When a daughter hates her mother, she hates herself and despises life. Not to be fooled, because pride is subtly disguised, then whoever despises life loses it.
Taking the mother is a process of spiritual purification it requires time, a lot of humility and it is the beginning of the Path of Healthy and Mature Love that we are all called to follow.
It is worth clarifying that it is a inner attitude of gratitude and honor for the Life received from our parentsit is not about being physically with them, since Life itself drives us to go further, to leave our parents to form our own familymake our own way.
the german philosopher bert hellinger He observed that feeling that gratitude gives us vital strength to move forward; while if there are resentments within us as a result of our primary ties (our parents), this prevents us from a free and light life; on the contrary, we are presented with situations that ratify that resentment; and this happens to the service that we can free ourselves from that burden of the past. I insist, it is an interior attitude that makes us strong and free to make our own Life.
On the other hand, in cases of painful bonds with parents, the process of release it will be more difficult to transit; but it is the challenge of whoever has been touched by that destiny, to leave it behind with thanks for the life received and move forward, serving Life, because it is what makes us happy and fulfilled.
This reflection and exercise based on the teachings of bert hellingerhave the purpose live from the truth of our historywith acceptance of what has touched us as destiny in our family, and through this “yes to Life as it was and as it is”, we will receive the necessary vital force to make our own way of life, and fulfill the purpose that our be essential He came to experience this planet. So be it!
An attitude that leads to serious diseases is the refusal of the child to take his parents with love and to honor them as his parents. Such children rise above the earth because before a heaven or another superior instance they consider themselves better and chosen. Thus, for example, there are cases of cancer patients who prefer to die rather than bow down to their mother or father. -Bert Hellinger
Exercise to reconnect with life through reconnection with our Mother
You are going to take a picture of your mom or a piece of paper with her name on it, and you place it on a chair in front of you, about 2 or 3 meters, and you look at it while you stand.
You are going to look at your mother for a long time, until you can take a little step towards her, and another and another, until you can get closer to the photo and put it in your heart.
While you look at him, you can say: mom, I miss you, you have left me very alone, mom I am very angry with you, very angry, I need you so much mom…
If there is hate, feel it deeply, and then you let it go… you release it… you surrender it to God: “Please, Father, release the memories of pain, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, hatred, revenge, fears, anger, jealousy, envy, divisions , diseases in me, in my family, in the human family. Thanks Please…. Yeah….” And I continue to surrender to life as it is.
Bert Hellinger Meditations
How to look at our mother
Few among us have looked at their mother up close. Who can say that she has seen her mother, really seen her, just as she is? Below is an exercise on how to learn to look at it. She closes her eyes.
Our mother was once a child, like us. She had parents, born in a certain family, with her particular destinies, which have affected and formed her. Sometimes someone died too soon, maybe the mother or the father or a brother. Or maybe someone was very sick and everyone has been worried. As a child, she also worried and perhaps she said: I am willing to take care of this so that someone else can do better. She already as a child she was carried by an alien destiny.
That’s how we look at it. And suddenly we realize the following: our expectations or our claims regarding her completely ignore what her soul she has moved, what her soul has taken from her at her service for another purpose. How strange it is then to demand and desire internally, and also say it, that she be totally here for us, that she thinks of nothing but us! How poor are we in our souls! So far from love and happiness!
The first thing we have to do is look at our mother as an ordinary woman with a history, with a long history from his family. This story has made her human, that is, imperfect, and precisely this imperfection makes her especially pretty and likeable.
The beginning of happiness is being able to see our mother with her humanity and loving her as she is. Then practically nothing is more opposed to happiness. This is the beginning of happiness that lasts. Mother is the greatest divine relationship for usIt doesn’t matter how she is. How mother is a divine revelation and we remain in front of her with devotion.
And the life behind the mother.
What is your face? It is the face of GOD. The face of life behind our mother is the face of God. Both, life and mother, are immeasurable greatness. And we as creatures, in tune with our mother and with life, become great, with an unyielding greatness in love.
One more secret to greatness? This greatness is “joyful.” He personal growth It is also a base learning to be able to work later. And now the practical application of this exercise. If a customer comes up with a problem, how do they start? You imagine reaching out to her mom and beyond her, to life. And maybe then they have to do very little. Because? because the death games end then.
Loving parents from the spirit
Let’s start looking at our parents from this perspective. It is something very different from what perhaps we used to do. Let’s start then.
You can close your eyes if you want. Let’s look at our mother, just as she is, exactly as she is. Only in this way, she is our mother. But, is she really “our” mother? Do I have the right to say “my mother” as if she were my property? Or is she given to me by another force, which has taken her to serve her, just as she is? This is how she was chosen to be my mother. Only in this way, as she is, can she truly be my mother and only in this way can I become as the spirit desires. Her fate and my fate are inseparably linked.
As I look at her as she is, I also look beyond her to something greater. I look past her, to her parents, the ones that were destined for her, just the way they were, exactly like that. No one could be different from what she was because the spirit, in accordance with her movement, has conceived and guided each one as it was.
Behind their parents are their parents and endless generations. All of them have been moved by the spirit, all had a destiny arising from a movement of this spirit, all were taken to his service, from the beginning to me. I am linked to all of them, by the spirit and its movement. Above all of them I look far away, towards the infinity that moves everything as it is, and that accepts everything as it is and that accepts me as I am, with my mother as it is.
So, I open my heart wide. I look at my mother and take her into me, as a gift from this eternal spirit, I take it as it is and say “Thank you.” Looking at all the generations behind her, I also say “Thank you”. I look even further to infinity, collected and dedicated, in front of what remains hidden from us.
And I say: “Yes, I give myself to you with all those who are with me. Together, we are at your service. Thank you”. I remain in this bond with love, with respect for everyone, with the awareness of occupying last place. And from this place, I look ahead.
I feel my ancestors behind me, and this force behind all of us. I give further what has been entrusted and offered to me. I give it further with respect and with love, in harmony with all those who were before me, in harmony with the movement of this spirit.
In the same way, I look at my father just as he is, with the destiny he had, with everything he did. I look at him and see him as he was and as he is now. So it corresponds to me, for my destiny. Thanks to him, I was able to grow. I am the way I am because he is the way he is. I also look past him, towards his parents. They were as they could be, just like that. And because they were like that, they were the right ones for my father. Beyond them I look at his destinies, his parents and endless generations.
They were all at the service of this spirit, just as they were, precisely so. They touch me, just as they are. I place myself in the lineage with them, below, in the last place. And I know that I give further what has come to me from them. I take my place in an uninterrupted chain of generations, knowing that I am moved just like them, by something infinite.
I look at my father and open my heart. I take it in me as it is, as it is given to me, the right one for me.
When we look at our parents in this way, with a spirit love, with a love beyond sentiment, harmonized with a movement of the spirit, we also see what they have given us with so much paternal affection for so many years. It’s amazing what our parents have given us, according to this movement! We accept everything as it was, without more or more, even the supposed difficulties, pain and challenges. The way they behaved was so designed by this spirit. They were moved like this by him, for us.
What use is the rest then, our desire to be, perhaps, superior to them, to reproach them and make complaints? What do we do then, faced with this spirit? What happens to us when we dare to wish them otherwise than they were? Are we still in love towards them, just as they are? In his love for his parents, just as they were? In love towards his destiny as it was?
Let us ask ourselves if we are still in love with all those who were before them and whose lives, with their experiences and their sufferings, benefit us in a common movement, which encompasses all of us equally and where all are still present.
“Carrying your head high tires. Happiness is found by those who bend down” – Bert Hellinger