What is hate and how can you overcome it?

The state of deep disgust, enmity, aversion or antipathy towards something or someone as well as the desire to limit, avoid or destroy who or what causes it is what we know as hatred. According to some specialists, this emotion is as deep or passionate as love. How does it arise and what can we do with it?

What do we talk about when we talk about hate?

Hate is an emotion that can originate in different ways, because someone is considered to have consistently and directly affected or harmed our well-being either that of someone with whom we bond emotionally. It can also arise from a feeling of envy or inferiority towards what someone is or has. In that sense, envy would be one of the origins of hatred. It can also happen that you hate someone who considers yourself guilty or responsible for a situation that generates deep repulsion.

Generally, hatred towards someone is accompanied by attitudes and actions related to anger and anger, such as aggressive or excessively euphoric behavior. But it also happens that hate entails emotional responses associated with sadness, disappointment or anguish. For this reason, hate seems to be an undesirable emotion for one’s well-being, since it disturbs one’s tranquility and balance.

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But what few are aware of is that hate, in many cases, arises in relation to our Values ​​system. Like love towards something or someone, Hate is also a feeling that is part of our value system and what generally happens is that anyone who violates it in some way is hated. The outright intolerance towards someone’s thoughts or behaviors are, to a large degreewhich makes her hated.

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How to overcome hate?

  1. Recognize the origin of our displeasure: identify the cause of our anger or apathy from which hate arises is probably the first step to overcoming it. But it is not only a matter of determining what action or event originated the hatred, but also what part of our Values ​​system either beliefsof our sense of justice or of TRUEetc., was violated or affected, and to analyze said impact.
  2. Analyze our personal history: French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu stated that everything we like or dislike has a meaning rooted in culture, in social formation, in which all people interact and are formed as individuals. That is, we estimate or reject something, largely thanks to symbolic and emotional formations that they are not their ownbut learned, inherited or in which we have been forced to believe and we never question. Analyze our personal history and question our own convictions can help overcome hatesince it may be due to learned or inherited aspects but that have little to do with our genuine experience of life.
  3. Leaving intentions behind: Many thinkers have investigated the intentions as a dimension of human actshowever, the intentionality and the non-intentionality of acts are difficult conditions to determine beyond personal judgment, and this judgment, as might be supposed, It is usually limited and partial. That is why it is convenient to pay less attention to the intentionality of an act and more to the need to understand it in broader contexts that allow a more human understanding of everything that seems to us to attack or harm us.
  4. Letting the offense pass (humanely): If what you want is to overcome hatred, Instead of seeking revenge, it is probably best to forget, put aside what offended us in the beginning. The great writer Jorge Luis Borges wrote “I do not talk about revenge or forgiveness. Forgetting is the only revenge and the only forgiveness.” Nothing more true and forceful. But this forgetting necessarily implies a decision before action: the recognition of the humanity of the other..
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