Those who exercise emotional blackmail on those closest to them can range from subtle to violent so that others do what the perpetrator wants.
Health psychologist Marta de la Fuente, expert on the Spanish portal identifies three ways of manipulating and highlights that there are emotional blackmailers who “specialize” and make their manipulation technique an increasingly sophisticated action to get other people to do what they want.
- Through guilt. The blackmailer who resorts to this language technique generally uses expressions such as “I do everything for you” or play victim with phrases such as “Don’t you see that you are hurting me?”
- With aggression. It is the most direct method of getting what you want and includes physical or verbal intimidation, with phrases like “if you don’t love me, I’ll leave” or “if you don’t do what I want, I won’t do this other thing for you.”
- Through sweetness and gifts. This strategy also includes future promises, something like “if you go with me, I’ll invite you to dinner,” or simply making rules to the other person in exchange for them accepting a proposal, idea, or agreeing to return a favor.
Emotional blackmail, depending on the bond
The Spanish psychologist also points out that manipulation and blackmail occur in family relationships, and gives the following examples.
- From parents to children: “you are the one who makes me sick”, “if you keep behaving like this, you are going to make me sick”, “you are killing me (accompanied by tears or expressions of pain)”.
- Between couples: “How have you changed, you weren’t like that before”, “Of course, you don’t care about me at all”, “If you continue like this, I’ll leave you”.
The Human Area expert concludes that one of the ways to avoid these situations is to act, either to stop having contact with the person who is emotionally blackmailing or to confront the person to try to get them to abandon their manipulative tactics.