I don’t have the will to live, what can I do? – The 10 steps

If you find yourself in a situation where the discomfort is very deep It may be that you have come to have thoughts like “I don’t feel like doing anything,” or even, “I don’t feel like living.” This phrase denotes a emotional and psychological state what includes:

  • Apathy: You feel without interest or motivation to make plans or take actions.
  • Abulia: You feel without energy or will to carry out tasks or activities.
  • Fatigue: you feel exhausted.
  • hopelessness: you have lost hope in the future.

Why don’t I have the will to live anymore? Not having the will to live can happen for several reasons:

  • Stressful situation. It may be that you have suffered a very stressful event in your life, some significant change or loss, and this has led you to present an adjustment disorder or depressive disorder.
  • Traumatic situation. One of the causes may be having suffered a traumatic situation such as some type of abuse, mistreatment or violence.
  • Personality. It may be that your childhood experiences have caused you to develop personality traits that tend toward a depressed mood. These personality traits are dependency, self-criticism and pessimism, among others.
  • Biochemistry. It may be that due to some organic alteration, either in the biology or chemistry of the brain, mood regulation is affected.
  • Hormones. It may be that due to hormonal changes, the regulation of your mood is being affected. Hormones can change due to pregnancy or menopause, and also due to dysfunctions in glands, such as the thyroid, among other causes.
  • Disease. Another cause may be suffering from an illness, especially certain serious or chronic illnesses.
  • Substances. It can also be due to substance use, whether drugs or drugs.

The truth is that, if you have the thought “I don’t want to live”, you probably have a depressed mood. So, do I have depression? It doesn’t have to, there are many degrees when it comes to mood. You may present from a depressed mood due to a complicated situation in your life, you may present depressive symptoms or you may present a depressive disorder. In the latter case it will be necessary to meet a series of criteria. Within depressive disorders there are different types of disorders with different characteristics that must be evaluated and diagnosed by accredited mental health professionals.

What is depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that affects thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Depression is characterized by sadness and disinterest. However, it can present in many forms and with different symptoms.

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Depression symptoms

The main symptoms of depression are the following:

  • Sadness
  • Crying
  • hopelessness
  • Empty
  • Irritability
  • Fatigue
  • Apathy
  • Abulia
  • Anhedonia
  • sexual problems
  • Sleeping problems
  • Altered appetite
  • Culpability
  • Memory problems
  • Concentration problems
  • Psychomotor slowing
  • Thoughts about death

Depression test

There are many valid and reliable instruments to detect depression. The most used is the famous Beck Depression Inventory. You can make this adaptation in online format.

If you think you may have depression or a depressive disorder, you will need to see a professional to carry out an evaluation and diagnosis of your case. If you have depression, in the next section we explain how to get out of a deep depression.

If you are in a deep depression, it is normal to have pessimistic thoughts due to fatigue and hopelessness. How to get out of a deep depression? If you have the thought “I don’t want to live”, you should know that the human being is designed to fulfill two basic functions:

  • Survival.
  • The continuation of the species.

This means that our body is prepared to ensure the survival of ourselves and the species. Our brain is like a machine whose objective is for us to adapt to the environment and survive. Therefore, it is in our nature to want to live. Knowing this, what can you do if you don’t have the will to live? How to have the will to live? Applying the following tips:

1. Do something that makes you feel good

The first thing we should do when faced with a low mood is enhance positive emotions and well-being. The easiest and most immediate way is to do it through the senses. Some ideas for this are:

  • Take a shower. With cold, warm or hot water, whatever is most pleasant for you.
  • Eat something you like. A pleasant taste will influence the mood. In moderation and following a healthy diet, of course.
  • Wear clothes that are comfortable and pleasant to the touch.
  • Give yourself a massage.
  • Pleasant smells. It defends the influence of smells on the emotional state. Use a fragrance that you find pleasant.
  • Smile and laugh. Yes, find a funny video or a monologue. You can also smile or laugh on purpose. Your facial expression influences emotional processing.

2. Do something you like

Next, it is important to apply a technique called behavioral activation, which defends that through behavior we can influence emotions and thoughts. Therefore, the first thing you can do is choose an activity that you like (go for a walk, play a song and dance to it, cook,…). It should be a simple activity that you like and that does not require much effort. Once you have chosen the activity, do it. Without thinking. Don’t give it any more thought. Do it now. You may feel lazy at first, but once you’ve done it you’ll feel better.

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3. Plan activities

When you have started to activate your body, you can take a calendar, choose some activities that you want and mark them on the days that are good for you to do them. It has the same objective as the previous point, to activate your body so that the body produces hormones, the effects of which will be to increase well-being and improve mood. These effects will also influence thoughts. These activities should be simple, do not require much effort and, above all, That you like. Later, you can increase the level of difficulty and frequency of the activities.

4. Relate

Try to interact with others in a positive way. We are social beings, we live in society and we need to communicate, express ourselves and share. Although each one to a different extent. Depending on your preferences and needs, you can have more or less social contact, but you must take care of this area of ​​your life. Procure surround yourself with positive people, that they contribute something to your life and that their company contributes to your well-being. If you have family or friends who have these characteristics, stay with them. Set times to meet.

5. Focus on the here and now

Focus on the present, on what you have now and what you can do with it. Dwelling on the past or worrying excessively about the future is counterproductive. How can you focus on the present? . How to do it?

  • Put all 5 senses into what you are doing right now.
  • One thing at a time.
  • When thoughts come about the future or the past, let them go and return to what you are doing here and now.

6. Question your beliefs

After the first points, you will have managed to reduce the discomfort and you will be able to think more clearly. Remember that emotions influence thinking and behavior and, when we are very sad or tired thoughts are conditioned for that state. Once you get out of this loop, you will be able to have more objective thoughts. So, it’s time to restructure your thoughts. Detect your . Do you have thoughts like “I don’t do anything right”, “I’m stupid”, “everything goes wrong”, “others are better than me”? Well, it’s time to question these thoughts: is what you think really true? Probably not. But thinking about it has repercussions on your belief system and therefore on your behavior and your mood.

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This point presents some complexity. Therefore, if you cannot do it alone, it is totally normal and it is recommended that you go to a professional.

7. Find the meaning of your life

Reflect on what things are important to you, what things you are passionate about doing, what you do well, etc. What meaning does your existence have? What do you want to contribute to the world, to society, to your family, to your work, to your hiking equipment, for example? This answer is very personal. To find it, you can use the .

8. Set goals

What things would you like to try? Do you want to learn something new? What do you want to get the next few months? Goals and objectives must be clear, specific, realistic and achievable. Setting a goal, and meeting it, will generate in you satisfaction and sense of well-being. In addition to impacting your self-esteem, improving your skills and abilities, your self-concept and perception of self-efficacy.

9. Maintain healthy habits

Try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by implementing healthy habits and routines. When you are sad and discouraged, the most normal thing is that you don’t cook, you don’t play sports, you don’t take care of yourself. But keep in mind that if you eat poorly, don’t exercise, don’t take care of yourself, etc., your mood is likely to get worse. In addition, you will also be more prone to suffering from some other illness.

10. Take care of yourself

During the process, take good care of yourself. How can you do it?

  • Know yourself. Practice self-knowledge to be able to use your strengths.
  • Respect yourself. Be honest with yourself and respect your decisions, your preferences, etc.
  • Be assertive. Express your opinion respectfully, but express it. Above all, learn to say no.
  • Be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion, you are not perfect, no one is. Try to judge yourself less and treat yourself well, the same way you would treat a friend.
  • Thank you. Practice gratitude by giving thanks for what you have, instead of complaining about what you don’t. Life depends on the perspective from which you look at it.