observe flaws and negative aspects
When a person constantly focuses on the weak points of their loved ones, they end up developing a feeling of rejection towards those people who do not meet their own expectations. In reality, the conflict lies in the fact that the protagonist does not accept his family as they are, and wants to change some of his behavior. The feeling of shame is a direct consequence of this lack of unconditional acceptance. In this other article we tell you.
When a child observes his parents and close relatives, he truly admires them. He observes his familiar reality from a prism of absolute perfection. However, within the process of maturity, the adult experiences a break with that previous image and observes those parents whom he had previously idealized from a more human level. He knows his flaws. Those children who do not accept this fact and expect constant perfection may feel ashamed when They observe their family from their own prejudices.
They still treat you like a child
This is a possible situation. You love your family very much, in turn, you also feel loved by them, however, in many moments you miss them. respect your own space and understand that you have your own life. That is, you feel that you are being infantilized and this makes you feel ridiculous when these overprotective gestures occur in public.
At that moment, you feel ashamed, simply because you are treated like a child even though you are already an adult. And you consider this situation to be totally out of context because as an adult you aspire to a bond as equals.
Natural process of adolescence
Adolescence shows a new reality personal of the young person who, from his position, feels more identified with his group of friends who give him the value of belonging, than with his family. In this way, the adolescent may feel shame in everyday situations that he experienced completely naturally in childhood. For example, if his parents come to pick him up after school, he may not react with the same joy as before.
This feeling is totally natural since the adolescent is at a moment in his life in which he is forming his own identity, and therefore, he is looking for his own place in the world. At this stage, it is common for young people to prefer leisure plans with friends, and participate in fewer family activities. At this stage, parents represent that authority figure who establishes limits and rules for one’s own personal desires.
Adolescence is one of the stages of life in which young people are most vulnerable to social stereotypes and group opinion. For this reason, they are not only concerned about their own image, but also the image that their family offers to those around them.
There is an important nuance in any of the cases described above. Generally, a person who is ashamed of his or her family suffers this feeling in the public sphere, not in the private sphere.