Self-acceptance involves accepting this feeling of pain, sadness, fear, anxiety, and this feeling of doing something wrong. As we grow and embrace this living reality—with its good and bad parts—the illusion of a separate self dissolves. We discover the irradiation and love that is our essence. The more we trust in this essence, the more we recognize this goodness and this spirit in all beings. The embrace of our inner life extends to the entire living world.
For this, it is important to be aware that the internal dialogue that we maintain is based on judgments, concern and doubt. Without thinking, we fear, denigrate and even insult ourselves. We treat ourselves in ways that we would never dare to treat others, especially someone we care about.
So it’s important to recognize that most of this negative self-talk stems from the unconscious mind, and to also recognize that the purpose of these anxiety-producing thoughts is not to hurt us, not to make us feel bad. Ultimately, the purpose of this inner voice is to protect us.
When we listen to our internal monologue, we sometimes hear echoes from our childhood, from our parents, teachers, caregivers. Our unconscious mind plays these tapes from the past to prevent us from having to endure failure, pain, rejection, or abandonment. For example, when you have a new idea or want to make a change, a voice inside you can tell you “you shouldn’t do that because people won’t like it; You better not try.” Although this inner voice seems very critical and negative, it only tries to protect you by making you want to be invisible and avoiding anything that might make you the object of criticism and rejection by others. It could also come up with the voice that says “are you sure this person likes you? You should try doing this to make her happy.”
This habit of pleasing others tries to preserve your security by seeking the approval of others. When we recognize that the anxious or derogatory voice is only trying to prevent you from suffering, you feel more acceptance, compassion towards this unconscious aspect that tries so hard to take care of your life and your safety. In a way, this internal protector has become fixed in the past. From their perspective, nothing has changed: the world is still unpredictable and scary, and you are still small, vulnerable, and unable to care for yourself.
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LAST ENTRIES:
get out of suffering
Once we acknowledge our suffering, the first step is to learn to pause. We might experience shame, fear, or hopelessness. Whatever the experience, the most important step is learning to pause.
The second step is to deepen the attention. Ask yourself “underneath these negative thoughts, what is happening in my body and in my heart right now?”….