Although it may seem obvious, when we are in a relationship we do not always know how to recognize if it is working or, on the contrary, it is going down the drain. It is likely that you confuse a bad streak or one with the chronicle of your imminent end. For this reason, it is not always easy to know if a relationship is going wrong.
If in recent weeks you feel that a chasm of distance has appeared with your partner, we recommend that you evaluate the true state of your relationship. To do this, here we will show you the most obvious signs which are clear indicators that your relationship is not going well and, thus, you can take action on the matter to decide, either break up completely, or try again with new energy and strength.
Lack of enthusiasm in the couple
One of the clearest signs that a relationship is not working is that you have little enthusiasm when it comes to making plans with him or her. It is clear that the enthusiasm and “madness” of the beginning will not appear when the couple has been together for 4 years, but, equally, a little enthusiasm and desire continues to appear when it comes to making plans with your partner. Therefore, we recommend that you practice a 100% sincere exercise and ask yourself if you really want and are excited to do things with your partner: go on a getaway, go out to dinner, etc.
You have no patience with your partner
It is also very typical that, when a relationship is in poor shape, any nonsense or small failure of the couple makes us really nervous. It may be that your partner is clueless and that, now, that defect is a real mountain for you. This lack of patience comes because, really, you are disgusted with each other and, at the slightest opportunity, you jump and go to war.
Awkward silences abound on your dates
If when you go out to dinner or for a walk you don’t have anything to talk about, it means that your relationship is going through a very difficult time. Normally, your partner is the person with whom you have the most trust and, therefore, even if there is some type of silence, it does not become uncomfortable but rather becomes “familiar.” And, just as you don’t get uncomfortable when there is silence between your family, you shouldn’t get uncomfortable when there is silence between your couple. If this happens, it is because there are really many things to resolve and there is a serious problem between you.
You argue a lot
Due to the lack of communication, the tiredness you feel of each other and the distance that will be separating you, it is very normal that you break up. One of the clearest signs that will help you know if a relationship is going wrong is if you spend most of your time shouting and pouting. Sometimes it may even be that boredom causes a relationship to begin to falter and arguments arise. Be that as it may, before continuing down this toxic path, it is best that you sit down with your partner to understand the origin of your anger.
There is a lack of interest
When a relationship starts to go wrong, it is normal for both members of the couple to begin to become more emotionally distant. This means that, little by little, the interest that they previously felt in the life and passion of the other is detrimental. And this ends up having an impact on your conversations that, little by little, become more dull and you spend more time talking about others than about yourself.
Lack of sexual appetite
Obviously, another of the couple’s planes where this emotional situation is felt the most is in bed. When everything is going well between you, it is normal for sex to be fluid and function normally. But, as soon as things start to falter, the situation in bed becomes very cold and distant. If you haven’t been making love lately, or if you do, but in a mechanical way and without any connection, it’s because something isn’t working well.
You think you would be better off alone
And finally, another sign that a relationship is going wrong is when you fantasize about the possibility of being alone. If you feel attracted to the option of being single and not having any ties, it is because, deep down, your partner is giving you a negative emotion instead of a positive one. You see your relationship as a “commitment” or obligation, a burden that you want to take off your back so you can breathe and live peacefully.
In addition to all the signs that we have indicated in the previous section, here we are going to offer you a TEST that you can take to find out if, really, your relationship is not working.
To perform this test you will only have to answer YES/NO to each of the questions we propose to you. You must do it in the most sincere way possible and, above all, without self-deception. It is a way to analyze if, really, your relationship has any kind of chance of surviving or if, on the contrary, it is better that you start turning the page.
Here you have the questions of the test:
- Honestly, do you see yourself with your partner in the future?
- Do you feel special with your partner?
- Are you yourself in your relationship?
- Is there respect and tolerance when you argue?
- Are you both involved in your dates?
- Do you have fun when you are with your partner?
- Do you still feel sexual desire for him or her?
- If you imagine a perfect day for you, does your partner fit into your plans?
- If you met your partner now, would you have a relationship with him or her?
Majority of YES
Your relationship has a good future perspective. It is possible that, now, you are having a bad time or that you are not having a good streak. But your foundation is solid and your feelings are pure and authentic. Therefore, do not throw in the towel and try to solve this problem with your partner so you can fully enjoy each other’s company again.
Majority of NO
It’s not that your partner is about to break up, but it is true that there are things that don’t work. It’s time to reflect, to sit down together and see what you can do about your relationship. If you wait much longer, it is likely that, in the end, the weight of the problems will end up breaking the rope that unites you. Therefore, now the time has come to face reality and try to find solutions. And, if there are none, it is better that you put a full stop.