As we already know, Adolescence is a stage of continuous changes and transformations at a bodily and mental level. The adolescent is in a moment in which he has to learn to deal with all these changes that arise and little by little establish his role within society and the family. On many occasions, faced with this long and hard path, some adolescents may experience aggressive behaviors as a way of express your emotions although they can also appear due to other factors.
The role that parents play in raising their children is a key factor in the development of aggressiveness. Aggression includes various types of behaviors, such as physical and verbal aggression, outbursts of anger, fights, threats, shouting, cruelty, etc. It is important to mention that because aggression is a learned behavior, it can also be eradicated and modified by other types of more adaptive behaviors.
It is important to know what characteristics aggressive adolescents have in common, which can even be detected from childhood. He detect these behaviors in time It can also help us eradicate them. Some of the typical characteristics of an aggressive teenager are the following:
- They have bass feelings of guilt. Children or adolescents who show little or no empathy towards people or animals who are harmed directly or indirectly. So they do not repair their mistakes or feel guilty for what they have done.
- They tend to be very impulsivehave poor self-control over their attitudes and emotions.
- They tend to have a poor school performance and negative attitudes towards everything that has to do with the school situation.
- They show a low tolerance for frustration.
- They make aggressive comments.
- They are prone to get into fights with the rest.
- They like to carry out activities that are related to violence, for example, they have a special taste for aggressive sports, video games, movies, etc.
- People around him constantly complain about his misbehavior and aggressiveness.
- They tend to provoke others to react with violence.
- When they are punished or corrected they get angry.
- They don’t follow the rules and rules imposed on them.
- They break objects when they are angry.
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There are many factors that can influence for a teenager to begin to develop aggressive behaviors. Some of these factors are the following:
- Being the child of parents who support aggressive behaviors. A teenager who has one or both aggressive parents is more likely to develop this type of behavior because the parents are the children’s role models.
- Adolescents who have been educated without setting limits. Parents who are too permissive with their children, who treat them as equals and do not exercise their authority over them, often cause their children to begin to adopt aggressive attitudes. They are young people who are used to always doing what they want, breaking the rules and behaving disrespectfully towards others, especially towards authority figures.
- When the teenager has suffered abuse of any kind (sexual, physical, emotional, etc.) so it channels that frustration and emotions through aggression.
- The abuse of alcohol and/or drugs It can influence the adolescent to begin to adopt aggressive behaviors.
- When teenagers they feel rejected by their peers and by society, apart from awakening in them emotions such as sadness, on some occasions they can also begin to develop aggressive behaviors as a defense mechanism in this situation.
- Adolescents who are in a stressful family environment (for example because they have significant financial problems, due to parental separation or divorce, abandonment by one of the parents, loss of a family member, serious illnesses, constant family conflicts, etc.)
- Some mental or physical illnesses can trigger aggressive behaviors (depression, schizophrenia, epilepsy, mental retardation, etc.)
- Learning problems
After having identified the typical characteristics of aggressive adolescents and having understood the origin of this type of behavior, we are going to detail a series of useful tips to know how to deal with an aggressive teenager and also manage to reduce this type of behavior, which, as we saw at the beginning of this article, can be eradicated.
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When the situation has gotten out of control, the adolescent has lost all kinds of respect for parents or authority figures. If he or she is very aggressive and could endanger himself or others, it is very useful to go to with a professional for help. The professional will be in charge of guiding parents so that depending on their individual situation they can take measures to begin to exercise authority over their children in a pacifist and constructive manner.
In some situations the adolescent will have to start a psychological therapy whose main objective will be to teach you how to manage your frustration appropriately. Depending on the personal situation, psychotherapy could be combined with the administration of some drugs.
Set rules and limits
It is necessary for parents to establish clear rules and limits for their children at home. To do this, it is important to keep in mind that both parents have to agree to carry them out since there should be no contradictions between what one says and the other. It is not necessary to set too many rules, however these must be complied with mandatory.
One of the most common mistakes that parents make is to establish a series of rules and in the end not comply with them, therefore the message that is sent to the child is that these can be ignored whenever they want. It is necessary to know that if you decide to punish your children, you must be sure that it will be carried out, otherwise it is better not to do it. Some of the rules that must be imposed on the adolescent have to do with the schedules they have to comply with, their responsibilities at home and at school, rules outside the home, etc.
Start by setting an example
Remember that as parents or authority figures you are the example to follow for the children. Therefore, promoting appropriate behaviors by carrying them out in their daily lives will help their children to imitate them and end up adopting them. It is necessary to know that if the adolescent tends to make constant provocations so that he responds with violence and aggression, we should not fall into her game. You must avoid responding with shouts, insults, etc. so that the message of non-violence is transmitted to them in order to reinforce correct behaviors in them.
Never resort to physical or psychological violence
On many occasions, parents desperate for their children’s aggressive behavior choose to hit them or verbally attack them to try to keep them under control. However, doing so reinforces this type of behavior even more. It must be avoid losing control in these types of situations because otherwise the only thing that is taught to children is that everything is resolved with violence.
If you feel very upset and feel that you are beginning to lose control, it is better that you go to another room alone and try to calm down. When you feel calmer, approach your child and talk about the situation. To calm down more quickly, you can do relaxation exercises based on breathing, such as diaphragmatic breathing.
Promote good communication
It is necessary to maintain good communication with the adolescent. One way to do it is earn their trust through understanding and empathy. To do this, you must avoid judging him and even if you often disagree with him, you must listen to him until the end and put yourself in his place to really know how he feels.
You have to let them know that you are on their side and that you want their well-being above all. This way you can find out what is really happening to him and why he is adopting these aggressive behaviors. Once you identify where they come from, you can help and guide them in a better way so that they can express their anger and frustration in a way that is less harmful to them and the people around them.
Have patience
He staying calm is one of the keys when it comes to treating an aggressive teenager and yet one of the most difficult things. We must remember at all times that adolescence in itself is a difficult stage that we have all gone through at some point. The teenager needs the example and support of his parents, especially when he is angry because it is a sign that something is wrong with him and therefore, although sometimes it may not seem like it, he is not having a good time at all. When you have patience and care for him and understand him, he will feel more accepted and protected when he needs it most.