When we start a relationship, it is possible that without realizing it we go to extremes: trying to continue as if we were single, thinking only of ourselves, or thinking only of pleasing the other person, overlooking our own needs. The emotional responsibility It is precisely about finding the balance between what we think and feel, and what the other person thinks and feels.
And when we start to get to know someone and build a relationship, we can be greatly affected by the other person’s actions, not only because we have an interest in pleasing them, but because, very possibly, we conceive future plans with this person. . In this point, if there is no reciprocity and one of the people is not aware of the impact of their actions on the other, It is likely that the relationship will not work and one of the parties involved will suffer.
Although for years, we have been made to believe that for love to be true there must be suffering, the idea of creating a bond with a special person must be motivated by love. mutual well-being and the ability to share honest and genuine feelings.
How to identify emotional responsibility?
If you are still not very clear what emotional responsibility is aboutit is important that you know very well what it is and what it is not.
It is emotional responsibility
- Express our feelings.
- Talk about our expectations regarding the relationship.
- Have good communication.
- Establish and respect limits.
- Take care of each other.
- Know that our actions have consequences on others.
It is not emotional responsibility
- Hide information about our feelings.
- Do not validate the other’s emotions.
- Ignoring the other person’s boundaries
- Breaking couple agreements.
- Creating false expectations in the other person when we are not willing to build a bond.
- Pretend that the other person guesses what we think or feel.
Affective responsibility, like other human skills, can be worked on and developed. If your interest is in building healthy bonds, it is important that you learn how to act to avoid harmful behaviors in your relationship.
How to develop emotional responsibility?
Being aware that our actions have an impact on other people and knowing how to manage emotions is the key to developing emotional responsibility. Pay attention to the following guidelines to develop this skill:
Encourage honest communication
The basis of a harmonious bond is, without a doubt, honest communication on the part of the two people involved in the relationship. Don’t forget that cheating can make the relationship a toxic bond.
Avoid suffering
Relationships are not always the same. If substantial changes in feelings occur, it is better to resort to the truth than to cause suffering to others.
Set healthy limits
Establishing limits, expressing them clearly to the other person and respecting them is the basis of a healthy relationship.
Validate the feelings of the other
In a relationship, the feelings of both people are equally valuable. Validating both of your emotions establishes a balance.
Assume the conflict
Disagreements will always arise in relationships; accepting the conflict calmly is essential.
Avoid rationalizing everything in the relationship
Although it is not advisable to get carried away by impulses, wanting to look for logical arguments for everything does not help either. Allow yourself to enjoy your relationship.
As you see, emotional responsibility is not about an exceptional capacity, it basically has to do with find balance and seek the well-being of the two people involved in the relationship.
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