Sometimes it may happen that a person does not want to talk. It is likely that he needs to remain in this state to internally resolve some conflict and, once resolved, return to his normal interaction state. However, there may be times when, due to a great emotional blockage due to an experience that has generated great pain, the person withdraws into himself and does not want to speak for a long period of time. In these cases, it will be advisable for those around her to encourage her return to the world so that she can get out of that emotional blockage.
In this Psychology-Online article, we propose 10 tips on how to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talktaking into account that with this we refer to people who become emotionally blocked and who need, in some way, help to get out of this state of isolation.
Don’t force the situation
Forcing someone to speak when, for whatever reason, they do not want to, produces precisely the opposite effect: it further reinforces the person’s silence. For this reason, as we have previously commented, respect this moment of reflection and personal reconstruction It is important as a tool that the person is using to resolve a certain personal conflict.
Observe the person
Another way to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk is observe the person and see how they act to differentiate if this silence is constructive and adaptive for her or is becoming something that can be negative and harmful.
To know if this mutism is beginning to be something negative for the person, it will be enough to observe the set of behaviors that surround said behavior. For example, excessive sadness, helplessness (reflect experiences of great sadness or fear), aggressiveness or impulsiveness.
Get emotionally closer to the person
Based on the observed behaviors, we can verify if their silence is adaptive or is beginning to become a mechanism that is harmful to their health. In this second case, with the intention of trying to get them out of the trap in which they are trapped, we will try to get emotionally closer to the person.
We can do this without words or communicating unidirectionally without waitingAt the moment, no response from you but showing understanding at all times for your altered state of behavior and indicating, with our own behavior, our intention to remain by your side and help you with whatever you need.
Create a climate of trust
The final objective of getting emotionally closer to the person is to achieve create a climate of trust that allows you to relax the isolation mechanism that is keeping her away from the world and helping her come back to life again.
When a person is in a state of emotional disturbance as would be the case in this case, the most powerful tool to help them get out of this negative state is to create a climate of trust that helps them break, little by little, the barriers that keep them blocked and separated from the world.
Be patient
The processes of accompaniment of people who react by distancing themselves from the world and stopping speaking as a result of a strong emotional experience are not at all simple, as is the case with most accompaniment of emotional psychological disorders or crises.
In these cases, being patient is a great virtue of the companions that can help the affected people cope better with the journey. Thus, patiently accompany imbalances and emotional ups and downs It will give you a base of security and confidence on which to try to start a new, more positive and hopeful path.
Be respectful
Patience involves a respectful attitude towards the injured person. However, respect or means tolerating aggression from the person towards themselves or towards us or any other person, in no way. Limits in this case are, of course, necessary.
Being respectful means adopting a compassionate view that sees beyond the manifest behavior and understands that the person is not in a good moment and that, despite their will to change, the path presents obstacles and difficulties to overcome that will cause inappropriate responses. in many moments.
Empathize and listen
To get a person who doesn’t want to and who has closed himself in on himself to talk, it is essential. empathize and try to really listen and see the person and everything that is suffering. In this article you will see.
Only with this look, which as we have just mentioned is a patient and respectful look that sees far beyond the objective behavior manifested, only in this way is it possible to make an emotional approach to the injured person and show them that, whatever need, we are at your side to help you.
Express our concern for your silence
If despite all our good intentions we do not manage to break the wall that has been built and separates it from the world, we can express our real concern for their prolonged and excessive silence. In words and in a gentle and above all sincere way we can communicate our concern for her so that she becomes aware that our intention is really to help her get out of this humiliating state for her.
Accompany your silence without further ado
Another complementary tool to the previous ones and, in most cases, necessary is accompany your silence. May our presence and accompaniment simply show you, little by little, that we are truly at your side and that, although we understand that perhaps you are not yet ready to begin the path of return, we are willing to wait by your side and accompany you on the path. .
Make him happy and rejoice
Finally, it is a great life force that can push us out of any emotional tunnel we find ourselves in.
Used with sobriety and great empathy, remain in a state of joy, not euphoria, when we are with the person, cheering them up with small gestures and showing us our joy at the small advances they make will strengthen their interior and will little by little give them the strength they need to get out of the trap in which, without realizing it, account, he chose to lock himself away.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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