The desire to achieve excellence and stand out in today’s increasingly demanding society has practically become a necessity for many people. In the case of a mentally healthy person, wanting to be excellent is something completely normal that improves personal satisfaction and does not have to be related to perfectionism. However, the moment the desire to achieve perfection becomes excessive we should start to worry, since that is when it can seriously affect mental health and social relationships.
Luckily, and although in extreme cases it may be more difficult to achieve this, it is possible to overcome perfectionism. In the following Psychology-Online article we will give you a series of tips on how to stop being a perfectionist.
What is perfectionism
Students who cannot conceive of lowering their A’s, artists who repeat their illustrations over and over again until they correct the smallest detail, obsessives about order and cleanliness who spend hours and hours cleaning… it is very common in our daily lives. You may hear someone refer to themselves as a perfectionist, but how exactly could we define the term?
Perfectionism is a fight for impeccability and achieve perfection in all aspects of life. Perfectionist people tend to see all their activities and interactions as an exam that will prove their worth, so they consider it essential to always do things well and make the “right” decision. The goals they set are so difficult to achieve that most of the time they drown in their own frustration. If they manage to fulfill one, many times they are not even able to enjoy it.
If you want to know more about the characteristics of perfectionism you can consult.
What is hidden behind a perfectionist person?
On the other hand, numerous studies corroborate that patients with or without nutrition tend to show higher levels of perfectionism. Likewise, not treating perfectionism in time can cause depression or worsen existing disorders.
perfectionism harms personal relationships and work, in addition to subjecting the person who suffers from it to unbearable anguish. If you detect that you have reached the disabling levels that we have discussed above, it is time to try to find a solution.
Do you want to know how you can stop being a perfectionist? Next, we tell you some methods to treat perfectionism.
Eliminate the need to be infallible
How to learn to stop being a perfectionist? First of all, it is important to keep in mind that perfectionist people tend to see mistakes as something terrible and try to avoid them at all costs. For this reason, the first step to improve is Accept that everyone makes mistakes and learn to recognize themwithout using justifications and/or distorting what happened to look good.
In this way, the person will end up realizing that accepting their mistakes will not make them look less intelligent or lose friends because of it, but, on the contrary, it will allow them to see themselves more human and feel more liberated.
Plan realistically
What’s wrong with being a perfectionist? When carrying out work or activities (such as writing a book or writing a report), perfectionists usually create expectations that are rarely feasible, without taking into account factors that may condition said activities, such as the limitations of time.
It is important set realistic focused goals on finishing the task instead of trying to get every detail perfect. Accepting that the project you are working on will probably not end up being the masterpiece you had initially imagined will help to significantly reduce the anxiety caused by perfectionism.
Set more modest goals
Being aware of your capabilities and how far you are able to go with the resources you have will help you finish tasks faster. Allow yourself to be mediocre every now and then will not only save you a lot of time and energy, but it will also make you feel more relaxed and less pressured.
Likewise, learning to prioritize will also be a key factor in stopping being a perfectionist.
Gradual exposure
Gradual exposure is a fundamental strategy to stop being a perfectionist that consists of changing perfectionistic behavior. committing small intentional errors gradually, such as messing up the room or distributing the books on the shelf in an “incorrect” way.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
Numerous studies have confirmed that CBT can help treat perfectionism. When starting CBT, it is suggested that the professional conduct an interview with the patient to evaluate their degree of perfectionism through questions that address the main maintenance factors in the conductive-behavioral model.
This type of therapy, focused on clinical perfectionism, aims to work together with the patient to locate maladaptive beliefs and modify them. Stopping being a perfectionist will improve the patient’s physical and mental health and reduce the feeling of guilt when one is not being “productive.”
On the other hand, treatment can also help reduce the symptoms of associated disorders, such as anxiety, EDs or depression. Likewise, reducing excessive demands on the environment will favor personal relationships.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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References
- R. Shafran et al. Clinical perfectionism: A cognitive-behavioural analysis Behavior Research and Therapy (2002)
Bibliography
- Alonso González, P., & José Carrasco, M. (2019). Perfectionism in Mental Health.
- De Rosa, L., Dalla Valle, A., Rutsztein, G., & Keegan, E. (2012). Perfectionism and self-criticism: clinical considerations. Argentine Journal of Psychological Clinic, (3), 209-215.
- García Fernández, J., Vincent, M., & González, C., et al. (2016). Perfectionism during childhood and adolescence. Bibliometric and thematic analysis (2004-2014). Ibero-American Journal of Psychology and Health, (2), 79-88.
- Mallinger, A., & De Wyze, J. (2010). The obsession of perfectionism (12th ed.).