He rejection refers to the action that one person performs on another to deliberately excluding him from a social act or event. This rejection is marked by interpersonal rejection that mentions peer groups and romantic rejection. Rejection can be passive through the behavior of ignore another or give them silent treatment or active rejection that is exercised by ridiculing the other person.
Being a social being, it is normal for human beings to go through situations of rejection, since it is a situation that is part of the life of any human being. However, the situation becomes complicated when these acts of rejection are prolonged, consistent and repetitive in a person, also when it occurs under an important relationship and when the individual is susceptible and can have consequences for their mental health. The consequences can range from social isolation to depression.
Whoever has gone through a rejection event in their life begins an unconscious process of creating a protective mask or armor to protect their feelings and emotions in the face of an event of contempt on the part of another person, generating an anticipatory action of escape.
If in childhood the event of rejection is generated, in adulthood perfection will be sought at all costs over the behavior of others, which will lead to what is difficult to satisfy.
Emotional relationships are not always lived in a pleasant way, especially when they are not reciprocated. The fact of feeling ignored or rejected in love causes a series of emotional damages in human beings. that affect their psychological and emotional stability in one way or another.
The psychologist Winch, R. (sf) cited by (Jiménez, M. 2014) has identified consequences that appear after having experienced a type of romantic rejection, among them is the pain experienced in the brain. Rejection, neurologically speaking, is experienced with pain, and the human brain responds identically to contempt and physical pain.
Evolutionary psychologists start from the relationship between rejection and physical pain in the historical past of human beings, when they were hunters and gatherers, they were condemned to ostracism (in ancient Greece, exile to which citizens who were considered suspicious or dangerous to the city) was equivalent to a death sentence because it was almost impossible to survive being alone. It is considered that the human brain has developed a warning system to warn when it is at risk of ostracism. Those who experienced the most pain when faced with the risk of marginalization showed better evolution and adaptation, since they had the ability to identify their attitude and correct it.
It is totally natural to respond through pain to loving rejection. and even self-blame and feel emotionally unstable due to this behavior generated by others. Rejection can occur for various reasons, each case is unique and individual where mental health specialists study, evaluate and assist.
Why does a woman or man reject you and then seek you out? Below, 4 reasons for rejection will be presented:
1. Fear
The fear of being in an emotional relationship may be framed by a past composed of romantic or emotional rejection, which leads the person to have temporary relationships to avoid the commitment that an emotional relationship implies. This fear can transform and reach an irrational fear, so-called, which refers to avoiding all types of interpersonal relationships, being emotional ones, with co-workers, friends, family and others. Being in love can be an incredible experience for any human being, except for people who have philophobia, since this sensation can cause anxiety, emotional and physical stress.
On the other hand, some people’s fear that involves being in an emotional relationship may be characterized by fear of commitment, or the fact of repeating emotional situations from the past, with rejection being the most observed in psychological consultations. It is a warning mechanism that puts human beings in a state of perceived danger, whether present, past or future, causing anxiety and emotional instability.
2. Low self-esteem
The or lack of esteem refers to a perception of oneself that lacks value, talent and not having an objective judgment of who one is. This is why self-esteem is the set of perceptions, evaluations and ideas that one has of oneself, on which self-confidence, self-love, security and the fact of being recognized and valued by oneself and by others are based. others.
Esteem is built throughout life, fluctuating, but its bases are found in childhood and adolescence through parental relationships and, later, with peer groups.
People with low self-esteem have acceptance conflicts with themselves and with others, they do not respect themselves and hardly respect others. A person with low self-esteem tends to be very multifaceted, to distance himself from other people or only seek benefits for himself, trying to fill a void that only they must fulfill through acceptance, security and trust.
3. Personal conflicts
Conflict is part of human life, man is constantly immersed in personal, work or family matters. Even making a decision can involve a personal conflict in who must make a choice.
As social beings, human beings constantly interact with other people, and through that interaction conflicts of greater or lesser intensity or severity frequently arise. It usually causes discomfort, nervousness and can transform into symptoms of anxiety. In this situation, the person may make decisions that are not the most appropriate, moving away from another with whom he had an emotional relationship.
Conflicts can present themselves in a real or unreal way. Real mentions differences of some kind, whether objectionable or sustainable, which have been addressed but have not been resolved. The unreal type are based on misunderstandings resulting from a wrong interpretation, often based on fears resulting from past emotional relationships.
4. Other interests
There are relationships that are based on the search for physical and sexual pleasure. These types of relationships are based exclusively on sex and sometimes the rules of the game are not made clear.
You may be in a relationship based exclusively on sexual pleasure. and it is not clear about the type of emotional situation in which one is immersed, bringing unknowns, uncertainties and misunderstandings. This is why communication is the best tool to know what emotional situation you are getting involved in. There are no definitive rules in a relationship, sometimes the feeling can be stronger than the passion or vice versa.
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What should you do when a man or woman rejects you? Rejection does not always have to be carried out from pain, you must learn to train yourself to adapt to new situations.
- Knowing yourself and analyze the situation that has been experienced without falling into reproach or feelings of guilt.
- Communication is and will be the best tool so that you put into context what has happened and know the causes of the rejection behavior exercised by the other person.
- It is important to analyze the opportunities that arise, to learn how to manage your own emotions and transform into more conscious and mature people. In this article we explain.
- It is also important to know what you want and respect oneself by not staying in a place where one is being harmed or you are not receiving the relationship you need. Here you will find information about.
It is important to highlight that if this situation has generated changes in your lifestyle, emotions and has affected your psychological functioning, you should go to a specialist to address the needs you are experiencing from a professional and scientific point of view. As mentioned above, it is to analyze the context of why the rejection occurred and how that situation was transformed, either into an opportunity to analyze one’s own emotions and continue to strengthen, or quite the opposite, it has generated a situation of alteration in your life that must receive the help of a specialist.