It is possible that at certain times you feel that your mother is absorbing your energy. If it is happening to you, probably every time you are with her you end up exhausted, stressed or with any type of physical or emotional discomfort that you did not have before. Despite these being relationships that develop throughout our lives and, in most cases, are normalized, it may be the case that it takes a while for the person to become aware of this fact, which in the long run can deteriorate their physical, psychological and/or emotional health if you do not take appropriate measures.
In the following Psychology-Online article we will answer your questions about why My mother absorbs my energy: meaning, causes and solutions. In this way, affected people will be able to combat said conflict in a healthy way.
A mother absorbs the energy of her child when he is he feels worse physically and emotionally after having been with her. That is, the son who was apparently in good health, with strength and good humor, after sharing a certain amount of time, conversation or activity with his mother, resumes his following activities in a completely different state than the one he had when starting the relationship with his mother. his mother.
This translates as a loss of vital energy which manifests itself through some of the following symptoms:
- Headache.
- Anxiety.
- Stress.
- Distress.
- Dizziness and lack of strength.
- .
- Loss of vital motivation.
- General discomfort and weakness.
The reasons why energy may decrease when you are with your mother are usually due to the presence of one or more of the following aspects in her personality:
1. They are hoarding mothers
Firstly, in cases where mothers absorb the energy of their children, it is usually the case that they are hoarding people who, in an attempt to control their children’s lives, they usurp them without being aware of their needs of space and independent personal functioning.
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2. Emotional dependence
On the other hand, this behavior can also manifest itself when mothers are dependent people who They project their insecurity onto their children.tying them to them and stealing the energy in their interactions.
Therefore, these are people who involve their children in every minimal step they take in an attempt to calm your inner restlessness.
3. Negative view of life
Another type of mothers who absorb the energy of their children are those with a strong negative view of life who judge and/or belittle every minute detail of their children’s lives, always finding problems, difficulties and inconveniences in everything they do.
4. Psychological-emotional immaturity
Finally, other characteristics that can occur in isolation or in interaction with others in mothers who absorb the energy of their children are those that incapacitate the mother to care for her child as he needs, placing her own life as the center of continuous attention. .
Energy can also decrease in cases of insensitivity and lack of empathy which occurs in absent mothers who are incapable of caring for their children’s needs, as well as mothers with a rigid and authoritarian character whose interaction with his/her son/daughter is limited to continuous recrimination, as well as overprotective mothers who suffocate their children with their care, restricting their freedom of action and personal development, etc.
But why do these maladaptive behaviors occur in mothers in each and every one of these cases, which have important negative consequences for their children? exist certain emotional deficiencies on the basis of the mother’s personal development that has led her to meet these unmet needs with defense mechanisms and stereotyped ways of acting to protect herself and survive in her daily life.
If you feel like your mother is emotionally draining your energy, it is important to address the situation in an appropriate and healthy way. Here are some steps you can follow:
- Recognize your emotions: Becoming aware of how you feel when you are around your mother can help you better understand the situation.
- Set clear boundaries: Respectfully but firmly communicate your needs and limits to your mother. Explain that you need time and space for yourself and that you require quiet moments.
- Learn to protect your emotions: Don’t let your mother’s negative comments or behaviors affect you deeply. To achieve this, she practices stress management techniques and develops self-compassion skills to strengthen your emotional resilience.
- Find support– Seek support from other people in your life, such as close friends, family, or even a professional counselor. Sharing your feelings and experiences with someone you trust can help you process your emotions and gain additional perspectives.
- Take care of yourself: Dedicate time to activities that fill you with positive energy, such as physical exercises, hobbies, reading, meditating or any other activity that gives you well-being. Self-care is essential to maintain emotional and energetic balance.
- Communicate your needs– Talk openly with your mother about how you feel and express your needs in a respectful way and find solutions that work for both of you. Your mother may not be aware of how she affects you, and open communication can help improve the situation.
- Consider going to family therapy: If your relationship with your mother continues to be problematic and negatively affects your well-being, it may be helpful to seek the help of a family therapist. A trained professional can help improve communication and mutual understanding, which can lead to a healthier relationship.
First of all, remember that each family situation is unique, so you may find some of these tips more effective than others. Trust yourself and seek the right support to deal with this situation.