Constant fights and arguments can be stressful and call into question the stability and future of the relationship. Furthermore, they often reveal underlying differences or problems. When arguments escalate, finding space to reduce tension is usually a good strategy. The problem worsens when one of the members of the couple forces the other to leave the home. What should I do if my partner kicks me out of the house when we argue?
In this Psychology-Online article, we explain What to do if your partner kicks you out of the house when you argue, What to say in this type of situation and the consequences that this can have for the relationship or the people involved, such as your children.
Here are some tips to know what to do if your partner kicks you out of the house when you argue:
- Resume the conversation later: In these cases, it may be useful to spend the night in separate bedrooms or rooms to recover the conversation when you are more receptive. However, your partner cannot force you to leave your home without it being an agreed decision, especially if the argument occurs at night and you have nowhere to go.
- Take steps to protect yourself: This may include seeking shelter in a safe place, reaching out to friends and family for support, and involving authorities. Kicking your partner out of the house can be very dangerous, especially if it occurs as a result of a situation of violence or abuse in the relationship.
- Try to understand what is happening: In these cases it is important to take a step back and try to understand why this is happening. Is there a pattern to the discussions that could be contributing to this situation? Is your partner showing signs of violence or abuse? Is your partner overreacting or are you doing something to aggravate the situation? Is your partner scared and trying to protect himself or wants to punish you?
- Break up the relationship: If every argument turns into a shouting match in which your partner demands that you leave the home, seriously consider leaving the relationship, or at least giving him an ultimatum that, unless you admit that there is a problem in the relationship and you are willing to work together to solve it, the relationship is not going to work.
First of all, you must be clear that neither you nor anyone else should endure this situation. For this reason, if this is not the first time it has happened and it seems to have no end, you should start asking yourself why you stay in the relationship and if you need professional help to get out.
Vulnerability, empathy and emotional responsibility are crucial aspects in all relationships, especially romantic ones. However, in the heat of an argument it can be difficult to stay calm and you may sometimes lose your temper, but there are red lines related to respect and treating your partner with dignity that can never be crossed. When respect for your partner is lost, the relationship becomes destructive.
Poor communication between couples prevents conflicts from being channeled appropriately. The problem is aggravated when language that is often coarse and coercive is used. For this reason, when your partner kicks you out of the house it is important try to stay calm and handle the situation as thoughtfully and effectively as possible.
Some things you can say include:
- “We are both upset right now, can we resume this conversation at a less tense time?”
- “I understand your anger but it cannot be a unilateral decision. My opinion is important in where I am going to spend tonight.”
- “We need space to not say or do anything we might regret later, but it’s important to make sure I can go somewhere safe and secure. Is there someone I can call for help or somewhere I can go temporarily?” .
- “I am concerned about how this will affect our children. Can we work together to minimize any negative impact on them?”
It is important to remember that There is no perfect answer for all situations. and you may need to adapt your response depending on the specific situation. The most important thing is to try to stay calm and seek help and support from family, friends and professionals if necessary.
Kicking your partner out of the house can have many consequences, depending on the specific situation and the deterioration of the relationship. Some possible consequences include:
1. Emotional and psychological consequences
Firstly, the person who suffers from this situation may see their coping strategies overwhelmed and suffer psychological damage and emotional consequences, which will often require professional help. The psychological damage related to the event can manifest itself in the form of clinical symptoms such as high stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem deficits, irritability, loss of sexual desire, feelings of guilt, neglect of one’s physical appearance or social isolation.
Another form of expression of psychological damage is the adoption of harmful coping strategies, such as resorting to self-medication or addiction, an unhealthy relationship with food, or engaging in risky behaviors.
2. Establishment of a toxic dynamic in the relationship
Forcing a partner to leave the house when there is a disagreement or argument can result in a form of control towards the partner. This dynamic is harmful because it entails the person’s obedience and, frequently, originates from feeling legitimate to carry out this type of impositions. Kicking your partner out of the house becomes an extremely effective and quick way to get your way.
At the same time, the submission of the person who leaves can also be consolidated because accepting this imposition prevents the argument with his or her partner from escalating.
3. Deterioration and breakdown of the relationship
From criticism to contempt is only one step, and contempt is the poison that kills relationships. Arguing is not bad. The bad thing is when respect for the other is lost and discussions are loaded with criticism, sarcasm or insults, without sincere repentance.
In a dysfunctional relationship there is a gradual loss of affection and communicationfriction or outbursts arise frequently and the desire to put an end to it begins to gain strength.
4. Legal conflicts
If both members of the couple have ownership rights to the house, legal conflicts may arise that must be resolved. For example, if one partner is kicked out of the house and has nowhere else to go, you might decide to take legal action.
If you both have equal property rights, it is necessary to resolve how the assets will be divided and how the property will be managed in the future to avoid problems.
5. Financial stress and economic problems
On the other hand, forcing a person to leave their home can have a negative impact and financial consequences for that personespecially if you don’t have a place to go or if you have to pay for an additional living space.
If the person has to pay temporary rent while they resolve their situation, it can cause financial stress and result in long-term economic problems.
6. Impact on children
Finally, if the couple has children, kicking their father or mother out of the house can have detrimental effects on them. The fact that children are present in marital conflicts and witness how one of their parents throws the other out of the house can be a stressful experience for them, which can lead to health problems and depression.
Also can develop behavioral problems, reacting with problematic behaviors such as aggression or protest behavior. In turn, this situation may end up affecting their school performance, as they may be distracted or distressed and may experience difficulties establishing and maintaining healthy relationships in the future if they have been exposed to a toxic or destructive relationship between their parents.
It is important to consider how the decision to kick your partner out of the home will affect the children and look for ways to minimize any negative impact on them. Children are often the biggest victims of conflict within a couple and it is important to remember that It is not your responsibility what happens between your parents.. It is the parents who must ensure the emotional well-being of their children.