We cannot repeat to ourselves how fantastic we are in situations in which, in fact, we do not shine: the best we can do is accept ourselves as we are, with our virtues and defects. Researchers define this ability as “self-indulgence,” which means being self-indulgent. However, we have been taught that being self-indulgent is an undesirable trait, something that can lead to ruinous behavior, so much so that the famous American dictionary Merriam-Webster defines self-indulgence as that “excessive or unrestrained gratification of one’s own appetites, desires or whims”.
With this Psychology-Online article we are going to see what is self-indulgence and some examples about.
Meaning of self-indulgence
What is self-indulgence? Self-indulgence literally means self indulgencethat is, a habitual or occasional attitude of understanding and benevolence or simply tolerance.
Self-indulgence is, therefore, the ability to forgive our mistakes, accept our behaviors and faults; being self-indulgent with ourselves means treat us with kindness, love and understanding how we would treat a friend or a child. It should not be confused with self-pity, since this concept is linked to people who feel guilty, avoid criticism, and do not accept the truth about themselves.
Below we will see how self-indulgence is considered in psychology, if it is positive or negative, what it is for and on what occasions to use it.
Self-indulgence psychology: positive or negative?
What is the meaning of self-indulgence in psychology? Is it positive or negative?
Be careful how you apply self-indulgence
The downside to self-indulgent behavior is that it can camouflage a deceptive effort to sustain positive feelings about oneself: when we indulge ourselves, in fact, we can easily obtain the object of our desire, or taste an exciting experience that is not available, but also a feeling of almost ecstatic tranquility that before then could be painfully elusive.
The costs associated with this intemperance invariably arrive later, minor or serious, and can only rarely be avoided. We might discover, for example, that what we, through self-indulgence, have chosen to help us feel better has damaged our lungs (for example, nicotine), our liver (for example, alcohol). We have developed diabetes or heart disease as a result of poor diet or overeating. These are the possible “costs” of negative or misunderstood self-indulgence: the price of our desperate attempt to make ourselves happy (or at least happier than ourselves) because our lives do not truly satisfy us.
Despite Poorly applied self-indulgence can worsen your health and seriously affect your relationships or your budget, there are also advantages to allowing behaviors that pamper and gently feed. Self-indulgence is a tool that can help you accept your mistakes and faults. For example: you don’t feel humiliated or incompetent if you forget a joke while performing in a play, or if you fail a trick during a game. Self-indulgence reminds you that you are a human being and that it is natural to make mistakes. Self-esteem alone cannot induce you to acquire this attitude, because it forces you to always be the best; and thus, your inner voice would put you in difficulty, instead of giving you the appropriate charge to achieve the objectives you seek.
How can we develop healthy and indispensable self-indulgence?
It’s easy: just talk to yourself in a friendly way. It is a technique that marines use, for example, when they have to overcome hard training, because it has been proven that when you speak kindly your cognitive performance, memory and concentration improve. In this article we talk more about .
Examples of self-indulgence
Who among us has never allowed ourselves something and justified ourselves? Being forgiving means being willing to forgive, understand, pity, or punish someone less severely. But when this status is directed at oneself, it can lose the compassionate connotation and take on the meaning of satisfying one’s desires without feeling guilty.
Self-indulgence is a very common human characteristic. It reminds us that making mistakes is human: our mind looks for a way to avoid the point of the situation, adapting and modifying reality at a conceptual level to obtain the result that best suits that moment. Being self-indulgent means treating ourselves with the kindness, affection, and understanding with which we would treat a friend.
Typically, self-indulgence is combined with small vices such as, for example, make an exception when dieting, like a dessert or ice cream; either smoke a cigarette from time to time after we have left it, because maybe we are going through a difficult time. Therefore, self-indulgence can also be a form of weakness on some occasions, a force that can have a very negative and destructive value, precisely because it makes us give in to what we consider momentarily adequate to alleviate our wounds and confront our fragilities, although Let us know that it is harmful, for example, to indulge ourselves, and continue drinking, smoking or overeating, knowing that it is not good for us, without seeking help.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
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- Ignisdiary (2020). Autoindulgenza secondo me. Retrieved from: https://www.044.eu/it/autoindulgenza-secondo-me/
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