Popular wisdom usually tells us that when we do not resolve a certain problematic situation in our lives, it reappears again and again, in different forms. Psychology explains this phenomenon with the concept of “mourning”. Mourning means facing a loss, working to overcome it, and drawing a lesson from it. However, not all people achieve it alone.
In a large number of cases, subjects who have suffered great pain simply do nothing, believing that the passage of time will heal everything. A priori it is possible to believe that we have managed to overcome the loss, when we have forgotten about the situation or keep ourselves very busy with other things. However, unresolved duels at some point come to light and become a source of suffering again.
DISCOVERING INHERITED MOURNING AND TRAUMA.
We must not forget that the human being is a whole, and as such, to have a good quality of life it is not only important to take care of the physical, but also the psychological and spiritual. In this sense, an unresolved duel is very detrimental to mental health in the short and long term.
explains that many of the situations that arise in life -even our way of thinking, feeling and making decisions- are inherited from our ancestors. Perhaps you have never thought of it that way, but your affective, work, economic, and social choices are somehow influenced by your family tree.
What your grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents or uncles lived through -closer or more distant- has left traces in the family DNA. These traits imprinted on cells are inherited from one generation to the next. And they can trigger situations as specific as the following: an ancestor suffered the death of a child and was never able to overcome that loss. Consequently, you can suffer several miscarriages because your genealogy is still trying to work out the unresolved grief.
In other words, as we said at the beginning, the same situations are repeated again disguised as something else. That is why it is so important to learn to face suffering: it is about knowing its origin, understanding why it occurs, accepting it and being willing to overcome it to move on. It is necessary to get out of the role of victim to become the protagonist of one’s life.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE LEAVE A DUEL UNRESOLVED?
An unresolved duel is very often the reason that we are consuming antidepressants or other drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and even something more serious like drugs. It is also the source of a constant feeling of frustration, sadness, lack of interest in what surrounds us and, in fact, the cause of thousands of cases of depression and suicides.
is a very powerful tool when it comes to going through a duel. First of all, it helps to detect what is that pending account with life that does not let us move on. It can be about situations as diverse as the divorce of our parents, the loss of a certain job or the abandonment of a first love. Secondly, it provides us with a bundle of techniques and exercises especially aimed at inner healing. This discipline invites us to live duels with full awareness, going through each of the stages of which they are composed. It invites us to stop clinging to the suffering of continuing to think that we have lost something. Only then, facing the situation, will we be able to let go of it later, to let go of the pain, and then enjoy the joy and satisfaction of having done our job well.