Ending a relationship is never easy and even more so if it is the other person who has made the decision to end it. Sometimes, it is very difficult for us to accept that the other person has left our side and we try to hold on to what we can to get them back. Sometimes the attempts are fruitful and the person ends up rectifying the decision, but on other occasions it may happen that the person is very sure of the decision made and no longer wants you to be part of their life. At that point we can have feelings of anger and deep sadness, because it is difficult for us to understand how a person who was so important to us does not want to know anything. In Psychology-Online we are going to try to explain why an ex-partner doesn’t want to know anything more about us and what to do.
Why doesn’t my ex want to know anything about me?
We find different reasons why the person who has put an end to the relationship does not want to know anything about their ex-partner:
Grieving process
On many occasions, it is difficult for us to imagine that the party ending the relationship could also be affected by it. Overall, it was he or she who decided not to continue. Well, it is true that despite having made the final decision, to make it he had to value many things and also give up a bond, so he must also go through a grieving process to rebuild her life.
Resentment
Depending on the reasons why the relationship ended, there may be some resentment or anger. That the reasons that led the other person to not want to continue with yours were due to something that bothered them and right now they are still in that state of anger and resentment.
Change of priorities
Having ended the relationship, the person has indicated to you that you are no longer one of the priorities in his life, perhaps it is one of the reasons why he has decided to say goodbye to you. If so, it will be difficult for the other person to find time to dedicate to you, since they have decided to spend it on other things.
Third parties
Maybe your ex-partner has rebuilt his life with someone else or is meeting someone special. If so, we must understand that it may be logical for him to try to avoid any type of contact with you.
What should I do if my ex doesn’t want to see or talk to me?
The other part of the couple has made a decision that hurts us, we feel a little lost and we don’t know where to turn. What can we do about it? Below we give a series of proposals that you can make if your partner does not want to see or talk to you.
Farewell ritual
Sometimes, when a person has left our life and we do not have many explanations and we anticipate that we will not have them either, the best we can do is accept this fact and look for solutions. To do this, it may be good for us to do something ourselves that helps us say goodbye to that person, without them having to be present, and helps us move forward with our lives. To do this we can: write a farewell letter, then we can put it in a corner or destroy it.
Facing grief
It is normal that we want to avoid everything that causes us sadness and therefore we do behaviors to avoid pain or to protect ourselves from pain, and one of them is to try to get back with your ex-partner or talk to him or her to see if your situation has a solution. Well, a breakup is a loss and therefore involves grief. Don’t be afraid to face it! Feel the sadness of no longer being with your ex-partner, cry, get angry if you need to… you will see that if you you allow yourself to feel the lossthere will come a point where you will be able to better accept what happened and even learn something, remember every crisis or change can be an opportunity.
Request closure
It may happen that the other part of the couple does not want to see you or talk to you for fear that you will ask them to come back with you, but perhaps what is not letting you move forward is that you do not quite understand the reasons for the breakup. If so, tell them in a message and explain what you need to move forward with your life.
- Example: “I know you don’t want to see me, but I’ve been thinking and there are things about our breakup that I don’t understand. My intention is not to try again, it has become clear to me that you don’t want to, but I would need to understand what happened to move on with my life.” “I would appreciate being able to talk about it.”
Start a hobby
Perhaps the best way to cope with the fact that your partner no longer wants to be with you is to take your mind off of other things. Think about what you have been wanting to do for a long time, but as always, due to lack of time or because you couldn’t find the time, you have been postponing it. Well, your time has come. Go ahead and do what you have wanted for a long time.
Here you will find the.
How to know if my ex doesn’t love me anymore
The breakup may have arisen for different reasons. Assessing it can also give us many clues as to whether the ex-partner may still love us or not. If the breakup was for one of the reasons set out below, it is likely that the couple already has other plans in their life and these are independent of yours. Therefore, surely, your ex no longer loves you if:
Different feelings
If the breakup was due to the fact that his feelings for you have changed, we must understand that he may no longer love us as before or he may not see us as a couple, but more as a friendship.
Incompatibility
The reason may have been because he considers that you are not compatible. If the ex-partner has observed this in us, it may be difficult for her to feel what she felt at first.
Third parties
If the reason for the breakup was because another person appeared, perhaps that is a clear sign that right now you are not occupying the place in his life that you previously occupied.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Beyebach, M.; Herrero, M. (2010). 200 tasks in brief therapy. Spain: Herder.
- García, FE, & Ilabaca Martínez, D. (2013). Couple breakup, coping, and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 11(2), 42-60.
- García Palza, DF (2014). Narration of grief in a love breakup. Ajayu Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 12(2), 288-307.
- Peña Rubio, DC, & Castaño Valencia, MC (2018). Coping styles and the grieving process in the face of a couple’s breakup in a young adult ex-couple.