When a couple breaks up, both parties, both the leaver and the left, go through a process of grieving the relationship. In these grieving processes, moments of sadness, anger and doubt may appear. It is a process of emotional instability until you adapt to the new reality, the end of the relationship and that the person with whom you shared many things is no longer by your side in the way they were before. In this Psychology-Online article we want to talk about Why does my ex talk to me and stop talking to me and what to do about it.
Below we are going to explain some of the reasons that can make your ex-partner talk to you and then ignore you.
Doubt whether ending the relationship is the right thing to do
As mentioned above, the end of a relationship is a mourning and as such it is a moment of emotional instability and different phases, each with its own particularities. In the duel, At first we can find a denialthe emotional shock received by the ending means that we cannot accept it, that it is too much for us and we do not accept this ending.
In this phase we can detect more messages from our ex-partner, wondering why this happened, but also we can find rage because this has happened. This anger can make your ex-partner talk to you, but also make him ignore you because he believes that by talking to you he is dragging his feet unnecessarily. So this may be the reason why your partner talks to you as if nothing had happened and then stops talking to you.
It is worth mentioning that grief, in most cases, ends up negotiating with the circumstances, what you have lost but what you also have, and ends up accepting that loss.
Shame
This may be one of the reasons why your ex-partner ignores you after starting a conversation and it is the shame towards himself/herself for detecting that perhaps he/she has not gotten over you when he or she believes he or she should have already done so. He speaks to you because would like to hear from you and he wants an approach or he looks for you because he misses you and then he realizes that this is showing that there is still something latent there and he is ashamed of it and ignores it.
In this article we explain.
He wants to be your friend
This is a point that we rarely consider, perhaps the person has realized that they want to continue being part of their ex-partner’s life but in a relationship transformed into friendship and talks to achieve this but immediately realizes that He doesn’t know the damage that talking to you can cause you. and prefers to ignore it and think that perhaps in the future it will be a better time. In this article we talk about.
So that you remember him/her
Contacting you is a way of let you know it’s still there and that in a certain way does not want to close the door to your story, but neither does it want to give it wings to fly at this precise moment. This is one of the most typical reasons why your ex writes to you and then doesn’t answer. It’s a way to not let you forget and not even think about him or her for a second.
In case you want, you can read these tips.
In case you think he wants to resume the relationship, it can help you to know the .
To create desire for you
Why does my ex-partner open the door to me? What does my ex look for when she texts or talks to me? A message from an ex-partner can create a desire in the other person that they did not have before the message, an expectation, perhaps an illusion that will make the other person seek a rapprochement with the ex-partner. This may be one of the reasons why your ex talks to you and then ignores you, trying to generate interest or desire in you.
He has detected that you have a new illusion
Why does my ex text me asking how I am and then not answer? Perhaps the reason why he/she talks to you again and then ignores you is because in some way, either through networks or through comments from people close to you, he/she knows that you have found someone and are getting to know him/her, talking to you can be a form of create doubts and insecurity made the new relationship possible and that you think about him or her again. Furthermore, if he ignores you later, it can create the false illusion that you are creating an intrigue about what he really wanted.
If you notice that your ex-partner does this for that purpose, talk to someone you trust and take action to stop it. protect you and that new illusion.
He wants to play with you and your emotions
Your ex-partner may tell you why. He doesn’t know how to manage his emotional life and he transfers his emotional problems to you by playing the game of distraction: now I’m talking to you, now I’m not, since I don’t make myself clear, I’m going to make sure you don’t either. In other words, like the dog in the garden, which neither eats nor lets eat.
In the event that you detect that this could be the situation why your ex-partner talks to you and ignores you, it is important that you value how it feels to you and make a decision regarding it, whether it is talking to him or her and giving him or her an ultimatum. or block if necessary this person from your life. Love for other people begins with respecting and loving yourself. In this article we talk about.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Morgado, I. (2019). Desire and pleasure: the science of motivations. Publisher: Ariel.