Anger is a basic emotion, evolutionarily aimed at defending oneself for survival and with a fundamentally adaptive function. Let’s face it: you too will have lost control and unleashed anger; In the end, it is nothing more than a human emotion from which we have come away hurt or offended, or from frustration for not achieving the objectives we have set for ourselves. Therefore, anger is normal, but we should never lose control, as it can be destructive, undermine personal and work relationships, and even compromise our health and quality of life. In these moments, understanding how to manage anger and frustration is essential to regain a good mood and be productive again. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to see the causes of emotional anger, how to manage anger and how to get rid of pent-up anger.
Learn to recognize the symptoms
If you want to know how to manage anger and how to control anger and aggression, the first thing you have to do is learn to recognize the “symptoms.” Understanding when anger is about to take control is essential to rebel and take back control of the situation: if you notice the signs that your mood is starting to boil, you can take steps to control your emotion before it overwhelms you. become uncontrollable. Pay attention to how anger feels in your body.:
- A knot in the stomach
- Clench your hands or jaw
- Feeling sweaty or red
- You breathe faster
- Headache
- Nervousness or agitation
- Difficult to focus
- Tachycardia
- Tense the shoulders
- Lack of control of your emotions
- You feel depressed because of your anger
- You often argue with others
- Constantly impatient
- You find a lot of people irritating
If these signs have already appeared in your diary, don’t be afraid: knowing how to recognize them is already a good step to control them. Therefore, the first tip is to learn to listen to the signals that your mind gives you: listen to yourselftry to never lose control and ask yourself if your reaction benefits anyone.
Explore what’s behind your anger
What does anger hide? Anger problems usually come from what you learned as a child. If you observe during childhood that it is normal in your family to scream, hit, or throw objects, you may think that this is how anger should be expressed. Besides, traumatic events and high levels of stress They can make you more susceptible to the expression of aggression.
Anger is often a cover for other feelings, and to express your emotions in an appropriate way, you have to be in touch with what you really feel. Your anger can mask other feelings such as shame, insecurity, hurt, embarrassment or vulnerability..
Anger can also be, however, a symptom of psychological health problems, such as depression, anxiety, trauma or chronic stress.
Find the why
A good way to quickly overcome anger is to ask why we are angry, what was the cause of our anger. If the matter is serious, we will need all our self-control and all our lucidity to resolve it, we cannot allow ourselves to be angry; If it is not, we must ask ourselves if it is really worth losing our temper over something so insignificant.
Find solutions
Staying calm in situations where anger seems to take control is not easy, and one of the most common mistakes we make is focusing on the problem instead of the solutions.
Instead of focusing on the situation that triggers the anger, work to solve the problem. Let’s take a concrete example: you have been studying a book with very complex notions for days. Despite your commitment, you always feel that you are not doing enough and that there are aspects that you do not understand; This makes you believe that you are not up to par and increases your feeling of frustration. Instead of letting yourself be overwhelmed by negative feelings, work on a solution and ask yourself how to solve the problem.
just relax
It may seem like trivial advice, but it is not at all: when you feel that anger is about to take over your mind, count to ten and try to relax. Don’t fall into the trap: reacting impulsively could lead you to make less than rational and considered decisions that you could regret.
When your anger flares up, you start your relaxation skillsperhaps trying to get closer to meditation and practicing deep breathing exercises. Imagine a relaxing scene and repeat a calming, mantra-like phrase such as “everything is fine.” You can also listen to music, journal, or do yoga.
Once you know how to recognize the warning signs that your mood is overheating, you can act quickly to address your anger before it gets out of control. There are many techniques that can help you calm down and control your anger. To cure emotional anger, try:
- Focus on the physical sensations of anger.
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Do some physical exercises.
- Use your senses (for example, try group work techniques).
- Relax or massage areas of tension.
- Slowly count to ten.
- Practice in meditation.
The power of no
Our mental health and self-control can depend on a “no” said without remorse. If you are used to always saying yes, perhaps because you are in a subordinate position, it is time to realize that saying no is possible, it is your right, and doing so will make you feel better. You can consult the following articles: and .
Let things pass that are not so important
If you want to know how to manage anger, you must learn to know when it’s worth letting it go. Deciding to be angry is your right, but so is deciding to stay angry all day. Being angry hurts us and the people around us. If someone made you angry, ask yourself if they did it voluntarily and if your anger helps lead to a possible solution. Forgiveness is a powerful instrument: If you allow anger and other negative feelings to diminish positive feelings, you may find yourself swallowed up by your bitterness or sense of injustice.
Strive to forgive and let go: this way you could strengthen your relationship with the other and take it to a higher level. In this article we explain.
Sports practice
How to manage rage and anger? If you are wondering how to release anger and empty your mind, there is no better solution than a little physical activity: Being in movement helps you free yourself from negative sensations and get rid of stress. When you feel like you are too stressed, engaged in a running session or even a simple brisk walk; Sport stimulates the production of endorphins that will help you restore a good mood.
Take a rest
If you want to regain serenity after a day of study or intense work, it is good that you get into the habit of taking breaks. Working non-stop does not benefit your productivity and runs the risk of leading to very high stress levels. Enjoy short breaks after times of the day that feel especially stressful. A few quiet moments can help you feel better prepared to face any unforeseen event without getting angry. Organize yourself, for example, your day: plan your agenda, write down things to do and proceed with one task at a time. Or, after doing each task, give yourself a five-minute break: you’ll need it to relax your mind.
Find healthy ways to express your emotions
If you’ve decided that it’s worth getting angry and there’s something you can do to improve the situation, the key is to express your feelings in a healthy way. If communicated respectfully and channeled effectively, anger can be an extraordinary source of energy and inspiration. for the change.
The way you respond to disputes and disagreements, both at home and at work, can create hostilities and irreparable divisions, or it can create security and trust. Learning to resolve conflict positively will help you strengthen your relationships.
Sorry and thank you
Often, to avoid conflicts that could trigger anger in us or make someone else nervous, you just have to learn to say thank you to whoever has helped us and been close to us, and sorry to anyone who has been involved in our mistake or have done something wrong. It’s not easy, but you can learn to do it. Preventing a fire is better than preparing to put it out.
Know when to seek professional help
If your emotions are still getting out of control, even though you have used anger management techniques, or if you find yourself in trouble with the law or hurting others, you may need more help. There are many therapists and programs for this type of problem, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness: you will often see that others are also experiencing your own experience, and get direct feedback on the issues. techniques to control anger can be very useful.
In this article you can see more information about it.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to manage angerwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Centodieci (2018). Rabbia is a complex emotion. 5 tips to manage it. https://www.centodieci.it/empowerment/rabbia-come-gestirla-consigli/
- IPSICO (2020). Attacchi di rabbia (scatti d’ira). Retrieved from: https://www.ipsico.it/news/attacchi-di-rabbia/
- Unicusano (2021). How to manage anger: follow 7 steps to restore peace of mind. Retrieved from: https://www.unicusano.it/blog/didattica/corsi/gestire-la-rabbia/
- Zanusso, G. (2020). Some suggestions and techniques to keep your anger under control. Retrieved from: https://www.zanusso.it/come-gestire-ira-e-rabbia/