Breaking all communication with your ex, eliminating that person from social networks, not going to the places they frequented and not talking about your friends or friends of him or her (even if you die inside), are just some of the stages of Zero contact to help you get over a broken or problematic relationship. It is a fact that distancing yourself from some people is a great step to maintaining stable mental and emotional health.
If it is very difficult for you to cut the link with that ex-partner, in this Psychology-Online article, we will explain the 7 stages of zero contact and its characteristics. With this no contact rule, you will find a little calm, although at first it may be difficult for you to put this psychological strategy into practice.
What is zero contact
It is the firm decision to break any type of relationship or contact with a person. It is usually used when a love relationship breaks up or when you want to get away from someone who is very toxic. From a psychological point of view, it is a technique that aims to help you cope with a recent breakup to decide (with a cooler head) a future on your path.
Applying zero contact can be painful at first, since it requires incredible willpower. The goal of the strategy is to completely cut off communication and contact with the person in question, which may include blocking phone numbers, avoiding social media, and not going to places or events where they may meet. The purpose of this is to protect yourself and create space to heal and recover.
By eliminating contact with the person who is no longer in our life, we seek to recover emotional stability, rebuild self-esteem and establish healthy boundaries. Now that you know a little about what zero contact is, let’s look at the main stages of this psychological method one by one.
Delete your social networks
It is usual that you want to fall into the temptation of getting that person’s attention by uploading images to their social networks to wait for their reactions or “likes” or you may even want to make them jealous with a reel or story on Instagram. Do not fall in the trap! The only thing you will achieve with this is create a vicious circle from which you will not be able to get out so easily.
The smartest thing for your mental health is that remove that person from your social networks and that you go building new friendshipswhich help you keep your mind busy with other things.
Don’t ask him how he is
Another stage of zero contact is don’t ask every moment about your ex, since that will not alleviate your sadness or pain. It is better that you try to avoid conversations where his name appears, because if you start asking about his things, his health or where he is, sooner or later, you will end up giving in to the desire to contact him.
Don’t talk about him or her
Want more tips on how to apply zero contact? Your family or people who know your ex may want to talk about it, getting over it, or the reasons why he broke up.
In those moments, you must be very firm to avoid those issues and make it very clear that you have no interest in reliving the circumstances that occurred between the two of you.
Avoid visiting places that bring back memories
The places they frequented, the parks they visited and even the beaches they visited are other things you should avoid. In fact, it won’t do you any good to visit those places again, because they will make you relive the memories of your relationship.
Thus, try not to visit those sites and not listening to your favorite songs. That is, give your mind and soul time to heal, as over time your wounds will slowly heal.
Change the intention of your thoughts
Of course your mind will remember that person and try to relive the moments you lived together. Well, change the intentional focus of your thoughts and immediately find something to entertain yourself, like reading a book, watching a funny TV show, going out to the park, or even checking out TikTok to watch some funny videos.
Don’t forget that you have the power to control your thoughts, but you must believe that you are capable of keeping your mind balanced to take the step you need towards calm and emotional sanity.
Don’t close yourself off from meeting other people
Another stage of zero contact is meet new people to keep you positive and to help you lead a new life full of good hopes.
You don’t have to get involved in a new relationship immediately, but if you want to turn the page calmly, don’t close yourself off to new illusions. You can go out to the park, to the cinema, to a pub or to places of healthy social relations. That way, you expand your social circle and can advance in your personal and love life. Here we explain
Resist the distance and fill your free time
Perhaps one of the most complicated stages of zero contact is resist from a distance and not succumb to temptation to send a text message or make a phone call to the person in question. You must be clear from the beginning that you are going from one extreme to another. That is, you are going to go from being in contact with that person all the time, to not knowing anything about them.
When you begin to ignore your ex again, you will see that you will begin to free up that part of your brain that you had exclusively for their memories. Also, take advantage of your new freedom to plan activities and tasks that you like, which will help you keep your mind busy on other things. Start exploring fun things or things you didn’t dare to do and immerse yourself in a new world of emotions so you can focus on yourself
After all, things in this world happen for a reason. Move forward and open yourself to new possibilities in your life. In this article you will find.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to The 7 stages of zero contact and its characteristicswe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Riso W. (2013) Practical guide to overcome emotional dependence. Phronesis
- Rodríguez de Medina Quevedo, I. (2013). Emotional dependence in interpersonal relationships.