Currently there is a tendency for people to suffer, caused largely by emotional dependence. This fear is found above all in the area of emotional relationships, in which many people find it difficult to learn to live without a partner.
These barriers may be due, on the one hand, to autonomy and security, as well as to the social pressure of the current context to have a partner and the hierarchization of romantic love relationships, by which the couple relationship is conceived as superior. to the rest of the emotional ties, whether friendship, family, etc.
These factors generate one in people and promote the development of distorted beliefs or thoughts related to the fear of loneliness. These maladaptive patterns can be exacerbated after a recent breakup:
- Catastrophic thoughts: for which it is believed that you will never meet another person and you will always feel alone.
- Dichotomous cognitions“black or white”: thoughts of all or nothing in the area of the partner, so it is thought that without one happiness cannot be achieved or that by not having a partner the person is not valid or sufficient.
- Self-demanding thoughts: the typical thought of “I want to be happy and I can’t”on many occasions it is due to unrealizable and unrealistic expectations about happiness, which is why excessively high criteria are set.
- Filtering: type of distortion in which people focus only on some aspects of reality, completely ignoring the rest. In this case, as a measure of happiness, the person only considers whether or not they have a partner, omitting other relevant factors in life.
How to be happy alone? To learn to be alone, the crucial step is to learn to distinguish loneliness from feeling alone. Being alone is not the same as feeling alone. Therefore, a reflection and differentiation about loneliness is necessary, since people can spend time physically alone and not feel lonely, while on other occasions, even surrounded by people, a person can feel lonely.
It is necessary to work and learn about how to be happy without a partnersince there is a culture of romantic love that is transmitted from childhood through the media and relationship patterns. Learn to be happy alone with the following keys that we provide you:
1. Identify your fears
To learn to be alone, first of all, analyze and evaluate what it is that you really fear about not being in a relationship, reflect on the causes of this, the factors that may have influenced this, what other fears you have overcome and how you did it. you did, etc. You can make a list of specific situations that you fear facing without a partner.
2. Deconstruction
How to be happy without a partner? It is vital to stop considering that a person is alone because they are not in a relationship, since this is a limitation of thought that does not allow us to analyze and enjoy reality completely. Therefore, you can keep a daily record of those people with whom you share moments and also write down what they have contributed to you. This exercise can help you realize that this belief is false and, therefore, overcome it.
3. Value
How to be happy every day? Apart from keeping a record of those people with whom you interact, write down weekly those aspects or positive feelings from day to day, what has been gratifying to you. In this way, it is easier to focus on the positive factors that we have in our lives and that we are unable to value blinded to the idea of not having a partner.
4. Get to know yourself
There are no rules to be happy, since each person is different and there is a great diversity of personalities and tastes. Because of this, it is advisable to dedicate some time to introspection, to discover ourselves and identify those activities that we find rewarding and positive in order to put them into practice.
5. Take time
To learn to be alone, in addition to the above, pay attention to your emotional state, do not avoid what you feel, analyze the origin of it, the different reactions and what strategies you can use to feel better. Knowledge of one’s own emotions and self-care is a key factor in emotional independence, to Don’t depend on anyone to be happy.
6. Get out of your comfort zone
How to be happy alone? Explore, do new activities, set new challenges and meet new people. All of this will contribute to your self-esteem and security, will stimulate new positive aspects in your life and will allow you to learn and enjoy other facets that you did not know about yourself. If what is gratifying or pleasurable is dispersed and expanded, the tendency to focus everything on a single point is reduced, in this case the couple. In the following article you will find.
7. Reevaluate your concept of happiness
If your thought is “I just want to be happy”, perhaps it is necessary for you to analyze what your idea of happiness is and ask yourself if it is not exclusively focused on this area. Evaluate the rest of the aspects of life, identify the positive points and those that you would like to change and establish objectives based on this.
8. Enjoy solitude
If you are afraid of loneliness, expose yourself to it. One way may be through carrying out activities or tasks that we find pleasant, such as going to the movies, to an exhibition, to eat, etc. Loneliness does not mean being at home doing nothing, it can be rewarding. In this way, a change occurs in the concept of loneliness, a more positive approach. Try doing something you like once a week without company and in this way, start enjoying solitude.
9. Travel
Once you are able to carry out activities alone and enjoy yourself in this way, a great challenge can be taking a short trip without company. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone, enjoy solitude, get to know yourself better, as well as meet and interact with other new people.
10. Appreciate the benefits
Value the points in favor of learning how to be alone; Increased self-esteem and self-knowledge favor greater emotional independence towards other people. Therefore, when we get together with another person we will do it because we really want it and because this other person brings positive things to us and we will not do it out of fear of being alone and avoiding this loneliness.
11. Place happiness
How to be happy alone? Relocate the source of happiness in yourself, not in other people. In this way, you have control over your own life and enjoyment, and other people complement it and accompany you in it. This way you will more easily surround yourself with people who contribute to your own happiness.
12. Appreciate yourself
Make a list of your virtues and pay attention to those small positive actions that you do daily. It can help you to ask people close to you about your strengths, and it can also help you discover aspects of yourself that you were previously unaware of. Here you will find others.
13. Focus on the present
It is important not to project the future from the present, it is a way to avoid catastrophic thoughts about never having a partner again. Focus on what you are experiencing right now and the positive aspects it has, that is, adopt an attitude to live in the here and now.
14. Don’t compare yourself
Focus on improving your life and enjoying it, on growing as a person, on pursuing your goals and celebrating your successes. Focus on yourself and not on what others have or do.
15. Go to a professional person
A professional person can be helpful in addressing self-esteem, confidence, self-efficacy, restructuring distorted thoughts and deconstructing emotional dependence.