Surely you have ever heard someone say that they “removed their backpack” to mean that they got rid of a situation that did not let them move forward. Well, that’s what the emotional charge is all about. It is that backpack full of feelings that a specific situation in life produces in us and that we carry on our shoulders until we manage to process it and let go.
For some people that backpack is light, but for others it is a load that can take a long time to lighten. That weight can be given by something difficult, such as the death of a loved one, a separation or an illness.
But it can also happen that our backpack is loaded with other people’s weights, with emotional burdens from other people that we take as our own and that make our walk even more complicated.
Sometimes we agree to carry someone else’s burden with us because we feel that it is appropriate, or that the other cannot and needs our help. These are beliefs that we have deeply rooted and many times we are not even aware of their existence.
Imagine for a moment climbing a mountain and carrying your luggage and someone else’s with you. You may at some point be able to do it, but for how long? What about your back? What would happen if the terrain became higher and you had to exert yourself more? In short: what cost does it cost you to carry the emotional burden of another? And besides, why should you?
Guilt and a sense of responsibility, or any of their variants, can make us carry heavy backpacks for years. Until one day we decided to get rid of it, to say “I can’t”. Then the gait becomes much lighter.
If you feel that you are taking an emotional burden from someone else, from anyone in your circle who cannot process what is happening to them and seeks to deposit it in you to relieve themselves, remember these things and give yourself permission to say “no”. This way you will be able to get rid of someone else’s backpack without guilt.
- You should not sacrifice yourself for another to be happy
- You are no one’s savior
- You should not occupy the role of father or mother to make another feel better
- You must not constantly encourage another or push him to do what he does not want or cannot do
- You should not live up to the expectations that others place on you
- You are not responsible for the decisions that others make
- You can’t guarantee anyone’s happiness.
- You cannot solve the sadness or problems of others
- You can’t always be available to someone
- say it’s unhealthy
- It is healthy to prioritize and take care of yourself
If life is like a road, everyone has their backpack. And that is his learning. Remember that if you constantly carry someone else’s, you are not helping them, but delaying their learning. Until that person sees himself with a weight that he cannot or does not want to carry, he will not be able to move forward, but neither can you.
As long as you keep loading you won’t know how beautiful it is to walk lightly. Learning from that looser walk may be the teaching for you. Give yourself a chance to try. You deserve to be happy, and no one can take care of that except you.