Seven tips to help a child or teenager who is bullying

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Bullying is a set of actions that occur repeatedly by a child or young person towards others. These behaviors are intended to hurt and/or humiliate younger children or those who are perceived as weak or inferior by the bully.and can manifest as verbal aggression (teasing, nicknames, threats), physical aggression (hitting, pushing) or as exclusionary behavior (such as not letting him participate in a game or other activities).

According to some studies that have been carried out to understand this behavior, it is usually present yourself more intensely between the 11 and 13 years old, Physical bullying tends to be more common at younger ageswhile Emotional and relational bullying tends to occur more in adolescents.

We know that, in general, children who suffer from bullying have some physical characteristicsbe More smalls either less strong, emotionalbe more emotionally reactive, less assertiveand social, not count with a support net.

We also know that this type of behavior significantly affects the victims who may have significant physical and emotional consequences due to the abuse receivedso they must be treated in time to avoid fatal outcomes, such as a suicide attempt.

Now, in addition to understanding and caring for the victims, it is important that Let’s try to understand the children who are on the other side, that is, the children who bully. This It is not done with the intention of excusing their behaviorOn the contrary, it is with the objective of understanding what makes them act in this way and generating strategies that allow these situations to be managed from the root.

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Therefore, the first thing we must understand is why children bully. It is valuable to begin by saying that There is no single reason why it is done.. For some children, Harassment behaviors are a mechanism through which they can get something they want from others, understanding that they do not have assertive communication skills to request what they want in the best way.

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For others, It is a way to gain social power and be recognized. It is very important to understand that this does not mean that they are bad children, and they should never be judged as such, They are children with some socio-emotional characteristics that generate difficulty when acting in a more pro-social way.

Furthermore, it is possible to see that many of the children who bully others have difficulty identifying and understanding the emotional responses of others and, on many occasions interpret neutral situations as threateningso they feel they must defend themselves using power and force.

Finally, in some cases these children have problems in their relationships with others, including peers and parents.

What to do if my child is bullying others?

In this sense, it is important to be very attentive to the signs that indicate that children are being bullies, talk clearly with them and inform them that this is not a behavior that is expected of him or her and work from home and school to strengthen emotional recognition strategies in themselves and in others.and in the potentialization of prosocial behaviors.

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Other tips to keep in mind:

  1. Understand that bullying will never be good, so We should not normalize it.
  2. If you know that your child is bullying other children, talk to him and ask him to tell you. explain what is happening.
  3. Be interested in listening to him and understanding how he feels, it is possible that he is going through a bad time and use bullying as a strategy to feel better.
  4. Tell him or her clearly what you expect from him or her. If he is bothering others, express that you hope he is a child who supports other children, not one who hurts them.
  5. Guide by example. Sometimes it is oneself who has rude and violent attitudes towards others, it is valuable to review this so that children do not reproduce it.
  6. Define clear consequences. Physical punishment should never be used, especially if we want children not to repeat violent actions, but they should know that Your negative actions have consequencessuch as loss of benefits at home.
  7. keep a open communication and tell them that they can talk whenever they need to.
  8. Monitor the situation and get involvedthis way you guarantee that it does not occur again.