If you don’t know the answer to this question, don’t worry! It is understandable that we do not know how to differentiate between some emotions. Recognizing internal states when we have been taught what they are is easy.
We know what hunger, sleep and pain are because when we felt them they helped us understand what was happening in our body. Think about these examples: “I see you irritable, I think you’re sleepy,” “You always come to the kitchen when you’re hungry,” “You fell, does it hurt a lot?”
Now, and What if they never explained to you that this feeling of danger is called fear or that this anticipation of harm is called anxiety? Maybe today you confuse these internal states with illness, signs that your organs are not working well, or you even think that you are weak because you are afraid.
Probably, we are not taught about emotional recognition and regulation either due to a lack of information, due to prejudices about how we should feel or react to certain situations or due to a certain lack of connection and validation between what we feel and what another person may feel. In other words, It is common for no one to explain to us what it is like to feel a certain emotion because very few people understand that all emotions are valid and that not everyone feels them in the same way. For example, most people are hungry after noon, but not all people are afraid of heights.
Hence, many of us grow up with great ignorance regarding emotional issues and it may even be that for some, emotions have been greatly punished. It is common that as adults we do not go to therapy because we do not like to feel those emotions that in the past have been criticized, minimized or ignored.. Think about how you would view physical pain if when you were younger, every time something hurt you, you were rejected or made fun of.
In this case, it would be likely that you want to ignore that pain because instead of seeing it as a sign to seek help, it generates insecurity and makes you feel bad.
To understand fear and anxiety we must then understand that all emotions have three response channels: thoughts, physical sensations and actions motivated by the emotion.
Possibly it is from these three elements that the problem of not being able to differentiate or regulate emotions appears. When we face fear and anxiety, what usually confuses us is that in both states we have thoughts aimed at interpreting something as dangerous.. Added to this, We can also have physiological responses that can be very similar: palpitations, sweating, and changes in breathing.. Finally, both emotions can make us take actions such as fleeing or avoiding the situation in most cases. Furthermore, if that were not enough, Both fear and anxiety have the evolutionary function of helping us prevent and react to potentially dangerous situations.
So what differentiates them?
Fear usually appears automatically in situations or events that threaten our survival and appear in the present.. To exemplify this, let’s think about my fear of snakes. In my case, I am not afraid of them while I am cooking or at the movies, but if I met one on a walk in the countryside I would feel afraid. If you pay attention Fear is a survival tool that prepares us to react to situations that may threaten our well-being..
All those physiological changes that appear and that may be uncomfortable are warning you that there is something threatening out there, so you should be aware of the danger.
For its part, Anxiety occurs in situations that are in the future and that usually come from the interpretation we make of said events.. For example, it is possible that the fact that Someone being forced to go to a new place with people who do not share any of their tastes can trigger feelings of anxiety about the possibility of being judged or rejected.. Notice that What can happen is not a fact, but is part of the past experiences learned according to your life history. Although it could be an extraordinary meeting, there is a tendency to prevent a consequence that is perceived as harmful. In this situation, although it is not a fact that the meeting will go badly, anxiety would help this person prepare for it.
When do they become a problem?
Regarding fear, it is correct to think that in the face of danger we will feel the aforementioned reactions. Nevertheless, Fear becomes conflictive when sometimes the sensations are excessive in relation to the level of danger. To continue with the example, One thing is that I feel afraid when walking in the open field and this makes me be attentive, and another is that I never go to the field because just thinking about snakes makes me feel in danger..
If fear becomes a phobia, it may begin to translate into stopping experiencing valuable situations because you do not want to come into contact with these sensations.
Problematic anxiety is closely related to unbridled anxiety in which catastrophizing is quite common. Additionally, the physiological activation of anxiety may appear only at the idea of not wanting to experience that unwanted event. The problem with anxiety is that sometimes it seems like an emotional hijacking that does not allow us to pay attention to something other than what we fear or our bodily sensations.. It may be the case that it becomes chronic, having very intense sensations and causing so much discomfort that we constantly seek to escape from it.
What do I do if I have problems with anxiety or fear?
The most valuable thing you can do is seek psychological support. Not all of us feel the same way nor have we arrived at it through the same paths. It is because of that It is essential to seek help to understand how we got to this point and what makes those great tools you have to protect yourself have become a problem that makes you feel in danger even if you are not.