Knowing when to end a relationship can be difficult, but some signs that could help you know it’s time to break up include lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of respect, feelings of constant unhappiness, and having different long-term goals. . In these cases, it is important to reflect on what is best for you and your emotional and mental well-being.
Usually, when there is no more love, you know. However, sometimes love is confused with dependence, habit or fear of loneliness. It is very important to know how to see the difference between a healthy relationship and one that is not. Sometimes, situations that should not seem normal to us become normalized and it is difficult for us to identify the reasons for ending a relationship. In this Psychology-Online article you will find 30 signs to detect When and how to end a relationship.
How to know if my relationship is healthy or not
Healthy love is not what we have seen in the movies. We have internalized beliefs based on romantic love that are unrealistic and harmful. The information we have received about relationships influences both our own behavior and our expectations about the other person’s actions.
When a relationship is based on the beliefs and practices of romantic love, such as possessiveness, jealousy, the “better half”, sacrifice and “forever”, it is normal for it to cause discomfort. Because we insist that the relationship meets those requirements that have been transmitted to us that must comply love.
This discomfort is unnecessary and does not occur when a relationship is healthy. A relationship must be, above all, freely chosen and must be supported by respect and trust. If you feel discomfort in a relationship, it is not a healthy relationship.
To learn to detect a toxic relationship, it is necessary to unlearn and rebuild a healthier and more realistic vision of love and relationships.
Signs that a relationship is not working
How do you know if love is over? How do you know when to leave your partner? How do you know if leaving your partner is the right thing to do? Ending a relationship is neither right nor wrong.It is simply necessary when it is not a healthy relationship. With these signs you can identify that a relationship is not working and differentiate love from habit and dependency:
- There is abuse: It is considered that there is abuse in the couple when there are violent acts. Violence is not only physical, it can also be psychological, emotional, sexual, economic, patrimonial, symbolic or social. If your partner’s actions hurt you, the relationship is broken. These keys will help you.
- You don’t feel loved or loved: without love there cannot be a relationship. Love must be bidirectional because love, if it is not reciprocated, is an obsession. Furthermore, love must be proven and felt. Don’t you feel that your partner loves you? Rethink the relationship.
- You don’t feel respected: without respect there cannot be a healthy relationship. Respect is a basic pillar of any relationship. For a relationship to be healthy, both partners must accept the other person as they are and respect their ideas and decisions.
- You don’t feel free: A healthy relationship requires freedom. Having a partner is neither mandatory nor necessary. Having a relationship is a choice that must be made from maturity, freedom and emotional independence. You must freely choose to share your time with that person because they add value to your life. If you feel any kind of coercion, it is not love.
- You don’t feel valued and important for your partner: love must be reciprocal and must be demonstrated with actions. If your partner does not dedicate time to the relationship, does not value your company or does not appreciate you as a person, he or she does not love you. Feeling like he doesn’t value you is another sign that the relationship isn’t working.
- There is infidelity: It should be noted that the relationship is not always broken after infidelity, there are cases in which forgiveness and change make it possible to continue with a healthy relationship. However, in most cases infidelity is a symptom that the relationship is not going well. Furthermore, if it is not a previously agreed practice, infidelity represents betrayal and a lack of respect towards the deceived person, which can cause a lot of pain.
- There are many things about your partner that bother you a lot.: At the beginning of a relationship, he prevents us from seeing the other person objectively. However, as time goes by, the initial infatuation diminishes, allowing us to see our partner in a more realistic way. At that point, it is common to detect things that we do not like and, given that, it is important to see if we can accept it or not. If what you don’t like about him or her is unacceptable to you, the relationship is broken.
- You need your partner to change: People don’t change because someone else wants to. Personality, that is, the way a person feels, thinks and behaves, does not change. Character can be molded, a person can change some trait of their personality because of their own free will they decide to change it. However, he won’t change because you insist. So, if you can’t accept him and you need him to change to feel good and comfortable with the relationship, it is broken.
- You don’t feel peace: When a relationship is healthy and beneficial, what you should feel is well-being and tranquility. A healthy relationship brings calm and makes you feel good. If you don’t feel peace,
- You feel like it’s not good for you: related to the previous one, if you feel that this person does not suit you, that he does not contribute to you, that he does not improve your life, but quite the opposite, it is surely not a healthy relationship. If you think that the relationship is not good for you or if many people around you tell you so, you are right. If you feel that he doesn’t do you any good but that you “need” him, that’s not love, it’s .
- Your expectations are different: If you expect different things from the relationship, it will be difficult to meet both of your goals. In a healthy relationship you should not leave your goals, your objectives or your plans for the other person.
- You have very different values: For a relationship to be healthy and beneficial for both people, it is necessary to have a similar or compatible vision of life. If, for example, family is very important to you and work is the most important thing for the other person, life together will be complicated.
- Very different lifestyles: It is usually incompatible to maintain a relationship with a person with whom you do not share the lifestyle. That does not mean that you have to share an opinion or agree on everything, but it is important that there are more points in common than differences.
- You don’t have confidence: Trust is another of the pillars of a relationship. For a relationship to be healthy, you must feel calm. If you feel like they are lying to you, if you feel cheated on, or if you can’t trust your partner, the relationship is broken.
- It doesn’t improve your life: A relationship makes sense when your life is better with that person. If not, the relationship is not giving you anything significant. If it also complicates your life and you continue with that person, the cause is likely emotional dependency.
- Doesn’t support you: Your partner should be a partner who encourages you and supports you in your personal development and evolution. When a person feels sincere love for another, they want to see them grow and achieve their goals. If your partner belittles your goals and does not want to see you evolve, feels envy or jealousy, it hinders a healthy relationship.
- Communication is not adequate: Communication is a basic pillar of any relationship. We cannot read the other person’s mind, so it is essential to learn to express what we think and feel, as well as learn to listen and understand what the other person thinks and feels. When communication is not assertive, it aggravates conflicts, deteriorates the relationship and produces pain.
- Communication is absent: when communication is non-existent it denotes disinterest in knowing about the other. We show our partner that we don’t care. Without communication the bond deteriorates. Here you will find more information about .
- You don’t do activities together: Not sharing hobbies or leisure or not spending quality time together is a sign that the relationship is not working. If you don’t feel like sharing your free time with him or her or, on the contrary, you feel that that person is not interested in sharing time with you, it is necessary to rethink the relationship.
- There are doubts: When the relationship is going well, doubts have no place. Whether your partner expresses that he has doubts, or if you are the one who doubts the relationship, it means that one of the two of you considers that his life would be better without the other. When there are doubts it is because the relationship is not going well.
- You don’t admire your partner: You spend a lot of time with your partner and it ends up influencing the way you are, think and behave. Therefore, it is essential to choose a person who inspires you and motivates you. Someone who seems like a great person to you. In love there must be admiration.
- It doesn’t allow you to grow: A healthy and functional relationship should help you grow and develop as a person. People evolve and change, if the relationship does not allow you to make this personal transformation, it is not a healthy relationship. If you feel that you cannot develop professionally or that you cannot carry out activities that are beneficial to you because the relationship prevents you from doing so, the relationship is limiting you.
- You feel like you have to make a big effort: For a relationship of any type to work, it is necessary to make an effort to understand and live with differences. However, it must be an effort that we willingly accept. If you feel that the effort is too great and that it is difficult for you to maintain the relationship, ask yourself if it is worth it. Probably not.
- You are not sexually compatible: Sexuality is an important part of a relationship. Sexual compatibility means that you have similar ideas regarding the style of sexual practices and their frequency. For sexuality to be healthy it must be always consensual and enjoyed by people who participate in sexual practices. According to a study by the Society for Personality and Social Psychologythe variable that affects the union and happiness of the couple is the quality of sexual encounters and not the quantity.
- The relationship makes you suffer: If you feel that for some other reason the relationship makes you suffer, it is not a healthy relationship for you. Love doesn’t hurt, what hurts is heartbreak, emotional dependence and unhealthy relationships.
- You don’t share the responsibilities: In a healthy relationship, respect is essential. It is also part of respecting and caring for others to equitably distribute tasks and responsibilities. If you feel that responsibilities are not shared, that you carry more tasks than you should and that your partner does not care, reconsider if there is respect and true love in the relationship.
- You don’t share fun moments: having a good time and enjoying together is essential. Laughter and humor are a symptom of complicity and fun. If they are conspicuous by their absence, reconsider whether you really enjoy your partner’s company or whether you are still in the relationship…