Porta
09/03/2021
Hello, I was reading this post and I would like my situation with my partner to improve but I feel like I can’t do anything nowadays in my life there is only hatred, resentment and bad thoughts since before we met my partner, a friend of hers cheated on her. taking her to another country because he had a good job for her and when they arrived in the other country he took away her cell phone and intimidated her and threatened her so that she would have sex with him and she had relations with him for 2 months and now that she tells me I experience a little bit of everything, it makes me very angry and I complain to her because she let herself be deceived in that way because she never looked for a way to escape from asking for help or reporting it or telling her family because she never said anything I was the first person who told her She said and well now, in the midst of so much hatred that I am, I have made him flee to another country because I have threatened him by pretending to be her family from a false profile but I feel that it is not enough knowing that he is still free enjoying life and I suffering I would like to go look for him and do justice
Carla
05/14/2021
Hello, I would like to put these tips into practice because I suffer from it.
In my case, I complain to my husband, he had many women before me and I, well, no, I got married and arrived a virgin with him and I can’t deal with his past. While I was reading this article I got angrier, if we got into arguments and we didn’t. I know what to do because he doesn’t even talk to me and that makes me even more upset, I want help 🙁 I’ll go crazy
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Diego
06/30/2021 Seek to improve your self-esteem and talk things over with him so that together you can address the issue and work on it in what is up to each one (I am not a psychologist or anything like that), it only happened to me and that It’s helping me a little, I’m trying not to end the relationship. Prayer, if you are a believer in something, can also help you understand that what matters is not being the first, but the last.
Good luck!
Carlos
10/22/2023
I understand you perfectly, the same thing happens to me and it’s something I discovered recently, I’m working on it, I wish you good luck, if you want to talk about it one day you can write to me, you’re not alone
Ale Viera
02/02/2021
Hello, I want to present my case, it is not so conventional and I hope I can get some answer that will guide me because the truth is that it is very painful and uncomfortable for me to deal with this.
When I met my current partner, she had ended a relationship in which she put everything into it, and from what I understand he was a jerk to her, she told me that she didn’t have any type of contact with him, but When he realized that she had another relationship, he began to play the victim and cause pity. My partner agreed to meet him several times and also chatted with him. I knew this because I hacked into their cell phone (it’s a shame) but That’s how it was, I realized this and it hurt me a lot, I went through a lot of pain because I fell in love with her very quickly, but despite everything I decided to stay with her, she changed that and completely distanced herself from that person, but It continued to torment me because I am a very educated man with some success, however that person was a good-for-nothing, my self-esteem fell through the floor to the point of asking her what she had that I didn’t have. and today I am sure that she loves me but it is difficult for me to get everything out of my head regarding that relationship, it is painful, I have spoken with her in a measured and coherent way and she takes it as a complaint but I just want to express myself with her unclaimed. It is something very painful, I hope this exercise of exposing myself will give me some peace because I know that we love each other but at the same time I feel that this situation prevents our relationship from growing, at least on my part. first of all, Thanks
Wendy yuliana
06/02/2020
Hello, good afternoon, look, my partner is somewhat jealous. He comes to me and tells me that he doesn’t care about the past, but even though things surround him in his head, as if he wanted to know more about my past, but he doesn’t, why does he? He makes you a little jealous, so what can I do there? The truth is that I want to help him because I know that those things cause the loss of a relationship.
Kenent Vargas socarras
05/22/2020
I want to get it out of my head and I can’t, what do I do?
Juana Perez
05/03/2020
Since we started, my boyfriend has reproached me for my ex-partners, telling me that he also wishes he had had as many partners, that if he had known my past, he would not have been with me. I no longer know what to do to stop me from thinking things, help me.
Gonzalo
03/29/2020
Perhaps I do not have a correct answer to overcome retrospective jealousy, but I would have a conclusion on how to avoid retrospective jealousy and that it is only having intimacy within the marriage bond that would imply arriving at marriage chastely, giving obedience to the teachings of our religion. Christian It sounds a bit obsolete, outdated.
When you are young but when the years pass and those negative feelings begin to assail us, causing us suffering, we come to the conclusion that obedience would have been better.
Josselin Romero
02/08/2020
I met my current boyfriend as soon as he had ended a relationship with a person he said he was in love with. We have been together for two years and I knew her through photography, until I found out where she worked and I went to meet her in person of course!! Maybe she doesn’t know who I am… And I decided to face my worst nightmare that has been my torment during this time because for him I was an idealized person, but seeing her in reality as she is, it gave me a lot of disappointment that as a A man like him could focus on a person like her and reach the point of idealizing her. I feel courage at how many times I felt inferior to that person, but facing reality has made the jealousy I felt diminish and made me feel more secure than I thought. I am as a person and professional that any man would be happy to have me by his side, this has been my experience… Of course!!
That my boyfriend doesn’t know that I met “his great love” who has disappointed me so much that it was my best medicine to overcome this situation!! 🤗 😄
Sandra Garcete
10/21/2019
Hello, I have a problem with my partner, he has retroactive jealousy of my past. I want to help him overcome my past. That’s why I come to you for advice on how to help him overcome that. Why do I suffer a lot when I wonder about my past? We have a 9-year-old son. He loves me. Me too and he asks me to help him but I don’t know how to help him I need advice….
Angel Prada
10/13/2019
Excellent article. It is to read it and stop to reflect.
frank
06/03/2019 Masculinity and its inseparable “cultural machismo”.
I have had the privilege of having been sexually with many women (without being a jerk), however, these demons (retroactive jealousy) have only appeared to me with women with whom I have had a romantic connection.
I admit that taking the risk of wanting or loving someone implies having to accept certain information from the past that invariably “makes us burn” (due to our intricate machismo) and even more consumes us if those former male partners are from a work or friendship circle. in common.
It is inevitable to be territorial, but we cannot live with this suffering, with this mental torture every day, we must, for our own existential health, do everything possible to lead a harmonious life with the women of our present.
Don’t stop trying, again and again, yes you can.
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Fernando Gonzales
07/13/2020
Retroactive jealousy, Don Frank, affects both men and women, so what does the machismo you say have to do with it?
Gonzalo
04/29/2019
This article is very helpful, given a situation that causes some of us suffering.
Jose Fuentes
04/11/2019
Hello, I need your help. Please, I am too tormented by my wife’s sexual past. Because of this, we have many discussions. Help me to overcome what I feel. I hope for your help. Thank you.
Victor
02/25/2019 I felt identified, I have my partner for a little over 3 years! At present we get along very well in almost all aspects but she has that defect of having gone out with several men (some of whom I know in person) and that makes me feel bad because she was in bed with several of the men I know and that kills me mentally when I They get jealous, then everything goes back to normal and I feel great around them.
So 3 years have passed between living on a cloud and suddenly falling out of it due to my imagination.
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02/26/2019 Hello Víctor, in response to what you told us, I suggest that if you have been experiencing this type of jealousy for so many years and you cannot overcome it and feel the way you want, you go to a professional to guide you and help you. go ahead. Finally, by feeling better about yourself you will feel even better in your relationship. I hope I could have helped you.
All the best!
Daniel
02/12/2019
Very good article, I felt very identified, I didn’t even know that I suffered from something like that, despite this I am aware that it is irrational but my mind tortures me by drawing images, situations or moments that are not relevant, I try to focus on the present , but sometimes I suffocate, I get a lot of stress, anger, envy; I shield myself from other people’s experiences of third parties who pay no attention to it and have a normal life without caring about their partner’s past. It has cost me a world but fortunately I have the control not to make any kind of claims or say anything. undue since I was clear in saying that I do not want to know about it, I think that is the only thing that those of us who suffer from this can ask for, not knowing under any circumstances since finding out puts us in arduous competition in a case in which we are not in a level of equality or in a given case that the past surpasses us, that is where great emotional shocks arise and we overexert ourselves trying to be better or being perfectionists. Admitting that you suffer from this type of behavior is at least one step; But imagining that person with another person(s) is heartbreaking, it is even masochistic on our part, but not at all easy to get rid of but not impossible.
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02/14/2019 I am glad that you liked this article Daniel. And I recommend that if you have a problem with the issue of retrospective jealousy and it is increasingly affecting your relationship, you go to a professional who will undoubtedly help you overcome it and feel the way you want.
All the best.
ariel fields
12/27/2018
Hello, good afternoon, my partner and I work in the same place but in a different area and I get jealous of a colleague who works in the same area. He is the only man among 5 women. He gets along well with all of them and jokes with them in a healthy way, I think. that my jealousy started because of a classmate of hers who told my partner that she dreamed that they were getting married and that they would be a nice couple and things like that, at home my partner mentions it saying that so-and-so said this, that so-and-so is fine , etc etc. Once I was upset and told him if you like him, go with him and we started arguing, he already…