Also known as parental burnout, this syndrome affects women more than men due to their responsibility for the family. How to detect it and avoid it? Here we tell you.
It has been said that parenting in its exhausting, wasteful and unbalanced process, taking into account that society does not fully facilitate the time that both parents must dedicate to their children, among other aspects. In that sense, How exhausted can parents feel during this arduous task? Do women feel it more than men?
an app for boys and girls between 2 and 8 years old to learn English, surveyed 600 families Spanish women with children between two and eight years old, to address this issue and found that a 67% of those consulted admit that “the importance they attach to being a good father or mother and the effort they allocate to that end becomes exhausting.”
Also, seven out of 10 parents also admit to suffering from work stress, 23% to a very high degree and 49% seasonaland Almost half of them (46%) consider that this feeling negatively affects their family life and their relationship with their children.
Although these results are in a population different from the Colombian one, it is possible that they reflect a reality that is not so foreign..
What is emotional exhaustion or parental burnout?
explains that: “parental burnout, also called parental mental and physical exhaustion, It is a syndrome that affects fathers and mothers exposed to high levels of stress in relation to raising children.. This term has been recovered and redefined during the pandemic due to the enormous demand it represented for those who had children in their care. It has been characterized by symptoms such as exhaustion, sadness, anxiety, loss of pleasure in parenting and emotional distance from children.. Strong burdens of “ideality” have always fallen on the maternal/paternal function, derived, in large part, from the prevailing cultural models.
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The combination of work with responsibilities, chores at home with children, food, order, school, plus social or relationship relationships can trigger ‘burnout’ or parental exhaustion.
describes that, in this case, The stress, guilt and frustration of parents when they feel unable to give their children all the care and attention they would like, join other symptoms such as sadness, irritability, conflicts with their partner or emotional disorders. dream.
The survey we talked about previously reports that eight out of ten parents feel guilty, to a greater or lesser extent, for not having enough time for their children constantly (18%) and frequently (27%) or for themselves.
“Today’s society imposes on parents a degree of perfection marked by the idyllic images that we see on television and social networks, which is not easy to achieve. Striving to be perfect parents ends up weakening our resistancecausing symptoms of stress, physical and mental fatigue “which, aggravated by excessive work intensity, can become a problem that affects the relationship with our children,” says Rhona Anne Dick, educator and Director of Learning Experience at Lingokids, to El País.
If we talk about gender, women tend to suffer more from this parental exhaustion because they have traditionally assumed that they are the caregivers of the children in the family.
Seven out of ten women mothers feel alone in raising children, and This leads to misunderstanding and extreme exhaustion.. Because, in addition, growing up in a society that does not prioritize the family and that does not value motherhood becomes even harder,” Laura Baena, founder of the Malasmadres Club, told El País.
That is why support between parents is essential, so that both parties can enjoy moments of individual disconnection.
Other triggers
Social networks play an important role in the face of that pressure mentioned before. Unknown people validate or not whether a good job is being done. “We have to be strong and live a little on the margins. Forget about the social pressure to achieve everything and achieve well, prioritize what is really important for each family and understand that it is much more important to educate in values than to fill the agenda with sports activities, social events and cultural visits. We must awaken the critical spirit, try to live small, without being dragged along by what is imposed on us from outside,” Dick reinforces.
How to prevent it?
- Although it may seem obvious, try to ensure that parental exhaustion never occurs.
- Remember that parental exhaustion does not only happen due to lack of timebut also for not having the knowledge, strategies or sufficient resources. Relying on the previous experiences of other parents can always be useful.
- Strengthen emotional education, starting with yourself. Pause and observe what is happening, not only to your son or daughter, but to you.
- See if you are in a position to educate, or if you are so deregulated The first thing we have to do is stop and regulate ourselves to, from there, educate in a different way, from calm and serenity, explaining to my daughter what is happening and without resorting to shouting, which ends up exhausting us.
- Organize playdates with the families of your children’s friends from school. Extracurricular activities are another of the tools available, if the family budget and the spirits of your children allow it.
- Find more activities to do outside the home on weekends and have outside help for household chores or childcare, as well as have individual time to go for a run or walk, read or listen to music, watch television or go to the gym.