Having your child hit and not defending himself is undoubtedly a situation that causes great helplessness in us parents. Seeing him suffer without being able to intervene directly in such an unfortunate situation and remedy it is difficult to manage. Although it is very painful to feel that your child is being attacked, we do not want to teach him to defend himself with violence, as it would mean applying the same currency that he has been a victim of and would generate more than suffering and pain. So what can we do in these cases?
The best tool to avoid abuse and bullying during childhood is to provide our child with the personal skills and tools to defend themselves from these possible situations, without using unjustified violence. In this Psychology-Online article, we explain What to do if my son gets hit and doesn’t defend himself. We give you 10 tips to give you inner strength to face this situation decisively.
Offer comfort and support
The most important thing after going through this unpleasant experience is offer comfort and support to our child and make him strongly understand that he is not alone and that, whatever the case, this situation will be resolved. That our child feels supported and protected by us is a fundamental step that, in itself, strengthens him internally to motivate him to positively resolve the abuse situation.
Help you become aware of the situation
After showing him that he is not alone and that we will be on his side at all times, whatever happens in his life, it will be important help you become aware of the sensitivity of the situation and the inconvenience of being paralyzed by the abuse suffered.
Make him aware that, although he should not respond with violence, he must act to not allow this situation to be repeated, that part of this solution is in his hand, it will also be another resource of internal strengthening for the definitive resolution of the problem. situation.
Investigate possible reasons for abuse
Another important tool to end such abuse is investigate the possible reasons that may lead the aggressor to act this way about our son. This investigation involves both knowing the aggressor and his possible reasons for aggression and knowing what current situation our child is experiencing, at a psycho-emotional, school, social level, etc. to understand why he is being a victim of aggression and why he is not defending himself.
Knowing the contexts of the two people involved, our son as a victim and the aggressor, will give us many clues about what is really happening and will help us resolve it more efficiently.
Transmit calm and confidence
Transmit calm and confidence to our child and the feeling that everything is going to turn out well is a task to carry out in situations like the one described throughout this article.
If he is allowing himself to be attacked without defending himself, he may not be going through a good time, so getting him to reach a state of general calm and confidence will be a good part of solving the problem.
Practice assertiveness
Another efficient strategy against any type of abuse is practice assertivenesswhich allows us to communicate in a peaceful and respectful manner towards others and, at the same time, without tolerating any type of abuse towards us.
Being assertive is not easy, but it can be learned so that practicing this communication style with our children will be a valuable tool to solve this situation and many others that may arise in their life journey. Here we explain.
Teach him to set limits
Set the necessary limits to others so that they do not commit any abuse on us is also part of assertiveness. Given the situation we are talking about, teaching our child to set the necessary limits to protect themselves from undue aggression will be essential to cope with these situations.
Discuss the issue with parents and teachers
In addition to working on all these aspects with our son, it will be necessary notify the situation to parents and/or teachers involved in the context of the situation. Involving all adults responsible for this situation is necessary to conveniently resolve the problem and as a means of raising social awareness that makes unjustified abuses visible.
Show you how to ask for help
In addition to providing our child with all the tools mentioned, it is also important indicate the different ways through which you can ask for help in case this situation tries to happen again, leaving any fear aside and with the strength that comes from trusting that everything will turn out well.
For example, go to your teacher, the school principal, any friend or colleague, call us on the phone, ask for help from whoever passes by, etc. Indicate that using any of these options is, in reality, a gesture of great courage that allows you to take care of yourself, confront the aggressor with his inappropriate and antisocial behavior, and be a living example of action for future victims of aggression or bullying. .
Here you will find more information about the .
Train the abandonment of fear and helplessness
Everything said so far represents tools that will allow our child to fight against fear and helplessness. When fear disappears, the person’s inner strength resurfaces and the brute force of the aggressor loses all its meaning. Working in this direction will allow healing the base of insecurity on which, surely, the abuse suffered by our son is based.
Empathize and be kind to the injured person
A last and no less important tool to empower our child and provide him with the means to resolve the abuse situation in a peaceful and respectful way is to help him become aware of how the aggressor himself is a victim of his own insecurities and abuses and that his behavior is nothing more than the irrational response to his fear and attempt at protection and survival in an environment that he perceives as dangerous and threatening.
That our son can integrate this view of the aggressor will help him adopt a compassionate view towards him that can contribute favorably to a possible behavioral reintegration of the aggressor. That our son feels how his assertive and empathetic behavior is helping to improve the behavior of the person of whom he has been a victim is a great personal satisfaction that will strengthen him enormously. In the following article we explain to you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What to do if my child is hit and does not defend himselfwe recommend that you enter our category.