All people by nature seek be part of a social circle and interact with others, some with more, others with fewer people, depending on each person’s personality, but we all like to be socially accepted. This is why one of the greatest fears we can experience in life is the fear of being rejected by others. No one likes the idea of being rejected by the social circle in which they operate or when trying to enter a new one. To a certain extent, feeling fear of being rejected, to a certain extent, can be considered normal, However, when that fear becomes limiting, to the point of causing us unnecessary suffering, it really becomes a problem that we must solve as soon as possible.
But, How to overcome the fear of rejection? Sometimes, especially when we carry that deep-rooted fear, it is usually difficult to eliminate it, however it is not impossible when you really want to do it. This is why in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to give you a series of tips that will help you know how to overcome the fear of rejection.
How people act with fear of rejection
A person who is not limited by the fear of rejection that they may feel at times will perceive situations in which they are not well accepted or where they may even be ignored, in a less negative way and take it as something of no great importance. However, a person who has an excessive fear of rejection will be on the alert all the time. pending the reaction of other people and will even interpret their actions, coming to perceive them in an erroneous way. For example, if a co-worker who is normally always happy and smiling, one day arrives more serious and unwilling to talk to anyone, the person who is afraid of rejection will interpret his seriousness as something against him, as If that person was like this because they didn’t want to talk to them.
People with fear of rejection are very susceptible to “what will they say” and if at any time they realize that someone spoke badly about them or said something that they did not like, they may feel deeply hurt and cannot stop thinking about that situation that caused them so much discomfort. They tend to be people who even feel judged and observed by others all the time even though this is not really the case, so they begin to distort reality and make hypotheses based on their own fear of being rejected.
This is why they tend a lot to try to please others, acting in a way in which they believe the other wants it or completely isolating themselves from them, acting as if they really didn’t care about contact with others and therefore neither about their rejection.
In this other article we discover what they are.
Consequences of being afraid of rejection
Among the main consequences of experiencing this exaggerated and irrational fear of rejection are the following:
Losing the opportunity to establish stable relationships
People with fear of rejection miss many opportunities to meet more people and establish relationships with them. closer ties of friendship and/or love. They stop experiencing sharing great moments with people who can be very important to them, having people by their side who can support them at all times when they find themselves in difficult situations, moments of enjoyment and even starting a family. All these life experiences enrich and strengthen the self-esteem of each of us, so if we stop having them we will be living a life with little meaning.
Anxiety problems
Being constantly aware of the reactions of others, feeling judged by others and not valued, can cause us to start having anxiety problems. An anxious person does not live peacefully, they spend their time anxious about what may or may not happen, thinking all the time about the situations in which they have conflicts, they may even have annoying physical symptoms related to the excess tension they feel.
Depression
It is not at all unusual that a person who has an excessive fear of rejection may at some point develop a depressive disorder. It is not easy for anyone to feel rejected and ignored, but people who live with that fear all the time distort reality so much that they cannot identify even when they are being well accepted. Depression itself also causes the person who suffers from it to constantly generate negative thoughts about themselves and their relationship with others. This causes the person to find themselves entangled in an extremely negative vicious circle and can become very destructive for them and their emotional well-being.
Failure to achieve vital goals
The fear of rejection is totally limiting since it not only prevents us from relating to others, but also from achieving our personal goals and objectives since due to the same fear, we stop daring to do things that are necessary to achieve them. For example, a person whose goal is to have a family, if he feels that everyone rejects him, it will be difficult for him to have a stable partner or a person whose goal is to want to move up the position in his company, if he feels all the time this type of fear, surely he will not dare to expose himself to his superiors to be evaluated so that he can be promoted.
4 tips to overcome the fear of rejection
If you want to know how to overcome the fear of rejection, we recommend that you read the 4 tips we give you below. They can help you enjoy a more satisfying life and improve your relationships with others.
Don’t try to please everyone
Some of us fall into the trap of wanting to please everyone else, which is impossible since there will always be people with whom we get along more and with whom we understand each other less, even those who we don’t really like or dislike very much. Being aware of this and seeing it as something normal is key so that we stop worrying so much about liking others. It is important that we take this seriously because if we do not and continue seeking the approval of the other, the only thing we will do is further deteriorate our self-esteem and therefore also increase our fear of rejection.
Just be yourself
An authentic person is one who shows himself as he is to others, whether others like him more or less, they will not hide their own personality and will act in accordance with their personal values. When we are afraid of rejection, we tend to act in different ways trying to conform to what others want us to be, which ironically turns out to be counterproductive because in the end we end up noticing that we are not being authentic. We should not worry about what others are or want us to be, simply you have to be yourself and the right people will always be by our side.
Stop making hypotheses about what others think
Stop creating hypotheses about what others think of you since it is most likely that you are not right and that your own fear of being rejected causes you to perceive a reality other than what it is. Creating hypotheses and thinking how much someone else dislikes you will only make you suffer unnecessarily. Remember that it is impossible to guess what others think and even if that person didn’t like you there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that either, after all you don’t like everyone you know either.
Modify your thoughts
It is necessary that you make a modification of those negative thoughts that do not allow you to move forward and that only generate anxiety and worry. Try to perceive different situations in a more positive and more than positive, objective way. So whenever you have negative thoughts related to your fear of rejection, identify that you are having them and modify them consciously for others that are more constructive and that allow you to improve as a person.
For example, if you are having thoughts like: “I always get rejected, no one can ever like me”, “this situation is not going to change, I am destined to be rejected”, if you start to reflect and analyze objectively With these types of thoughts you will realize that you can never generalize so stop saying that you are always rejected because not all people will. If you think that your situation is not going to change, ask yourself: “why? Can it really not change if I make an effort for it?” Try to be as positive and realistic as possible.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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