The manipulators are among us: they are doctors, journalists, teachers, and they often occupy positions of power; but they can also be mothers or hairdressers, because it is not the activity that defines them. The “relational manipulator” is not associated with a particular sex, it is not limited to a single chosen place, but rather it moves in our social, family or professional environment. Being a manipulator is not a tactic, but a way of being, a type of narcissistic personality recognized by psychiatry as pathological. So there is a fundamental difference between being manipulative and manipulating: only 3% of the population falls into the first category, but we are interested in them because the damage they cause is numerous, systematic and devastating for 90% of the people who They live with them.
Do you want to know how a manipulator thinks? Do you know the weak points of manipulators? With this Psychology-Online article we are going to address the issue of manipulation together, to better understand who manipulative people are and, above all, to discover the weaknesses of a manipulator.
What are manipulative people?
Manipulation is a type of behavior that is carried out in order to change the way of thinking and behaving of others, using deceptive methods which can also lead to both psychological and physical abuse. The manipulator usually belongs to that category of people that was previously called, or even; The ultimate goal of the manipulator is the satisfaction of his own interests at the expense of others.
The manipulator is an individual who tends to have some peculiar personological characteristics, and in particular may be a narcissist, an individual who has the peculiarity of exploiting others for his own benefit. In this article you will find more information about the. Another characteristic is antisociality, that is, the absence of ethical values accompanied by a poorly defined projectuality, which is contradicted by the presence of high levels of impulsivity and search for excitement. Here we explain the .
- Passive manipulators present themselves as eternal victims who do not trust their talents and abilities. They organize themselves to end up in impossible situations from which they shout their request for help, thus attracting the attention of the saviors, who take pity on them. They are bottomless pits, and they ask for help especially in sectors where they are the only ones who can help themselves, even making impossible demands like “help me have self-esteem” or “make me happy.”
- The active manipulatorsthe alleged saviors, They don’t want to see their weaknesses or their limits., but, on the contrary, they show a false image of strength and confidence. To enhance themselves, they compulsively try to help the supposed victims, becoming dependent on the dependence of others, and in this game they end up exhausting themselves. Lacking strength and energy, if they take it upon themselves with passive manipulators, they will reproach them and even persecute them.
What are emotional manipulators?
Affective manipulators are deceitful and profiteering minds, can hide behind any individual and their perversity is not immediately evident but is revealed once dominance over the prey is established. It is when she becomes dependent and drained of her energies that they change drastically, attacking her with an evil made of sarcasm and humiliation, cruelty and coldness every time they are perceived as a threat or they want to reiterate that they are the ones running the game. They usually play an important role for the manipulated person, who is interested in their judgment: a relative, a friend or an employer, for example. It is precisely this emotional link that makes psychological manipulation difficult to recognize. In this article we talk about.
What if the one you let into your heart (or who forces open its doors) is a manipulator? Male or female, manipulators often display a fascinating face and manner with the sole purpose of exerting psychological influence on their prey. At first, their behaviors are very similar to common manifestations of love, but little by little the mask falls, and what suggested a relationship with a promising future becomes a true enterprise of destruction on the part of the manipulator. Reason would impose on us flee as soon as possiblebut often the victim submits to his executioner, and the consequences are multiple: loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, anxiety, feelings of guilt, fear, lack of safety in public, sense of shame and isolation. Also on the physical level: appearance of , , general discomfort, , , etc.
The weaknesses of a manipulator
What interest do manipulators have in manipulating? Next we are going to see how a manipulator thinks and the weak points of manipulators.
- They are immature. They are trapped in old survival reflexes; They are scared, bad and spiteful children, lost in an adult world that terrifies them. One of the weaknesses of a manipulator is immaturity.
- They are unstable. Another weakness of manipulative people is instability. They feel that things are getting out of hand, and that is also why they are paranoid, anxious and even very naive.
- They are naive. While they try to dominate others, they are often themselves at the mercy of another person for whom they feel unlimited admiration and whose words they drink with incredible candor. They often allow themselves to be deceived, which reinforces their fears, their anger and the certainty that the world is hostile.
- They seek protection and control. In constant search for a protective father who will take charge of their immaturity, they oscillate between excessive admiration and inevitable disappointments, which often coincide with the phases of seduction/destruction. They will never forgive that substitute for disappointing them the day they discover his weaknesses and limitations. Therefore, manipulation is for them a clumsy and inadequate attempt to control their environment and protect themselves from everything they consider dangerous and malevolent for them.
- They feel afraid. They have not been able to develop alternative solutions: either they manage to manipulate them, and are therefore reassured but forced to continually check that they are under control, or they have not managed to dominate them, and in this case they terrorize them; They will hate you, reject you and do everything possible to keep you away from their inner circle.
- They have low self-esteem. Another weakness of a manipulator is that they do not have healthy self-esteem. Manipulative individuals require excessive admiration: their self-esteem is almost invariably very fragile. They may be concerned about how well they are behaving and how well they are judged by others, which often transforms into a constant need for attention and admiration. Know the.
- They lack empathy. These are generally people who have difficulties recognizing the desires, subjective experiences and feelings of others.
In this article we explain what happens when a manipulator doesn’t get what he wants and .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to The weaknesses of a manipulatorwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Balestrieri, M. (2019). Psychology of human relationships. Teoria, clinica e narrazioni cinematografiche. Milan: Franco Angeli.
- Nazare-Aga, I. (2004). Les manipulaurs et l’amour. Montréal: Les Éditions de l’Homme.
- Petitcollini, C. (2017). Liberati dai manipolatori. Milan: Sperling & Kupfer.
- Sokolova, Y. (2019). The narcissistic disturbance of personality. Modelli theorici a confrontation, diagnosis and modalità relazionale. Gaeta: Passerino Editore.