All of us have experienced the feeling of guilt at some point in our lives. This feeling, despite being quite uncomfortable and annoying, also usually brings with it extremely positive aspects if it is transformed into responsibility. If responsibilities did not exist, there would be tremendous chaos in society since most of us would probably be involved in acts potentially harmful to others and even to ourselves, relationships between people would be increasingly complicated, among other things. That is why, if we know how to use the feeling of guilt in a positive way, this can help us to become better and better, continue growing as people and improve our interpersonal relationships.
However, in this article we are going to focus on that feeling of guilt that prevents us from living in peace and that even makes us feel guilty for everything that happens to us even without really being guilty. So if you are a person who never stops feeling guilty about everything and would like to change this situation, in this Psychology-Online article: how to stop feeling guilty about everythingwe will provide you with a series of tips that will help you eliminate that feeling of guilt that is only harming you.
There are many reasons why a person may experience guilt and find themselves having a hard time and suffering because of it. However, among the main reasons we can highlight the following:
- Conditions acquired since childhood. Generally, as children we are always taught that we must behave well and act in a certain way because otherwise we will be failing to do the “right” thing. These conditionings are determined by moral issues dictated by society, by religion, the beliefs of our parents and/or caregivers, etc.
- . Since we were little, we usually perform certain behaviors in order to gain parental approval since this way we feel more loved and accepted. All of this can be seen reflected on some occasions in our relationships with other people where that feeling of approval that arose in us since childhood appears.
- Fear of feeling like “bad people.” Most people have been led to consider that not feeling guilty makes them “bad people”, so they try by all means to experience it.
- Not taking responsibility for our actions. Some people prefer to carry the feeling of guilt their entire life rather than wanting to remedy what they did at some point since it may involve making a great sacrifice for them.
- Thinking that we deserve to feel this way. Many people cannot let go of their feeling of guilt since they truly believe that for what they did they deserve to be continually suffering and torturing themselves.
- We have not respected our rules or those of others. Another aspect for which we tend to feel guilty is because we feel that we have not respected our limits or personal standards that we had set for ourselves. We can also feel guilty for not having respected other people’s feelings.
Stop criticizing yourself
Sometimes, people criticize ourselves too much, even ruthlessly, which causes the guilt that we may feel at some point to be experienced twice as much and exaggerating what it really is. We must learn to be more compassionate with ourselves and if not, we will criticize it in a constructive and not destructive way. It is important to give ourselves a break and.
We all make mistakes
When we feel guilty we can come to feel that we are the only people in the world who have made a mistake and as if that were the worst thing that can happen to us. As you know, the reality is that each and every one of us makes mistakes and we will continue to do so, it is something we have to accept. Mistakes, if we take them as we should, help us continue developing as people and drive us to become better and better.
There are situations that we cannot avoid
Another thing we must accept is that we cannot have control of everything. In fact we lack control over most of the situations that occur in life. An example that is very common in this type of case is that some people tend to blame ourselves for things like the death of a loved one, where we feel that we could have done something because it did not happen, however it is not like that and we have to learn to forgive us
Offer to help
If you have made a mistake and intentionally or unintentionally hurt another person, you may not be able to fix it. However, there are many other things you can do to improve it, for example, change your attitude towards that person, help them in any way you can, in short, show them your sincere regret through your actions.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.