An existential crisis is a more common phenomenon than it seems. It is a vital period of deep doubts regarding the existence, to the meaning of life, purpose and even one’s own identity. Who I am? What do I do here? Where is my life going?
Existential crisis: meaning
An existential crisis in psychology is understood as a moment in which the constructed mental schemes no longer work to face the current situation. The existential crisis occurs because life, or the way of perceiving or understanding it, changes. Suddenly, past ideas and expectations of the future fall. New concerns and questions appear that have never been raised and for which there is no answer (yet). The person going through an existential crisis she feels lost, disoriented, her goals are not clear and she rethinks her beliefs and values. All this accompanied by intense psychological discomfort.
With uncertainty and worries, anxiety symptoms, difficulty falling asleep, apathy or lack of motivation, apathy or lack of energy, fears and life dissatisfaction may also appear. In the following article you will find more information about the .
Although we often talk about the existential crisis at 30 or 50, the truth is that it can occur at any point in the life cycle.
Causes of the existential crisis
An existential crisis is due to an interpersonal conflict derived from the union of several factors, the main ones:
- Internal or external changes. One of the most intense changes is usually the losses, which can range from the death of a loved one to the loss of health or employment. Especially when areas of life that were given great importance and that supported much of the meaning of our life are lost.
- Lack of self-knowledge. We spend a lot of time distracted and pay little attention to ourselves.
How to avoid an existential crisis? Or rather, is it possible to avoid an existential crisis? These periods of doubt can occur for multiple reasons and are usually caused by several factors. Some factors can be worked on preventively, such as self-knowledge and self-compassion, but others do not depend on oneself.
Consequences of the existential crisis
A stock crisis can have several consequences, including:
- Psychological disorders: The feeling of being lost can trigger discomfort that interferes with the person’s daily life, causing psychopathological symptoms.
- Transformation: If the discomfort is faced and managed correctly, the existential crisis can lead to personal growth and development. You can emerge stronger and transformed from it, thus expanding your resources to face future difficulties, such as .
Sticking to the second option, we can interpret an existential crisis as an opportunity to rediscover ourselves and to change. What to do in the face of an existential crisis? There is no solution as such, exact and effective for everyone. It will be about knowing yourself, analyzing the situation and reorganizing your life.
1. Brake
How to overcome an existential crisis? Being aware. Surely you find yourself absorbed by routine. The same tasks every day, the same places, the same people, etc. Worries, recurring thoughts and doubts. For a moment. For something new to grow it must have space. Therefore, you must stop in order to continue.
2. Allow yourself to be bad
Discomfort is part of life. Humans have a varied repertoire of emotions and we do not always feel positive and pleasant emotions. We also have, it is normal to experience them and go through periods in which we feel bad. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to have doubts, it’s okay to assume that the situation has surpassed us. Accept that you are human and, therefore, imperfect. From the base you can work to overcome the existential crisis.
3. Get to know yourself
You may think that you don’t know what to do with your life or even question who you are. In that case, you should spend more time with yourself, observe you and understand you. Ask yourself why you think this way, why you act this way, etc. A self-knowledge technique is to write down on paper a description of yourself in the third person. Then, you can ask people close to you to tell what you are like from their point of view. Then, assess the similarities and differences.
Remember: You are not your emotions, they pass through you and you decide how you manage them. Just as numbers or titles do not define you, your way of being, your way of relating and the value you bring to others and the world define you.
4. Question your thoughts
Discomfort often derives more than from the situation itself, from the way we interpret it and what we think about it. Pay attention to your internal dialogue, what you think about yourself and what you tell yourself. Your discomfort may not be caused, for example, by having ended your relationship, but by a belief of yours, such as “without a partner I cannot be happy.” Question the validity of beliefs that form the basis of your thoughts.
5. Remember your resources
To overcome an existential crisis, remember your actions in other difficult moments. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What have I done when I felt lost?
- How have I overcome adversity?
The goal of these questions is for you to remember and be aware of all the skills you have developed in other complex circumstances that you have already overcome. The learning and capabilities that you acquired are there to help you now.
6. Get back your hobbies
Reflect on those things you enjoyed a lot in your childhood. What you liked to do before your schedule was so full and your self-criticism was so high that it no longer had space in your life. Is it feasible to include any of your hobbies in your current life? Try it! Carrying out pleasurable activities is one of the most used strategies of behavioral techniques in psychological therapy, since among its many benefits you will notice a more positive mood and motivation to perform other tasks.
7. Relate from vulnerability
Due to social stigma and fear of being judged by others, we often try to present ourselves as indifferent and invincible. Being sad or feeling lost seems to be socially not associated with success and happiness, so we try to hide them. However, it is not necessary to hide how you feel, especially from people you trust. There may be people who don’t understand you, but you will be surprised by the amount of people who can understand you and even also uncover their vulnerability. Social support is essential and being able to show yourself honestly will give you greater freedom.
8. Set a goal
To reduce demotivation, find what you are excited to do. What purpose would you like to fulfill? Consider a realistic, concrete and short-term objective.
Sometimes, motivation does not appear at the beginning, but once the path has begun. So you can start even if your motivation is not very high at first. However, keep in mind that you shouldn’t force yourself either. If you are not prepared, if it is not the time, nothing happens. Listen to yourself, respect yourself and take your time.
9. Experiment
How to overcome an existential crisis? It is about rediscovering who you are and what you are passionate about. To do this you need to expose yourself to different contexts and observe yourself in new scenarios. Try, allow yourself to have new experiences and be a beginner. Allow yourself to try, try, experiment, etc. You can make mistakes, you are human. To obtain new learning and to find new answers you must try new paths. Here you will find .
10. Find your purpose
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What things give you satisfaction?
- What things are really important to you?
- What things do you do that are not out of obligation?
- What things do you stand out for? What is it that you are very good at?
- What can you contribute to others?
- If you had a magic wand that could make everything happen, what would your life be like?
In addition to the previously mentioned steps, to manage this feeling of disorientation and demotivation, you can do the following exercises:
1. List of things that make you feel good
What things make you happy? Take paper and pencil and write down all those simple, everyday things that produce well-being in you. For example, having a coffee, taking a walk, watching the rain or giving a hug. Keep this list in mind and whenever any of these things that make you feel good come up, be aware of it and enjoy them.
2. Positive diary
Each day, reflect on the day and identify at least one positive thing that happened. What we feel depends largely on what we think, while what we think depends on our cognitive filter. That is, according to our experiences we form beliefs and adopt a position regarding events. Performing the exercise of finding positive aspects helps make our position more flexible and allows us to learn to change our point of view.
3. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude or gratitude involves analyzing and valuing small things that make our daily lives easier and improve our quality of life. Things that we usually take for granted and overlook, because they are always like that. Taking them into account allows us to feel lucky for enjoying certain comforts. For example, if you are reading this it is because you know how to read and because you have the Internet.
4. Read
Another exercise that contributes to personal development and helps overcome an existential crisis is reading. You can learn through useful books to overcome an existential crisis as The art of not embittering life by the psychologist Rafael Santandreu, emotional intelligence of or Man’s Search for Meaning of .
5. Visualization
Get comfortable and relax. Imagine yourself in 5 years. Observe how you are, where you are, how you walk, how you think and what you are doing. Observe your mood, your interests and your values. Explore every area of your life: where you live and with whom, what you do, what you do in your free time, and how you feel. Visualize even the smallest detail and empathize with that imaginary person, with their concerns, their desires and their goals. You like what you see? What can you do that is in your power to start to look a little more like that version of yourself?