To help a person with anxiety, it is important to listen to them well, because they themselves could suggest what is best to say. Phrases like “I’m here with you” and “You’re not alone” or “You’re safe” are a good choice. It’s not easy to see someone you love suffer daily due to anxiety. The symptoms of anxiety are often disabling, not only for the sufferer, but also for friends, colleagues and relatives. This is when the desire arises to help the anxious person alleviate this suffering, but often we do not know what to do to help effectively.
Furthermore, people with anxiety have a tendency to close off and avoid social relationships or, on the contrary, to be very dependent on the help of others. Would you like to help someone with anxiety and don’t know how to do it? In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you suggestions on what to say to a person with anxiety.
How to talk to someone with anxiety
When we see close people suffering, we feel the desire to help them alleviate the suffering caused by anxiety. In these cases, even if you go with the best intentions, if you don’t use the right words the remedy can be worse than the disease because you don’t know what a person with anxiety feels.
In fact, being in contact with friends or family who suffer from anxiety disorders can be complicated if you do not know the mechanisms that cause emotional discomfort associated with such disorders. Still, your role can be instrumental in helping those who suffer gain awareness, ask for help, and not feel guilty or inadequate due to anxiety.
Sometimes the desire to see the other person better makes us rush to give advice and instructions and we do not see what the other person really needs. So, if you are wondering what to do with a person who suffers from anxiety, simply listen to him and transmit openness, availability and acceptance so that she sees that she can speak freely and without fear of being judged.
Convey to her that what you feel about her and what you think about her is not going to change. Only later, when the time is right, will it be appropriate for you to give them advice and opinions. If you want to know more, we recommend reading this article about .
What to say to someone with anxiety
When in doubt about what to say to a person when they have anxiety, it is important to listen to them well because they themselves could suggest what is best to say at that time. Sometimes it’s just better to stay silent and wait for everything to pass. Still, in general, the best attitude is be patient, present and available.
If you can simply listen to what the other person is saying, you are already offering great support. If you want to say something, but you don’t know what, here are some phrases for someone with anxiety:
- “I am here with you” and “You are not alone” They are phrases that can remind the person that they are not abandoned to face their fears and that you are there with them.
- “Remember how many times you’ve been through this”. Taking advantage of past experiences and reminding him of how many crises he has managed to overcome will remind him that what he is experiencing is just a passing sensation that will end soon.
- “You are safe”. One of the phrases for someone with anxiety that provides stability to the person when they are agitated and will make them feel more protected.
- “You will see that it will soon pass”but at the same time ““Take your time, there’s no rush.”. Each situation requires different times. Anxiety is temporary, but you should not rush to end it, because it could be counterproductive.
- If you want to calm anxiety with words, avoid killer phrases like “But it’s nothing,” “Relax,” “Stay calm,” “It’s all in your mind,” “Why do you think so much?” or “Why don’t you have something to relax?” These unhelpful phrases can be replaced with a “I’m here for you”, “I know it’s complicated”“I will not leave you alone”, “I’ll help you get through it”“I can’t imagine how hard this is for you” or “I don’t judge you.”
In the best case, the person will have already started a therapeutic course. If so, ask them to share the agreed-upon strategies with the therapist so that you can suggest them in moments of crisis. If it is a specific anxiety attack, in this article you will see.
Additionally, if you want to better understand what people with this type of disorder experience, in this article you will find information about .
What not to say to a person with anxiety
It is not easy to know what to say to a person with anxiety, much less what is best not to mention. Next, we will show you a list of what words not to say to a person with anxiety:
- “Are you okay? Are you okay?”: During an anxiety attack the heart beats like crazy, the whole body is tense, the hands tremble and breathing seems to be lacking. Therefore, it is best to avoid asking the person how he is doing or if he is okay because no, he is not okay and you think the world is collapsing under his feet. To understand it better, in this article you will see what the .
- “There is no reason to worry”: It is clear that there is a reason, it may seem absurd and absolutely irrational, but in those moments it is not so easy for the person to observe with detachment what is happening. Furthermore, it is a phrase that could be very annoying.
- “Stop! Why don’t you relax?”: If it were that simple, I would have done it already. Expressions of this type are also particularly disturbing. It’s certainly not what an anxious person wants to hear from someone who is supposed to love them.
- “Do not think it!”. The problem is this, you can’t stop thinking about it. Most of the time a person with anxiety knows that his fears and anxieties are unfounded and amplified and the problem is that he cannot – or at least not always – separate himself from his non-rational emotions.
- “You’re exaggerating, nothing happened”: An anxious person often knows that he or she has unusual reactions. Therefore, she may feel different, strange, abnormal. Emphasizing that the reaction is exaggerated certainly does not help.
- “How heavy are you”: One of the thoughts that can most agitate someone who suffers from anxiety is being a burden, hurting the people around them with their own behavior and being unbearable. Therefore, this is one of the phrases that should not be said to a person with anxiety, since it can touch and hurt deeply.
- Avoid using your fear as guilt: “You haven’t graduated yet because of anxiety”, “You don’t drive because you have anxiety” or “You no longer have a normal life because you have anxiety.” This attitude marks the person as a victim of the problem.
- Avoid killer phrases like “but it’s nothing”, “Relax”, “Calm down”, “It’s all in your mind”, “Why do you think so much?” or “Why don’t you have something to relax?”
- Stop asking the person “Do you want to talk about it? I’m listening!”: This is a mistake because it is like throwing special fertilizer on the fear plant. In fact, talking about the problem will only maximize it. If the anxious person feels the need to talk about it, only then is it important to provide a prearranged space and time to listen to them. However, during the rest of the day, the main indication is the conspiracy of silence, that is, not talking about the problem at all.
- Avoid extreme “everything will be fine” reassurance.but also replacing the person in various activities, continuing to ask them how they are doing and continually observing them, or suggesting medications or continually accompanying them to the emergency room or doctor will not help calm the anxiety.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What to say to a person with anxietywe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
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