Jealousy is an emotion that can do a lot of damage to those who suffer from it, to those who are by their side and, of course, to the relationship. It is an emotion that is not easy for anyone to carry. Therefore, it is important to learn to manage jealousy, whether with your family, friends or partner.
Do you live with a jealous person and want to help them? We take charge of what it means to have a jealous person around, that is why, in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to stop and explain to you. how to help a jealous person. Jealousy is not easy for anyone to deal with. And that’s why we also add some tips to help a jealous person.
What is jealousy
They’re a emotion we experience when we are afraid of losing something that we consider ours, whether it is a person, an object, a social position or a job. Jealousy occurs especially in relationships, but also in the work environment, in friendships and within the family.
Anyone can feel jealousy throughout their life, although it tends to occur more in , because they feel inferior regarding the person who poses the threat. Discover .
In addition to causing us emotional discomfort, jealousy damages relationships and makes us act in an uncontrolled and sometimes embarrassing way. Therefore, it is important to work to learn how to manage them appropriately.
Symptoms of a jealous person
The jealous are insecure and distrustful people, even though they may appear otherwise. Each jealous person has their strategies. Some are simpler and more obvious and others are so elaborate that they can be very scary. Here are some of the symptoms of jealous people:
- asks too many questions about where you are at every moment.
- He has special interest in know about some of your friends.
- His expression changes when you talk about someone he finds threatening.
- Try to spend more time with him/her than with your friends.
- He calls or texts you constantly when you are not together and gets angry easily if he does not receive a response.
- He questions what you tell him and tries to catch the lies he thinks you tell him.
- Check your phone and tries to convince you that it is normal.
- Pay attention to where you look or who you talk to.
- It bothers you if some people comment on your social networks or even if you have them as friends.
How to control jealousy
How to help a jealous person? Jealousy is an intense and unpleasant emotion that is often difficult to control. Since, even if you try to control them, the fact of doing so means that they are there causing discomfort. So how can you control jealousy? Above all, let’s talk about what you should not do: checking behaviors.
Conduct verification, if you prove that there is no deception, momentarily relieves your discomfort, but it reinforces the behavior. If your partner receives a message and you feel jealous, you have 2 options: check the message and relax, or trust your partner and don’t look at anything.
The first option will make you feel relief, but it will also make you want to check it every time your partner receives a message to feel better. That, in the long run, becomes a big problem. Your partner will feel limited and will end up getting tired of you not trusting him or her.
All behaviors of this type lead to a toxic relationship that will eventually end or make the members of the couple unhappy while they remain in it. In this article, we tell you the.
Tips to help a jealous person
As we have seen, jealousy can negatively affect personal relationships. So, below, we propose different tips to help a jealous person:
- Help him recognize his problem: As in so many issues, the first thing is to recognize something in order to change it. Someone who does not consider themselves jealous will not do anything to control jealousy.
- Advise that person to work : The more secure the jealous person feels, the less jealousy they will feel.
- Do not grant irrational requests: When you let the jealous person invade your privacy, checking your networks or your phone, you are reinforcing that they do it again.
- Don’t give in to their blackmail: If you do, he will put pressure on you again to get what he wants.
- Explain to him that his thoughts are irrational and caused by jealousy: the interpretation of what happens is negative and threatening when fear is felt. It is important to know that not everything that comes to our head is real.
- Teach him how to change irrational thoughts with REBT (). This therapy consists of identifying irrational thoughts and changing them for rational ones. There is a lot of literature to consult, although the ideal is to go to a psychologist who can guide you.
- Make him understand that jealousy damages relationships: Hypervigilance and the feeling of control exhaust the other person. By trying so hard to prevent the relationship from breaking, he or she will end up breaking it.
- Control locus: The jealous person must understand that there are things that are beyond their control. If your partner wants to commit infidelity, he is going to do it and all the time he dedicates to preventing that from happening will be time lost and discomfort gained.
- Work on trust in the relationship: If you’re wondering how to help a jealous person, show your confidence and make that person show it too.
- Try to avoid social media: Being alert all day only makes you see threats where there are none.
- Help him face fear: Jealousy arises due to someone’s fear of losing something they believe belongs to them. The first thing is to make the jealous person understand that people do not belong to anyone. Once you understand that, we go to the next level which is to make you understand that no one dies for anyone and that, in the worst case, separations are overcome. They are hard but necessary issues in managing jealousy.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to help a jealous personwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Barragán, A. (2016) How to control any emotion step by step. amazon
- Beck, A. T. (2011). With love is not enough. Madrid: Paidós.
- Bernstein, A.J. (2012). Emotional Vampires: how to recognize and deal with those people who manipulate our feelings. Madrid: EDAF
- Gottman, J.M., Silver, N. (2012). Seven golden rules for living as a couple. Barcelona: Debolsillo
- Ellis, A. (2007). Control her anger before she controls you. Barcelona: Paidós.